Guys, It’s ok to be angry. Just put it where it belongs

[Deleted Member]

20 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

No. No it's not.
It's empathising that cis-het men are raised with a particular unhelpful mentality. Particularly within our generations and those which came before us
It's saying that due to the behaviour of SOME men, women often don't feel safe
It's explaining the reasons why we often don't feel safe and whether that's irrational or not, it's the reality.
It's suggesting that once we have an awareness of and understand the above things become easier for all genders

An example
Some people get hit by vehicles. We know then that some vehicles have the potential to hurt us. We don't avoid all vehicles because that will be silly. We do however demonstrate caution around them

You have the patience of a saint 😂

[CopperKnob]

2 minutes ago, DEUK said:

You have the patience of a saint 😂

I'm working on it

[CopperKnob]

56 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

The fuck is this shit???

This 💩 is what happens when people speak about the crimes that they've been the victim of.
.
What we hear
"Why didn't you fight back"
"Why were you wearing that skirt/top/whatever"
"Why didn't you know that they were unsafe"
"Why didn't you go to the Police"
"Why were you there"
"You must have done something for that to have happened"
"You made some really poor choices"
.
What we rarely/never hear
"Wow that's really disgusting behaviour"
"I'm sorry that someone else did to you"
"How can we as society make the changes we need to to ensure everyone feels safe"

[E-dUbBs]

I have been guilty of this I must say and realized it recently
Awesome post @copperknob

[CopperKnob]

2 minutes ago, E-dUbBs said:

I have been guilty of this I must say and realized it recently
Awesome post @copperknob

Thank you for being able to understand the perspective of other people and why some behave the way they do. I (and I'm sure others) appreciate it.

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, BadBoy-94 said:

I think most men are frustrated because they are getting slapped with a bunch of uncalled for  labels, solely because of their gender. Especially in cases like mine where all we did was try to be gentlemen and care about others.

Most of us men have learned how much we supposedly suck and how privileged we are in college when all we wanted to do was get our degrees. We don't want to be constantly reminded. Then again, maybe universities in the U.K. don't teach "I hate white male" studies like they do in the U.S.A. 

Moreover, I think treating strangers disrespectfully because of some weird ass "need to feel safe" does more harm than good, but I will let Darwinism run its course there. Because that's not an excuse in my book. If you feel unsafe or are being harassed, you report someone to the police. Period. 

There's plenty of reasons why we don't report to the Police not least because we're in the kink community
To go to the Police means making a Statement and then going over that Statement
If we've experienced ***, a *** kit is completed
Both result in reliving that initial trauma
Lets look at the facts 1% of those accused of *** are charged. That's right, I said charged not convicted. These are stats for England and Wales, look it up if you don't believe me. The Police often mention this stat to someone reporting a ***. I've been there and heard them do it.
And to those who want to bring out the old trope of " if you don't report they'll do it again"
It is not the victims or anyone elses responsibility to change/prevent a perpetrators behaviour. It is the perpetrators own personal responsibility to do the work to be a better person and not to offend in the first place.

[Th****]

Well BadBoy-94 you started out with the some what strange premise that ugly women tend to be hostile to you.

With that attitude I can see why. Frankly I am pretty shocked that you are not setting off more red flags in the female population.

It does have to be said that your replies show a totally outstanding lack of empathy and a worrying degree of assumed privilege.

Why not work from a different premise, I know this will be a wrench for you but give it a go.

Instead of getting all ass hurt because a random female did not thank you humbly for picking up her headset.

Try to think why she may act that way, what has occurred in her past that has shaped her behaviour. Before you say it is because she is ugly, a telling description, you might consider if she not making herself attractive as a defensive measure because of the same bad previous experiences.

Now I will label myself cis-het and every partner I have had has had some horror story about what guy or guys have done in the past.

Quite frankly the male population in general needs to really get their shit together and stop making assumptions about people they;
A. Do not know.
B. Are to busy focusing on their own feelings to emote with.

My apologies to everyone else who has been pleasant, sane, and as friendly as always.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, CopperKnob said:

No. No it's not.
It's empathising that cis-het men are raised with a particular unhelpful mentality. Particularly within our generations and those which came before us
It's saying that due to the behaviour of SOME men, women often don't feel safe
It's explaining the reasons why we often don't feel safe and whether that's irrational or not, it's the reality.
It's suggesting that once we have an awareness of and understand the above things become easier for all genders

An example
Some people get hit by vehicles. We know then that some vehicles have the potential to hurt us. We don't avoid all vehicles because that will be silly. We do however demonstrate caution around them

I just find your rationalizations kind of obnoxious tbh. 

