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How Do You Tell the Difference?


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Posted (edited)

So, I have come to realise over the last couple of years that, actually, I am bad at flirting. 

Yes, I can make flirty comments to people. 

But if I'm into someone, I struggle to read the situation. Particularly, for some reason, with women.

 

There's a meme floating around that goes:

Normal people flirting: Hey, you're cute, we should go out some time...

Me trying to flirt: So, do you like bread...

 

That is absolutely me.

I am A - crap at seriously flirting and B - crap at knowing whether the other person is genuinely flirting back.

My usual go-to is "Oh they're just being friendly, they're not interested in me".

 

So....how do you know when difference between the fun flirting you so often get online, and the actual flirting that is leading you somewhere?

 

 

Edited by GoodGirlBetterBrat
Formatting
Posted
I literally have no idea! I feel like take how bad you feel you are at this and multiply x 100 you get to me 😂😂
Posted
No clue ggbb. I'm obtuse af irl and the only time I notice is after someone tells me lol.
Posted
When you find out, can you let me know?
I struggle when meeting people face to face ( ..they're just being nice)
Online, with just the words, I find so much more difficult.
Posted
Uhm, I don't unless they tell me like I'm a 7yr old..." I. Like. You. More. Than. A. Friend" whilst pointing at me 😂
If that doesn't happen, they just get relegated to the friend zone with all the others I have a crush on
Posted
Lol I think it’s easier to tell in person. Body language is huge, through a screen can be a little more difficult. I’d say try and flirt back without imploding and if they are receptive then you can at least take a few more chances (:
Posted
You need to introduce some tongue action to your bread pick up line.. like.. "I like bread".. *stares seductively as finger is pushed through bread to make a moist hole... sticks tongue into hole and proceeds to gyrate in a circular motion...

Eye contact throughout is highly important.. it let's them know this is their most bread hole!

Works every time 😶..




Posted
*moist even autocorrect doesn't like that word 😂
Posted
An innocent girl who says stupid things when you are flirting with her can be charming. It just shows that she is under secret desires…
🤭🤗😊
Posted
Just be your self genuine men will make an honest effort to flirt with you
Posted
I am crap at flirting too, tbh I have learnt to try and look out for specifics when people are flirting with me. If they have asked you questions about yourself and remember key details about what you’ve said they are likely more interested than someone who just keeps things very shallow conversationally. It is really difficult I am Autistic so am not great with communication in everyday never mind romantically etc. But I’ve found that if someone remembers something off hand about something I like or what I do for fun etc they are more invested
Posted

on the other hand.  Someone will message me or something and - I'm - are they interested or just want to chat and I don't want to assume they're interested and scare them off when I'm happy to chat. 

Posted
4 hours ago, Starman78 said:

I literally have no idea! I feel like take how bad you feel you are at this and multiply x 100 you get to me 😂😂

Hmm..I don't know, I have to be literally told 'hi, I like you, let's get it on' to know 🤣

Posted
3 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Uhm, I don't unless they tell me like I'm a 7yr old..." I. Like. You. More. Than. A. Friend" whilst pointing at me 😂
If that doesn't happen, they just get relegated to the friend zone with all the others I have a crush on

YESSSSS!!! That's me too! I'm like, they said something flirty? Ah they're just joking. They said something about something sexy/kinky with me? They're just messing. They told me they want to outright do things with me? Nahhh, they're obviously having me on. Doh 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😂

Posted
3 hours ago, Trogdor said:

Lol I think it’s easier to tell in person. Body language is huge, through a screen can be a little more difficult. I’d say try and flirt back without imploding and if they are receptive then you can at least take a few more chances (:

Hmm..probably, but I'm still completely rubbish at recognising it 😆 Someone could walk over, grab me and kiss me and I'd still be asking if they were joking around 🙈😂

Posted
2 hours ago, PJ3000 said:

You need to introduce some tongue action to your bread pick up line.. like.. "I like bread".. *stares seductively as finger is pushed through bread to make a moist hole... sticks tongue into hole and proceeds to gyrate in a circular motion...

