First Time MeetUps

[ey****]

controversially

someone overly populated isn't *necessarily* the best place either.   I think this is something where it is important to get the other persons preferences

if you are somewhere populated then, firstly, it can make discussions difficult - but also - it can make things difficult to see what is going on

[So****]

I personally need to at least have video chatted with the person before meeting up. And sometimes it can be very sketchy

[bb****]

Omg I've blown of first dateof s of out of shere panic moments like this scenario I
It really how badly you ..........
Thinking about this question serousllyg will nake me re evaluate at wat to much and I already feel panicy I got nothing I gott go..

[Mz****]

I usually meet for a drink in person after talking for a bit and vetting heavily. If we click and want to arrange a playdate I use a friend as a safety person. I get the person's full name and address and share my location with my safety person. I also do check in text with them once through the night and when I'm leaving. I let the play partner know all of this and any good potential partner has no problem with you doing this. If they do that's a no go zone

[Da****]

Sunday at 11:30 PM, bbcsissy69 said:

Omg I've blown of first dateof s of out of shere panic moments like this scenario I
It really how badly you ..........
Thinking about this question serousllyg will nake me re evaluate at wat to much and I already feel panicy I got nothing I gott go..

PLEASE Reread of posts before sending.. it makes it hard to read and understand what the hell you are trying say if we can't even read them. It's like you are a 5 year old with the spelling mistakes throughout the whole post. I truly what to understand what you are trying to say.

[yo****]

I prefer dom couples

[Mi****]

6 hours ago, Daddy-n-sub said:

PLEASE Reread of posts before sending.. it makes it hard to read and understand what the hell you are trying say if we can't even read them. It's like you are a 5 year old with the spelling mistakes throughout the whole post. I truly what to understand what you are trying to say.

it looks like is, “OMG I’ve blown out of first dates out of sheer panic moments just like this scenario… Thinking about this question seriously will make me reevaluate what I do, and I feel panicky already. I got nothing and I gotta go” unfortunately I think my question gave them a panic attack… 😞🥺

[Da****]

1 hour ago, MissDess said:

it looks like is, “OMG I’ve blown out of first dates out of sheer panic moments just like this scenario… Thinking about this question seriously will make me reevaluate what I do, and I feel panicky already. I got nothing and I gotta go” unfortunately I think my question gave them a panic attack… 😞🥺

Thank you for the translation... and yes definitely a panic attack

[Si****]

In my experience with meeting new people from online, meeting in a public place YOURE more comfortable with is a good way to help your ***s.
Meeting the person after decent time getting to know one another online, meeting up once or twice until you're comfortable going home with them or bringing them home, things like that.
(It's always good to ask if the other person will be comfortable and what they'll do to make you comfortable)

[bi****]

Pick a handsome older, married guy....

[Deleted Member]

I always take some time getting to know people online before actually meeting them in meatspace. When (more like "if" these days) we get to that point where I'm comfortable meeting them, I tell my primary partner: who I'm meeting, where we will be, how long I'll be there, etc. And make sure I can access my phone if I need him.
I also make sure to suggest a couple of places I know are local and populated, but not too busy or crowded (which, as I have social anxiety, is nervewracking as well).

[Mo****]

I usually talk to someone for at least a few days before meeting. I try to always meet in public the first time. I have a friend that is a safe call. They know where I am headed and who I am with. I also tell them when I should be checking in. I carry self-defense spray and leave my GPS location on for my safe call.

[th****]

I like to meet up with them in a public place and not at night during the day

[ItsSusan]

Oh definite meet public cafe or same…. after chat maybe give contact number if decide want meet again.

My first meet was mall and have friend with me who go shop and come back for me cafe after half hour.

I know very quick if actual like and happy meet again.

[ST****]

I saw a movie with somebody first before worshipping her feet. I was honored that she let me drive her. The next day I told her to stay safe and be careful.

[eu****]

First off it's sex hopefully and it's all about pleasure.There is danger crossing a streat don't worry just do what you do.
Have fun enjoy the ride on both sides if it bad don't go back,but if it's good go back for seconds.