[CopperKnob]

Just now, sigbro said:

I just find your rationalizations kind of obnoxious tbh. 

Likewise

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Likewise

Ultimately there are more places to get women than fetish sites and there are other places in the world where women have different mentalities, your position is uniquely western. I'm not going to conform to the whims of a chick because she's a chick if I don't feel it's reasonable. Your loss(or maybe gain? but since you're still here it obviously isn't working out for you).   

[Wo****]

4 minutes ago, sigbro said:

Ultimately there are more places to get women than fetish sites and there are other places in the world where women have different mentalities, your position is uniquely western. I'm not going to conform to the whims of a chick because she's a chick if I don't feel it's reasonable. Your loss(or maybe gain? but since you're still here it obviously isn't working out for you).   

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

[ma****]

1 hour ago, BadBoy-94 said:

GoodgirlBetterBrat, nobody is telling you to be stupid. I don't walk around with my Rolex watch and in my suit in a back alley in downtown at 1 A.M. as an example. Obviously, trust your gut instinct. But being rude to all strangers for no reason is what I was arguing against.

All I was saying is that most men are sick and tired of this constant man-bashing bullshit and being labeled as toxic  for no reason other than our gender.... 

And no, we don't feel "threatened" by your behavior. At most, most of us level-headed men just gonna ignore you. And we won't be the ones to cry "Why can't I find a good man?".

And your ex broke into your house? Wow, I think your taste in men says more about you than your posts....  

In this case, I agree with you. There are some men (a few) who genuinely want to help and are kind, respectful and polite... women shouldn't be rude in situations such yours. Being a "badass" is not an excuse for rude and mean behaviours and people, regardless their gender.

[CopperKnob]

12 minutes ago, sigbro said:

Ultimately there are more places to get women than fetish sites and there are other places in the world where women have different mentalities, your position is uniquely western. I'm not going to conform to the whims of a chick because she's a chick if I don't feel it's reasonable. Your loss(or maybe gain? but since you're still here it obviously isn't working out for you).   

It isn't?
I assure you it's definitely a gain
You lost your argument the moment you started with the insults

[Deleted Member]

Just now, CopperKnob said:

It isn't?
I assure you it's definitely a gain
You lost your argument the moment you started with the insults

Insult? I'm just making an observation. 

[Wi****]

1 hour ago, BadBoy-94 said:

Wow, so because of how "bad the harassment/stalker problem is", strangers should treat other strangers in an undignified manner like the OP suggests. 

Wow, what a way to rationalize rude female behavior... Smh....

Looks like someone's mom didn't teach yet anoter one of their daughters the Golden Rule. 

There's a simple statement that i was taught by my very loving mother and live by: treat people like you'd like to be treated yourself. 

[BadBoy-94]

1 hour ago, Aranhis said:

I don't think most men are frustrated. I think that most men are beginning to realise the stakes, at least over here and particularly among the younger generations. Certainly very few misandrist quarters presume to tell me or my contemporaries that we suck.

Treating strangers disrespectfully is expecting them to reply and communicate with you as if they owe you something regardless of their existing commitments and boundaries. Nobody needs an excuse to not engage with somebody they don't know. Period.

Relax, Aranhis. I never said anyone should be entitled to anyone else's time. We abolished slavery centuries ago. 

All I ever said was that DoorKnob,  GoodGirlBetterBrat and the rest of the male haters on this thread shouldn't take their anger out on all men solely because they've had some  bad experiences with men in the past. Which is, essentially, what they're doing and DoorKnob is even rationalizing it in her OP. 

 

[ma****]

1 hour ago, BadBoy-94 said:

GoodgirlBetterBrat, nobody is telling you to be stupid. I don't walk around with my Rolex watch and in my suit in a back alley in downtown at 1 A.M. as an example. Obviously, trust your gut instinct. But being rude to all strangers for no reason is what I was arguing against.

All I was saying is that most men are sick and tired of this constant man-bashing bullshit and being labeled as toxic  for no reason other than our gender.... 

And no, we don't feel "threatened" by your behavior. At most, most of us level-headed men just gonna ignore you. And we won't be the ones to cry "Why can't I find a good man?".

And your ex broke into your house? Wow, I think your taste in men says more about you than your posts....  

