Dynamic without Dating

[km****]

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't want to be in a relationship (as in dating) while having a Dom/Sub dynamic?

I'm a newbie and have done so much research and it just seems that's opposite of what a successful dynamic would be. Thoughts......

[Deleted Member]

I would think it depends on what your long term goals are

[Deleted Member]

It’s all what the two of you has mutually agreed on really.

[Lord_Talion]

It's up tonyou what's right for you and only you can make that decision

[uk****]

Some doms want a relationship some don’t, we are just like everyone else. Depends on the individuals

[Deleted Member]

I mean I'm wanting a Mistress Relationship with a need for a actual relationship

[Je****]

I wouldnt say its a red flag as such... but i am insecure and emotional.. so if i ended up having a more feeling intimately towards someone and they dont want me in that more "romantic" way id feel like crap and question myself.
If i had a D/s... id want a healthy balance of both personally. But everyone is different.

[Ny****]

I choose to be poly and I currently have a local and long distance sub. I'm just coming out of a divorce and a relationship is not an option for me. I am open as to my wants and needs & whenever I play. Both women know about each other and want to play as a group as well. It all comes down to consent and communication to me.

[Deleted Member]

Something you discuss from the start is the situation you're both in, and the direction you both want to travel, if it's not right for you both from the start, I'd say it won't work, so no red flags are required. However if you have discussed it and the dynamics are changing on a regular basis, then I'd say the red flags are warranted. Hope this helps a little 👍

[ey****]

5 hours ago, kmac3270 said:

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't want to be in a relationship (as in dating) while having a Dom/Sub dynamic?

I'm a newbie and have done so much research and it just seems that's opposite of what a successful dynamic would be. Thoughts......

that wouldn't be a flag in itself

but if this isn't what interests you then you're right for it to be a dealbreaker 

[te****]

Not necessarily, I mean you could always be friends with benefits or f**k buddies, I have that kind of relationship with a girl, and we don’t feel romantically attracted to one another so we agree that whenever we’re both single, I’m her dom and she’s my sub

[Deleted Member]

Not necessarily. I've been in a very successful non-romantic "not a relationship" D/s dynamic and it was wonderful!
We both had other partners that we *did* have relationships & romantic connections with, so maybe that helped?
It also depends on your personal preferences when it comes to kink, sex, and dating. You can have all 3, only 1, or any combination.

[Deleted Member]

I'm in an open vanilla relationship. I am not looking for a second relationship, only a dynamic. That should not be a red flag to anyone imo, but for someone looking for a rel. it should absolutely be a reason we're not compatible.

[Ze****]

I don't believe so. It could be they just wanna be friends with benefits. That's the whole reason I got this app, for friends, I've wasted 13 years on the longterm circus. Not everyone needs that aspect of a relationship. But I mean it could be a sign that they have someone else that fulfills that need 🤷‍♂️✌️💚

[Mz****]

This is very common in kink. People just have a kink dynamic without the dating and relationship. A lot of kinksters are poly or ethical non monogamous too.