Eye contact throughout is highly important.. it let's them know this is their most bread hole!

Works every time 😶..



 

Trust you to pick up on the food element of that post 😝 Made me laugh though 😂

Should I also add a seductive lick of the lips whilst maintaining eye contact and fingering that moist hole?

Posted
1 hour ago, lesdevon said:

Just be your self genuine men will make an honest effort to flirt with you

I'm always myself, I don't have anyone else to be 😄 also, I kinda hope it isn't just genuine men that make the effort to flirt with me...

Posted
1 hour ago, Mowie-H said:

I am crap at flirting too, tbh I have learnt to try and look out for specifics when people are flirting with me. If they have asked you questions about yourself and remember key details about what you’ve said they are likely more interested than someone who just keeps things very shallow conversationally. It is really difficult I am Autistic so am not great with communication in everyday never mind romantically etc. But I’ve found that if someone remembers something off hand about something I like or what I do for fun etc they are more invested

Thank you for sharing. That is really helpful advice 😊

Posted
1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

on the other hand.  Someone will message me or something and - I'm - are they interested or just want to chat and I don't want to assume they're interested and scare them off when I'm happy to chat. 

Yes, exactly. Trying to find the right level of interest to show when you can't figure out their intentions is a minefield! 

Posted

So I feel this clip should be instructive. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't but in any case it is quite funny.

 

Posted

You will  know   the real  ones    they   wint  be the  ones     not  saying  what  you  want  to hear  

Posted
2 hours ago, GoodGirlBetterBrat said:

Trust you to pick up on the food element of that post 😝 Made me laugh though 😂

Should I also add a seductive lick of the lips whilst maintaining eye contact and fingering that moist hole?

Yes! Licking the lips is paramount! That lets them know you're thinking about their moist hole... I should write a book 🤔 how to get laid in 3 easy (slightly obscure) steps 😂

DeviantInside
Posted
Yeah… I am notoriously bad at picking up when people are flirting… or interested… the number of times in my life I’ve been told after the fact that someone likes me only for me to think “really?… huh.” Not born out of insecurity, just general obliviousness. Short of someone stripping naked frotting against me I’m not sure I’d pick up on anything without being directly and unequivocally told that they like me… and even then probably 50/50.
Posted
9 hours ago, jameswhat said:

So I feel this clip should be instructive. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't but in any case it is quite funny.

 

Love Eddie, GG he talks about bread too it must be a flirting thing lol 

Sooooo I'm an outrageous flirt, what I will say though is I flirt with people I'm attracted too but sometimes fail at knowing when they are flirting back!!.

We're only human, sometimes someone's flirting can also be subtle or nervous, avoiding eye contact, stumbling on there words, it's tricky!!

I think if someone genuinely fancies ( and this is how I flirt incidently)  they will hang on your every word, watch you, smile alot, mimic your body language, ask alot of questions and remember things you like or dislike. In person is so much easier I think then online.

I'm super tactile when I flirt too, so look out if someone is touching your arm, nudging you etc, it means they like you and want to be closer to you. 

If in doubt ask them out for a drink and they can only say no. Failing that point like Copper said and announce "I like you" 😊

Posted
10 hours ago, GoodGirlBetterBrat said:

Hmm..probably, but I'm still completely rubbish at recognising it 😆 Someone could walk over, grab me and kiss me and I'd still be asking if they were joking around 🙈😂

Lol! You’re overthinking it silly, the best connections and flirting happen when it flows organically. One of those things you might fumble if you try to *** it, I only know you a little bit but you’re lovely and probably don’t need to be worrying so much 😂 and honestly, that’s kinda cute! That oblivious innocent thing “are you flirting with me?” thing you naturally do might actually be doing you favors if you can learn to use it well

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