Training

[Bi****]

What’s the proper way to Train your submissive? What should be the focal points just starting out?

[Cheekysub247]

You train in what ever you both desire, what you both want and need from this lifestyle.
Start slow, research and communication between you both should be your starting point.
Safety on what you both want to explore. X x

[ey****]

what do you want from your submissive?   what are their goals?

what are their current strengths and weaknesses towards these shared objectives?

--

like imagine someone walks into a gym - some want to tone muscle, some want to lose weight, some want to improve fitness, some may be training to a certain goal - so you might do an all round test on them to see where they currently are and training is based on that : where they are, where they want to go.

Same is true for subs.

[Ca****]

I believe training a sub is like teaching /training any other thing . Master should have his own method based a good mix of knowledge and experience , different Masters will train in different ways . Then , even if u have your own method , it all depends on the sub you want to train , different people learn in different ways due to multiple factors (cultural, social, personal, physical etc) . So I’m my eyes a Master must be clever , experienced and knowledgable enough to adapt and change his method to the particular characteristics of the sun to train .

[sp****]

I use corporal punishment for all training purposes, if my submissive was taught by someone else then I will let her decide what I should do and then she will most of the ,,,

[Ro****]

Focal points is teaching trust, then it's positions and basic commands...then you just build from there....in my experience.

[Lo****]

25 minutes ago, RochaMocha said:

Focal points is teaching trust, then it's positions and basic commands...then you just build from there....in my experience.

You don’t teach trust, you earn it. 

[ge****]

Submissives need training? I thought we communicated with dominants, discussed our desires and theirs, agreed limits and boundaries etc, looked at areas of interest to both of us and developed things mutually from there.
.
The only training I have ever had has been of myself, learning my own thoughts and desires and informing myself sufficiently to be able to give consent to another that I would have expected to have done much the same and who I both trust and respect as they trust and respect me.

[Ro****]

39 minutes ago, Lockfairy said:

You don’t teach trust, you earn it. 

Let me rephrase...you would establish trust.

[Deleted Member]

I don’t think any two subs are the same and therefore training should always be unique to them. More over, it is the subs requirements that are more important than the Doms, so it is incumbent on the Dom to get to know their sub before any training starts and then structure training to what the sub requires.

Training should include elements of personal development as well as kink, be that addressing issues such as self confidence, body dysmorphia, exercise or personal life aspects. The kink elements should look to explore and develop areas the sub enjoys and is curious about. 

Punishments can be used as part of training but again need to be tailored to the sub. One sub may really enjoy impact play and as such it isn’t a punishment, whereas for another light impact play may be a severe punishments. Make sure punishments are appropriate and justified, and alongside punishments rewards should be used to reward a sub when they have done well.

Edited July 29, 2022 by Deleted Member
typo

[Je****]

Trust. Time. Communciation. Established limits and boundaries.
Exploring and experimenting what works for both until comfy to try scenes and work the way slowly up.

[Catsailor69]

Some things that I make a priority when beginning with a sub are:
Establishing great communication and honesty. It matters most that we can and do understand each other. Without that honest communication, not much else is possible.

Respect and trust go a long way. Knowing and acting with each other as people. We are much more than kink dispensers and we need to feel that we are people first and foremost.

Always practicing SSC or some form of Safe, Sane and Consenaual. That simple SSC has a lot of wisdom in it. Safety makes an play more enjoyable. No one enjoys being damaged. Consensual requires a sound communication and understanding of what you are about to do and that both agree. Never forget aftercare as a part of the consensual. We don’t always know what we will feel afterwards. That’s part of being responsible in what we do.

Trust is something that I always value. I may be tempted to do something unexpected, but I always remember that it can have its effects on trusts given. Always value trust.

These are just a few things that I develop in a dynamic. They are always something to work with that makes a dynamic relationship hugely different and enjoyable in my humble opinion and experiences.

[br****]

4 hours ago, peoria591 said:

I use corporal punishment for all training purposes, if my submissive was taught by someone else then I will let her decide what I should do and then she will most of the ,,,

I’m sorry I Don’t know anyone that would respond well to this without having a traumatic experience and could have repercussions that is not good. Please reconsider it.

