Is BDSM harmful?

[Do****]

To those who are saying one shouldn't engage in bdsm if it is a "response to trauma" or if they are "push(ing) themselves for approval" (like Carnelian2 and eyemblacksheep) I'd genuinely like to ask for elaboration.

I'm someone who enjoys fantasies of submission and for years I've always tried to figure out why. I consider every sexual fantasy to have a reason and within myself I've uncovered many. This makes me wonder: would I have these fantasies at all if these issues were sorted?
So I've figured that if they weren't to exist under those circumstances, this means engaging in kink has to mean dealing with those struggles. These are the meanings I've assigned to kink and I hope they better explain what I said about wanting to gain approval.

Now I'd like to ask: Is my perception flawed? Is there a more defined difference between seeking approval and being genuinely interested in submission and ***?
Because I'd say I'm not forcing myself to get turned on by the thoughts, but I can't change the fact I'm traumatized and insecure and this has probably affected my sexuality psychologically. What does it truly mean to want this in a genuine way?

Thank you for your time and I hope you'll share your thoughts with me.

[ey****]

to try to elaborate 

You play with a Dominant - either a one-off or they are your Dominant - whatever

let's just say you are doing caning

you hit your limit.   the right thing to do is safeword.  however, you are worried your Dominant will be displeased or you want their approval so you carry on beyond where you are comfortable.   this is bad.

ok

you are doing caning and the Dominant stops without safeword.  You were struggling a bit but didn't need to safeword and are glad it is over.  The Dominant asks if you would like to continue.

Now it might be you genuinely want to push yourself and say "yes" but, otherwise the yes/no here should be for you - that you shouldn't feel that by saying "no" you do not get the approval.

This can apply to anything.

A Dominant could try something you didn't want to do at all - and - you engage in it because you want their approval when the right thing to do is say no.

Whether "something" is another type of play, or something sexual or whatever.

There's also that response to perceived coldness or negative reaction from a Dominant can result in pushing unhealthily - like offering to do something you're not into in the hope they'll give you attention 

[Do****]

I definitely agree and see what it is you were saying with your first comment. I definitely try to be conscious enough to know my limits and when I need to define boundaries in regular conversation and by safewording, but I've definitely had moments in which I hesitated to do so because I didn't want to upset anyone. I've been working on this and improving, but your input means a lot to me. Thank you (:

[Carnelian2]

@DollyBaby- I was merely saying that if we are mindful of why we do it, then it is fine. 
I grew up in a chaotic household with alcoholism and mental illness, which affected me in my ***s. I then later craved feeling powerless. This was before I even acknowledged that I had been suffering quite a traumatic upbrinding.
It is only since then that I have realised that the powerlessness was in response to what I experienced then, but that I actually have the power to influence things.
In this situation, the craving for powerlessness is not healthy nor appropriate.

I can only speak from my own experience, but it has made me believe that we really need to be very clear of and in control of anything we do, be it submission or domination.

This realisation has taken me 40 years to arrive at. 

[jlo]

I love what you wrote and definetly connect with your desires except I’m older.