[ro****]

- First meet is always in a public space with other people around. Make the 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc meet in public if it feels needed/trust is still developing
- Always drive yourself or arrange your own transport to the first meet.
- Give details to a safety contact - family, friend. You don't have to tell them it's for kink, you can just say you're going on a date. Give name/some details on the person if comfortable, location, meeting time. Let them know if the location changes mid date. For me, I always have it so my *** (and /only/ my *** or another person I trust) can view my location on Snapchat.
- Arrange a safety check in, where your safety contact messages you for a status update or calls if you don't message back. Whilst I try not to be on my phone during meets (it feels rude) I find most people are understanding if I say sorry I need to respond to this safety check (can disguise as sorry I just need to check my *** is okay, she's going through xyz at work etc, or excuse yourself to the bathroom if you want to keep your check in private).
- If you do go back to theirs (even on subsequent dates) or invite them other let your safety person know, and try give more details such as surname if you can.
- Personally I prefer the first meeting to be non sexual. It gives me more time to judge the person and evaluate our connection and security in my own time post date, before deciding to arrange another. The delayed gratification also seems to weed out those posing as nice just for sex. I also find it helps to build better connection and lead to a robust dynamic as we foster a relationship outside of sex. I know when I'm the heat of the moment it can be tempting to escalate things, so having a hard rule about no sex on the first etc date, always meeting in public is really useful to keep yourself in check.
- Discuss STI, contraception, safewords, prior to the possibility of sexual contact. I often do this even before the first date, just in case. It also gives me an idea of their attitudes and lets me look for red flags.
- Bring condoms, just in case.
- When first engaging sexually take it slow. Personally, bondage is a nope the first few times so I can still physically exit the scene if needed.
- If they keep trying to push for something you've said no too, or ask for the same thing 10 different ways, leave.
- If the person you are meeting with opposes any of your safety precautions, do not engage even if they seem perfect otherwise.
- Have an exit plan for first dates and for first home encounters. It's okay to be rude and just leave if you're not feeling comfortable. If needed you can explain it to them over text once you have physical safety, but you don't owe them anything.

[saintsaltysynz]

Thank you for sharing

[Sa****]

Ropebrat - yes yes yes yes. Given who I am in the world I have the privilege of rarely feeling unsafe. As I’ve gotten older/wiser I recognize this isn’t true for many so I enjoy creating that for them.
When we first meet I always suggest most of what you describe. That is the time when I bring out my caring protective DD the most.

[Da****]

January 3, ropebratlittle4u said:

- First meet is always in a public space with other people around. Make the 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc meet in public if it feels needed/trust is still developing
- Always drive yourself or arrange your own transport to the first meet.
- Give details to a safety contact - family, friend. You don't have to tell them it's for kink, you can just say you're going on a date. Give name/some details on the person if comfortable, location, meeting time. Let them know if the location changes mid date. For me, I always have it so my *** (and /only/ my *** or another person I trust) can view my location on Snapchat.
- Arrange a safety check in, where your safety contact messages you for a status update or calls if you don't message back. Whilst I try not to be on my phone during meets (it feels rude) I find most people are understanding if I say sorry I need to respond to this safety check (can disguise as sorry I just need to check my *** is okay, she's going through xyz at work etc, or excuse yourself to the bathroom if you want to keep your check in private).
- If you do go back to theirs (even on subsequent dates) or invite them other let your safety person know, and try give more details such as surname if you can.
- Personally I prefer the first meeting to be non sexual. It gives me more time to judge the person and evaluate our connection and security in my own time post date, before deciding to arrange another. The delayed gratification also seems to weed out those posing as nice just for sex. I also find it helps to build better connection and lead to a robust dynamic as we foster a relationship outside of sex. I know when I'm the heat of the moment it can be tempting to escalate things, so having a hard rule about no sex on the first etc date, always meeting in public is really useful to keep yourself in check.
- Discuss STI, contraception, safewords, prior to the possibility of sexual contact. I often do this even before the first date, just in case. It also gives me an idea of their attitudes and lets me look for red flags.
- Bring condoms, just in case.
- When first engaging sexually take it slow. Personally, bondage is a nope the first few times so I can still physically exit the scene if needed.
- If they keep trying to push for something you've said no too, or ask for the same thing 10 different ways, leave.
- If the person you are meeting with opposes any of your safety precautions, do not engage even if they seem perfect otherwise.
- Have an exit plan for first dates and for first home encounters. It's okay to be rude and just leave if you're not feeling comfortable. If needed you can explain it to them over text once you have physical safety, but you don't owe them anything.

Couldn't agree more. I believe it is in the best interest of all involved to meet in public first and go from there. My sub and I still do this when meeting potential playmates. A little extra safety is worth the wait.. BE SAFE

[Fa****]

I'm always nervous when I'm meeting with people , that being said I just try to be confident about it and then it goes away after a few minutes of talking to them