How do I learn to be kinkier?

[co****]

It's hard to be something you're not. Start slow, looking up things online, and if nothing appeals to you, then maybe you're trying to be someone you aren't. Nothing wrong with being vanilla, most people are I think lol

[Deleted Member]

Go and visit munches.
Those events thought me to have bit more relaxed aproach to the topic.
It helped me to talk about it whit way more confidence.

[ge****]

3 hours ago, Naomi_Jade said:

He wants me to be more dom but I don't know how to be.

This concerns me - as it suggests your OP is possibly not because this is something you want for yourself, or have initiated for yourself, but something your partner wants you to do.
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Now there's absolutely nothing wrong with him initiating things, or even you wanting to try and please him *BUT* it also needs to be something you are comfortable with and want to do for yourself too.
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So a little self-awareness is needed, as well as an understanding of exactly what your partner is wanting/desiring here - being "more dom" could be anything from taking more control during mostly vanilla sex, right up to some pretty extreme activities - so understanding that would be the best first step.
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Once you understand that you can start to both assess your own comfort levels with it and start to learn more about it.
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Whilst many have suggested viewing porn as a means to opening your mind, you need to be very careful - most BDSM related porn is very stereotyped and not a true reflection - so while it's ok to get rough ideas of what might interest you, you need to keep in mind it's mostly not very realistic either.
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Have a think about *your* fantasies and things that turn you on, what things interest *you* in your wildest dreams - a little introspection can go a very long way.
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In summary, don't do anything *just* to please someone else, that will only lead to it feeling ***d, and possible resentment - do it because *you* want to for you.

[de****]

Well... First of all you need to check if you've already found "the real you". What does your body and brain tell you? Is there any of the "terrifying" stuff that makes you kinda still want it? Talk to me, if you want some guidance.

[Im****]

Find someone who you can comfortably explore things with and take it slow. It takes alot of mutual respect, and remember not to take anything to seriously, work out what you both like

[Ch****]

Try Mis Elle X on YouTube for skill learning. She is a little cringy American at times, but gets to the information without too much preamble.
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youtube dot com/c/ElleX
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As for learning what you like… watch a porno, think “f**k that’s hot!” Then research how to actually do it irl, what steps were hidden in the porno, how safe words work with that scene (if gagged, you need hand signals for example) and then, together, try it out and see if it works irl.
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Remember, things never go perfectly, and you are both learning. Be able to laugh about it after!

Oh! And try and get to a munch. 😊

[ey****]

you don't have to be kinkier

there is nothing wrong with liking what you like or don't.

if someone is pressurising you into stuff you don't want to do - then this is a flag against them.

[ji****]

I'm learning 2 but I've alwayz been a lil different from most

[ji****]

So itz been in me I'm jus not tha type to go out an do things like join this app

[Deleted Member]

You don't "learn" to be that, you're either kinky or you aren't, and from experience I can confidently say we all have our kinks and fetishes... Some of us are more inhibited more than the others, and it would take a lots of time, chances and resolve to embrace those kinks and bring them to light or for some they would always remain locked up in the realm of inner most secrecy, forever buried ***ing their persons... , If however you speak of the practices of kink and how far you can go with them, or honing in your kinky self's skills, that takes a good partner to sit down and have dead serious discussion, because successful lifestylers take the practice of their kinks very spiritually serious, talk experimenting, limits hard and soft, assess after each encounter emotional responses, how did the experience impact them, and if the envelope can be pushed further..etc... Great deal of progress in kinks depends on a responsive partner who is into same kinks, or of both partners are on the same wave length... finally for the partner free kinkster, one found glean a lot of knowledge watching specific porn genres, it seems nowaday there catalogued genre in every kink... But the ones really in advancing and learning more is having a good partner, who understands you're a novice and he or she happens to have experience and they would teach you the ropes, and how to unleash the beast trapped inside..

[Ne****]

I believe what you want to do is be more experimental, it takes courage and trust. Kinks can rise rise from that no doubt, but without that trust in the other person and yourself, you won’t be willing to take that leap into the unknown

[Ax****]

Exposure and a partner that you trust will do this safely and at your s***d.

[Ch****]

I disagree completely .. I understand you're saying you're scared but you are also on this site and have the balls to ask everyone this question..
So no offence intended but you're either baiting for response .. 🤔 or you are vanilla but clearly interested in this stuff..
So if it was me I would just try this shit out more an see if you find something that you really like.. coz I bet if you try hard enough you'll find lots of things you really like

[Deleted Member]

Just have to keep exploring/learning what all is out there, through porn or literature etc and try to approach new things with an open mind, when something arouses you more than startles you, start there.

[Cy****]

Confidence..you have to have confidence in yourself to try things uou may be afraid to do..or curious about..its the only way you'll know if and what you enjoy..through experience 😉

[me****]

It will come naturally, just keep exploring

[ki****]

Practice

[Deleted Member]

Just do it, but with communication beforehand, and depending on the situation

[sk****]

It up tothe person you are with to excite you and give you the pleasure that you have not felt before and then you will want to do more and go farther to feel more pleasure and do kinker things will just happen with out you thinking about it

[te****]

You could either practice, or depending on the role you are trying to follow, find someone if it’s opposite to teach you and guide you

[Deleted Member]

Ya, you need your boundaries pushed, with a safe word

[Do****]

I'd say you start with experimentation alone if you don't have someone you trust to try it with. Porn is your friend in whatever form you prefer. I got into kink more and more with fanfiction opening my mind to lots of things. I'd say I'm really kinky despite my low level of experience. The important thing is that you do what makes you feel safe. Push your boundaries but know your limits. Don't *** yourself into situations you don't feel safe in. Wrap your head around the things you wanna try and always stary small. Like with bondage: don't start with rough ropes, start with soft cloths. Things like that. Stay safe!

[gr****]

Great question. And there are some good answers on here. But to make it simple, clear, and concise follow these steps.

1. Read books or watch porn to learn what you find arousing.
2. Experiment at home. (Although this is quite limited)
3. Find a partner on here to talk with, build trust, and experiment remotely.
4. Build a relationship based on trust and experiment. Ease into it. Don’t do anything that makes you feel unsafe.
5. Begin to decipher what stuff you like in imagination vs reality.
6. Reiterate steps 3-5

[Th****]

Kink is a huge thing to explore. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed. Pick one thing that you might feel comfortable doing with (a TRUSTED) someone and ease into it. You may not like it after all. But keep trying. You'll find your yums. You might even find that to be vanilla with a few sprinkles. Also awesome, because then you'll have that list of what you like or don't. Finding a person who can read you and won't push boundaries until you're ready is crucial. Sometimes your yum/yuck list can change with different partners as well.

[ki****]

Find the right person and you will find the kinkyness.