[Lord_Talion]

Whole depends on your dynamic as a couple

[sp****]

I was trained by a very strict woman . HI’m love and respect her more dime and that’s why she didn’t have awith me because she yoyo

[sp****]

7 minutes ago, spankingherass42 said:

I was trained by a very strict woman . HI’m love and respect her more dime and that’s why she didn’t have awith me because she yoyo

Was very loving and nurturing after and she was very proud of the fact she would on a regular basis take me in the room and punish me with the cain or anything she desires… yes it hurts but it was her way of training me to be a great slot her and she instilled consequences of disrespect or other be husbands do to there’s wives me I loved and always will have nothing but respect fir her…

[sp****]

1 hour ago, Lord_Talion said:

Whole depends on your dynamic as a couple

Thank you for your input we had best dynamic and pure love for each other,,, I know i learned quickly to obey her as all men should but more don’t,…

[CopperKnob]

Why is there so much focus on 'training' a submissive? What does that even mean? Why aren't we training 'Dominants? God knows some of them need it

[CopperKnob]

8 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Submissives need training? I thought we communicated with dominants, discussed our desires and theirs, agreed limits and boundaries etc, looked at areas of interest to both of us and developed things mutually from there.
.
The only training I have ever had has been of myself, learning my own thoughts and desires and informing myself sufficiently to be able to give consent to another that I would have expected to have done much the same and who I both trust and respect as they trust and respect me.

Of course we do! 🙄 just like we all need therapy. And who better than to train and therapize than a Dom who takes the stance that their more knowledgable, experienced and the expert in everything 🤷‍♀️
(Just made up a word 😂)
Heaven forbid that both parties are equal partners who both have strengths and weaknesses but one chooses to defer to the other 🤦‍♀️

[CopperKnob]

8 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Submissives need training? I thought we communicated with dominants, discussed our desires and theirs, agreed limits and boundaries etc, looked at areas of interest to both of us and developed things mutually from there.
.
The only training I have ever had has been of myself, learning my own thoughts and desires and informing myself sufficiently to be able to give consent to another that I would have expected to have done much the same and who I both trust and respect as they trust and respect me.

I changed my mind, I just read the 'Joy Of Women' post and can see exactly how we need 'Doms' to 'train' us

[gr****]

There’s some great comments here. But one important thing that has not yet been mentioned is this… and this is step 1 IMO.

Get crystal clear with yourself on exactly what YOU want. This will allow you to find the sun you’re most compatible with. This will enhance your subs experience because you will behave more decisively and they will feel confident they are pleasing you.

Most people say step 1 is communication. And it is… it’s just you have to communicate clearly with yourself first in order to communicate effectively with your sub.

[Su****]

9 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Submissives need training? I thought we communicated with dominants, discussed our desires and theirs, agreed limits and boundaries etc, looked at areas of interest to both of us and developed things mutually from there.
.
The only training I have ever had has been of myself, learning my own thoughts and desires and informing myself sufficiently to be able to give consent to another that I would have expected to have done much the same and who I both trust and respect as they trust and respect me.

Thank you for saying exactly what I was thinking.
But you said it in a much politer way than I would have!

[ge****]

3 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

I changed my mind, I just read the 'Joy Of Women' post and can see exactly how we need 'Doms' to 'train' us

If 'Doms' were all like that I'd be handing in my submissive badge and going to live in a monastery - at least I'd still have legitimised self-flagellation as an option!!

[CopperKnob]

45 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

If 'Doms' were all like that I'd be handing in my submissive badge and going to live in a monastery - at least I'd still have legitimised self-flagellation as an option!!

😂😂😂 i spent a day in a Convent recently. It was by the sea and everything. They all had iPads too, well all apart from one, she had a greenhouse so hardly struck me to be a life of poverty having signed a Deed of Convenance. Also, they have rules to follow each day and if you decide not to follow them, they 'encourage' you by telling you you will do whatever it is they want so not really all that different to D/s. I seriously spent time thinking about it. You don't even have to work

[ge****]

33 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

😂😂😂 i spent a day in a Convent recently. It was by the sea and everything. They all had iPads too, well all apart from one, she had a greenhouse so hardly struck me to be a life of poverty having signed a Deed of Convenance. Also, they have rules to follow each day and if you decide not to follow them, they 'encourage' you by telling you you will do whatever it is they want so not really all that different to D/s. I seriously spent time thinking about it. You don't even have to work

And now I just have an image of you in a nun's outfit in my head...right before bedtime too 🤣😂