First Time MeetUps

[Mi****]

As this is all very new to me, I understand that some things may be nerve-racking or even uncomfortable; so I’ll keep this question very basic as it’s one important question that I’ve really never seen brought up on here.

In the day and age of so many dangerous things happening…
Ladies, how do you get comfortable with meeting up with someone for the first time and how do you plan your meetups?

Guys, even though this is usually not a question directed to you (for some reason), how do you get comfortable meeting up with someone for the first time or how do you allow someone to get comfortable meeting up with you for the first time?

[TxFrank]

I insist that my first time meet ups have a safe call in place. Where, when and with whom.

[ey****]

generally; while I have my own steps I'd follow for my own safety

I found that patience and working with the other person on what they're happy with works well.  

[ge****]

For me it's very much about taking my time, getting to know someone on here first, building a level of connection and chemistry over a number of weeks to the point I have a level of confidence that it will translate to in person.
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Once we're both agreeable to taking that step, it may depend on distance etc but would usually arrange a social meet first, spending an afternoon doing something, not necessarily a quick grabbed coffee.
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To provide reassurance to them I'll usually provide personal details like my full name, phone number, car reg etc and will make it clear if they want to pass those to a discreet friend they are welcome to.
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A lot of it for me comes down to building that level of trust and respect along with the connection, all mixed in with a healthy dose of gut instinct.

[Mr-Brown]

Well rule number 1:

is always meet up somewhere public. Coffee (not dinner) dinner is too long. Coffee or a drink. See how the first meet goes then plan from there.
Least once you meet first time you can gage the feeling of the person.

This is what I've always done and it's worked well.

[Mr-Brown]

Oh also ideally write down where you're going exactly and tell someone. Even though I'm a man I still tell my mate I'm going to meet someone at this place (Incase I don't get ***ed) 🤣.

It's more important for females. Also if possible send a face pic of the guy you're meeting to a friend. Extra security. And check in with them once you've met them.

[Lo****]

1 minute ago, gemini_man said:

For me it's very much about taking my time, getting to know someone on here first, building a level of connection and chemistry over a number of weeks to the point I have a level of confidence that it will translate to in person.
.
Once we're both agreeable to taking that step, it may depend on distance etc but would usually arrange a social meet first, spending an afternoon doing something, not necessarily a quick grabbed coffee.
.
To provide reassurance to them I'll usually provide personal details like my full name, phone number, car reg etc and will make it clear if they want to pass those to a discreet friend they are welcome to.
.
A lot of it for me comes down to building that level of trust and respect along with the connection, all mixed in with a healthy dose of gut instinct.

Everything Gemini has detailed is what I do. I have a friend who is also in the lifestyle to whom I give the name, number and photo of anyone I’m meeting. When we meet, I take a photo of that person in front of their car and send it to her. At some point during the meet, I’ll let her know that I’m okay (or not) or, on one occasion, she strolled past the café I was in and we gave each other a discreet thumbs up 😊

[ro****]

I just asked the same thing. I prefer my first meeting vanilla. In a public setting. Meet for coffee or ice cream (summer here makes it perfect) if there is a weird vibe. No harm done and you got ice 🍦🍦.

[Da****]

Go on a very plain Vanilla date, in a public place of their choosing, starting in a D/s relationship is no different than a vanilla one.. be patient and respectful, built the trust. It's a start

[Deleted Member]

I personally chat with people for a bit and if possible do video chat before meeting. When we meet we choose neutral location like restaurant or hotel to meet

[CopperKnob]

Talk, talk and talk, in text, in phone calls, in video calls.
Once you have a level of trust/connection etc which you're comfortable with, plan a meet, go somewhere public, of your choosing so that you know the location. Make sure you have basic info about the person, name, car reg, address. Have a safe call that knows where you're going, when you're meeting, roughly what time you'll be home, who you're meeting, share the above info with them. Touch base with them on your arrival, during the meet, when you're leaving and once you're home safely.
Have cash/bank card with you. Have your own means of getting to/from the meet.
My preference is to now meet at a munch where there are others. They may have come across the individual previously which means theres the opportunity for them to take you to one side.
If at any point your gut is telling you somethings up, believe it, even if you can't put a finger on what it is and leave.