While I agree with you in regards with not being rude to men who genuinely want to help, I can sense there ("And your ex broke into your house? Wow, I think your taste in men says more about you than your posts....") a lack of empathy, understanding and the fact that you might be unaware of what ***, harrasment etc are. Someone ex's behaviours don't say anything about how that someone else is. For you to say something like that to someone who has gone through such an unpleasant experience proves that there are issues you have to deal with.

[PJ****]

4 minutes ago, BadBoy-94 said:

Relax, Aranhis. I never said anyone should be entitled to anyone else's time. We abolished slavery centuries ago. 

All I ever said was that DoorKnob,  GoodGirlBetterBrat and the rest of the male haters on this thread shouldn't take their anger out on all men solely because they've had some  bad experiences with men in the past. Which is, essentially, what they're doing and DoorKnob is even rationalizing it in her OP. 

 

Theres no need to be juvenile is there 🤷‍♂️ that's literally a dick move but anyway I digress.. if you think they're all 'Male haters' you missed the point, if you think that the OP is taking anger out on all men... you missed the point.. and 'some' bad experiences 😂 seriously go grill all your female friends (if you have any - see I can be juvenile too 😜) and ask them to recant their online dating horrors stories... there'll be many of them, this isn't a small problem.. I hear about it constantly from people I know 😂

[CopperKnob]

A Woman wrote something about Men.

Oh no.

Oh dear.

Oh my pearl-clutching goodness.

How dare she write something about men? Doesn't she know how hard it is to be a man?

If she's writing something about men that isn't completely praising the literal ground we walk on the she definitely has NO FUCKING IDEA what she's talking about.

I'm so mad.

I shall comment about an aspect of the male experience that means she'll recognise what a FUCKING BITCH she's being.

WHAT. THE. FUCK? A dude is supporting her position? How does this little piece of man-fluff not understand that I'm the self-elected spokesperson for all men? She attacked us all by bringing attention to this one thing that some (totally not all) men do! She must pay and by extension learn how manly and enormous my penis is. 

HOW AM I THE BAD GUY?! She started it. "Her personal experience"? Fucking bullshit. She's making it up, the attention whore. If I got half the attention she got then maybe I'd get a quarter of the attention I deserve. My cock and I deserve more.

[ma****]

1 hour ago, Aranhis said:

I don't think most men are frustrated. I think that most men are beginning to realise the stakes, at least over here and particularly among the younger generations. Certainly very few misandrist quarters presume to tell me or my contemporaries that we suck.

Treating strangers disrespectfully is expecting them to reply and communicate with you as if they owe you something regardless of their existing commitments and boundaries. Nobody needs an excuse to not engage with somebody they don't know. Period.

"Nobody needs an excuse to not engage with someone they don't know." True, however that is not an excuse for being disrespectful, mean and rude to everyone we met. If we don't want to engage, how about we don't say anything and move on?

But when someone genuinely just helps and the other person is absolutely an asshole, then that is not okay.

[BadBoy-94]

38 minutes ago, Thebian said:

Well BadBoy-94 you started out with the some what strange premise that ugly women tend to be hostile to you.

With that attitude I can see why. Frankly I am pretty shocked that you are not setting off more red flags in the female population.

It does have to be said that your replies show a totally outstanding lack of empathy and a worrying degree of assumed privilege.

Why not work from a different premise, I know this will be a wrench for you but give it a go.

Instead of getting all ass hurt because a random female did not thank you humbly for picking up her headset.

Try to think why she may act that way, what has occurred in her past that has shaped her behaviour. Before you say it is because she is ugly, a telling description, you might consider if she not making herself attractive as a defensive measure because of the same bad previous experiences.

Now I will label myself cis-het and every partner I have had has had some horror story about what guy or guys have done in the past.

Quite frankly the male population in general needs to really get their shit together and stop making assumptions about people they;
A. Do not know.
B. Are to busy focusing on their own feelings to emote with.

My apologies to everyone else who has been pleasant, sane, and as friendly as always.

It was an observation. And I can bring forth more if you want to. And oddly enough, those are the kinds of women who I encounter as uncalled-for hostile and disrespectful.

As an example, I was on a business trip the other day and two land whales were walking side-by-side, preventing me from reaching my destination down a hallway. All I ever did was excuse myself and then overtake them, since I was in a rush. And I get called a creep for no reason. As a level-headed person, I of course ignored them and moved on.

That said, I don't give two rats about what has shaped her or their behavior in her past. You treat others with dignity and respect, until they give you a moral reason not to. You don't pre-emptively treat others disrespectfully solely because they are a "male". Period.

But sadly, people like DoorKnob that made the OP or whatever her name is, likes to rationalize this sort of behavior. That's what I am tired of. And that's what I am arguing against. 

[ma****]

14 minutes ago, BadBoy-94 said:

Relax, Aranhis. I never said anyone should be entitled to anyone else's time. We abolished slavery centuries ago. 

All I ever said was that DoorKnob,  GoodGirlBetterBrat and the rest of the male haters on this thread shouldn't take their anger out on all men solely because they've had some  bad experiences with men in the past. Which is, essentially, what they're doing and DoorKnob is even rationalizing it in her OP. 

 

But they have said nothing about hating men... where did you take that from? It is many men's behaviours that are worrisome.

[BadBoy-94]

5 minutes ago, maryioni said:

But they have said nothing about hating men... where did you take that from? It is many men's behaviours that are worrisome.

Mary, it's not that they're explicit man-haters. DoorKnob is mentioning some valid points in her OP. Namely that men shouldn't be angry because a woman refuses to reply. With that I agree. And there are some weird ass guys out there who lack social skills. And as I said, we abolished slavery centuries ago, so I don't think anybody is entitled to anyone's time. However, I don't defend someone just because they have the same plumbing as I do. Unlike GoodGirlBetterBrat or Arhanis. 

My issue with her OP was the fact that she indirectly redirects the poor behavior that many women exhibit today on us men. And the fact that she rationalizes disrespectful behavior from women is what makes it worse...

Edited July 8, 2022 by BadBoy-94

[CopperKnob]

11 minutes ago, BadBoy-94 said:

It was an observation. And I can bring forth more if you want to. And oddly enough, those are the kinds of women who I encounter as uncalled-for hostile and disrespectful.

As an example, I was on a business trip the other day and two land whales were walking side-by-side, preventing me from reaching my destination down a hallway. All I ever did was excuse myself and then overtake them, since I was in a rush. And I get called a creep for no reason. As a level-headed person, I of course ignored them and moved on.

That said, I don't give two rats about what has shaped her or their behavior in her past. You treat others with dignity and respect, until they give you a moral reason not to. You don't pre-emptively treat others disrespectfully solely because they are a "male". Period.

But sadly, people like DoorKnob that made the OP or whatever her name is, likes to rationalize this sort of behavior. That's what I am tired of. And that's what I am arguing against. 

Dear DickBoy-94, my username here is CopperKnob which you're plainly aware of considering 'or whatever her name is'
We all know what you're arguing against. Actually, we know what you're arguing for. You're arguing for a world where cis-het men have a greater value in life than others. You value your privilege. You've been told of it even though all you wanted was your degree but you could care less about it. You want a world where no one calls out entitled behaviour. You want a world in which you can do and act as you want with no repurcussions
Unforunately for you its the 21st century
Do you think that maybe people are aware of your disregard and contempt for them because it may show through your non verbal behaviour?
Read through your last comment again, 'land whales' 'preventing me'
You don't need to physically attack someone for it to be called ***
Everyone of us has an aura around us that others are able to sense. If you're giving off those vibes, you know, the ones where you think you're better than others who don't conform to your idea of what's acceptable then you need to reflect upon your thinking.

[Deleted Member]

12 minutes ago, Willow75 said:

There's a simple statement that i was taught by my very loving mother and live by: treat people like you'd like to be treated yourself. 

I really appreciate this post in the torrent of male aggression we are all witnessing. Thank you!

Brought up the same. I wish some of the frequently offensive and provocative male bashing forum posters had been raised like us. Maybe then they could contemplate the upset caused, with what they think are clever double meaning disguised insults, which actually stand out like a sore thumb and offend so many. I'm frankly surprised the mods are allowing it and continuing to turn a blind eye, I mean the sheer volume of sexist male wind up stuff from the same pack. I'm big on free speach but why on gods earth of woman and men being humans and equals is this being tolerated and given oxygen it does not merit?

Well done to my fellow men out there. It's highly frustrating I know, and it would be easy to go start volumrs of mirror "woman suck/the problem with women/female attitudes/bad women behaviour' forum threads", but its not happening. Important to retain our dignity and self respect and keep to our values. I can only respect and commend such restraint and tolerance. Actually feeling proud to be a man and like the way my fellow males have articulatey and respectful challenged the relentless and mischievous chauvinistic attention seeking views.