[gr****]

Make a first meeting in a very public place and such that it can be short if things just dont go well.

[ey****]

different folk have different preferences 

I like there are a lot of people who do the "this is the munch I go to - meet me there" because it means if the person no shows, they're still with friends at the munch (or I guess if the no show ends up being the other way round, at least it's kinky company)

and then there's people who don't require that

what I might suggest is of course not suggesting a favourite place you frequent or somewhere too close to where you live; but this can add to the cost for both people to travel out of their way 

in the nice weather a park or beach can be both public and at least a little cheaper and you can control the length of time there without feeling like you keep having to buy coffee or monitoring closing times

but; in itself can be overkill - there's a lot of kinda dos and don'ts which do genuinely boil down to context.  

[Deleted Member]

I typically keep things mellow. From the conversation prior to meeting up all the way to the time we actually do. I may offer the woman something to drink, show them around my place, just keep it casual and chill. If they are 420 friendly, we might even smoke before doing anything. Maybe play some music as well. That's just me though

[Ki****]

Obvs meeting in a public place can be very helpful for both of us. Should things end up at one of our places I always try to give the impression that I care for their wellbeing e.g. offering them lots of water, cooking dinner and just not overstepping any boundaries and making sure they’re comfy :)

[DarkArts1066]

It’s all about communication. Building up a mental picture of a person in your head, understanding their likes and dislikes, paying attention to issues and subjects that turn them off, freak them out or are simply hard limits - and NOT bringing them up.

The old maxim “never take a knife to a gunfight” can be modernised to “never take a vegan to a steakhouse…” when choosing a venue for a (very public) coffee or lunch..

Pay attention to detail, and it will pay dividends.

[Ho****]

It's all been said here. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Get a feel for the person you are meeting, meet in a public, let someone know what you are, if you get an itch, scratch it - if you get ANY odd feelings, if someone seems too good to be true, they are...bounce. we all wanna have#

[eu****]

You bother have a need that it's
Primal instinct let this flud your
nerves smell the endorphins let
nature take over.

[Deleted Member]

I would be very respectful as well as meet in a comfortable setting such as a Starbucks then I have a mellow personality and I’m a honest person so I don’t think anyone would be uncomfortable with me

[Matttster]

Be safe. I think CopperamKnob pretty nailed what I would recommend. And this is the same advice I give to friends meeting in a vanilla meet. There are way to many smooth talking people with unpleasant intentions out there.

1. Meet someplace public (and as was noted by someone, a good idea to not go someplace you go to frequently).

2. Have a friend know where you are going, when you are going. Have check in times. Maybe even let them have access to tracking your phone the first time (or few times) you meet. I think it’s a good idea to let them know you have a friend to check in with. If they are not understanding of that, leave.

3. Listen to your gut. Don’t be afraid to say no or to back off if things something doesn’t feel right.

Drive separately (or have your own means of transportation).

[Matttster]

Oops, I meant CopperKnob, not CopperamKnob. Big thumbs; and everyone knows what that means right?

Big hands

[Ju****]

I'm pretty reserved when it comes to people I don't know. I would have to talk to someone for months and have actual phone/video calls before I would be ok meeting someone new.

[br****]

We all have different levels and interpretations of comfort. That part is more difficult to answer. If by comfort you mean safety, then if I’m going higher risk and playing on the first meet, I have them send a screen grab of their LinkedIn and I send that, plus location meet details to a friend. If no LinkedIn I A. Seriously consider if I should meeting with them in the first place and if still yes I B. Ask them to send a pic of their drivers license with address covered. We set a check-in cut off, so that if she doesn’t here from me then she need to kick into alert mode. I tell my date all these details.

[Mi****]

This is an excellent way to handle meetups - I’ve actually suggested this to women that are meeting Me the first time

[da****]

I just let her know , I'm good people and if she is also then we can meet somewhere, populated like a store or coffee shop. There's nothing to worry about there, if she still is nervous , theres so many apps you can back ground check, ill give her my name and she can see for herself , by the way my names David McDaniel But i mean we all came to this app for a reason