Chat up lines! Hit me with your best shot!

[Je****]

So i was noting in a post here how much i personally hate the apps one liners that people send me.. theyre lazy and impersonal.

But that got me thinking if i *were* to be hit with a 'line' what would that be.

 

Chat up lines / jokes etc are increasingly more rare now because people dont need to actually type them here and can use the apps own.. 

So if that wasnt an option for people..

 

what line would you use?

Whats the best one youve been given or gave?

Whats the worst one youve been given or gave?

What one has genuinely made you smile laugh cry or that actually worked?

 

Someone dmd me last year with 

 

"I am gonna sue google. I asked for the best places to eat out and they didnt bring you up as an option".

 

 

I laughed. It was terrible but i laughed 🤣

 

So lets hear it... just for fun and a bit if lighthearted banter. 

Please remember to keep it on post i dont want dms with these. If theyre golden everyone should see them 😍😂

[uk****]

Get your coat babe it's your lucky night

[Ce****]

On a cringe worthy side:

I like you legs so much i’m going to name them…
The right one is x-mas the left one is new years.

Can i see you between the holidays?

Still funny how often this kinda works xD

[Attaboy4u]

"What do Germans use for birth control? Their personality

[PJ****]

Do you like star wars?... cos Yoda only one I want to *** *** 😂😂

[Deleted Member]

Guy messaged me "are you Australian as you meet all my koala fications".

Whats that then tits and dick lol.

[Je****]

Good god 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Deleted Member]

“Do I know you from somewhere?” “No I don’t think so” “oh… well I’d like to, hey! :)”

[PJ****]

Hey babe... I'm into maths roleplay 😶... you be the six and I'll be the nine 😂😂

[Deleted Member]

My fav was "do you want to build a pillow fort and then fuck in it?" Lol!!

[Je****]

Chat up lines can ruin things honestly. 

 

Once i was at a bar that i regular.

And seen someone really nice and hot. And i got chatting to them.. 

 

They said not been near this place lately

 

I said

Oh ive not seen you here, do you come here often. 

 

They dropped a massive grin on thier face and i died a little inside cus it was a genuine Q. 

But such a well known chat up line that id actually forgot and made a dick of myself 🤣

I mean i pulled yeh but thats not the point 😂

 

[PixieDust]

One of the funnier ones I received was "I would eat you like a bag of skittles "

A "what the heck" one was  "Can I send you my penis"  I politely declined but always do wonder if I had said yes whether it would have turned up in my letter box all gift wrapped with a bow

[ey****]

I used to use
"are you easily offended?"

followed by
"Would you be offended if I said you were gorgeous?" 

[li****]

These are just some of my favourites that have been used on me 🤣🤣

Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.

 

Would you grab my arm, so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

 

My buddies bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the hottest person in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their ***?

 

Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!

 

The star wars one did actually work because I am a massive star wars fan 🤣 and that was a chat up line from a woman 😂 she ended up being my girlfriend for a year and half 😍

 

 

[4R****]

An old one I've used was "I like the dress love - but I prefer the filling" - got mixed reactions with that but usually ended in laughter. 

[Je****]

A guy on here in the chat room once told me he tried one

 

He dips his finger tip in his drink.. puts it on the shoulder of womans dress and says

Oh no let's get you out of those wet clothes.

 

Well i died laughing cus thats soemthing id definately try 😂

[ge****]

Think I need to take notes...chat up lines have never figured in my vocabulary...never mind chatting people up 🙄😳🤣

[ey****]

12 minutes ago, Finally_Jen said:

He dips his finger tip in his drink.. puts it on the shoulder of womans dress and says

Oh no let's get you out of those wet clothes.

when it was the June heatwave I was doing a foot fetish scene with someone and their socks were soaking with sweat so yeah - I did the "here, let's get you out of those wet clothes" 

I mean.

It worked. 

[Deleted Member]

My dick is an astronaut, it's next mission is Uranus

I've forgotten how good your pussy tastes. You'll have to remind me again sometime

Hey beautiful, how are you? I hope not to offend you, but have you ever seen a dildo in the fat arse of a guy wearing tights?

I'd love to say that you're beautiful, but beauty is on the inside. And I haven't been inside you.

I'm gonna bury my dick so far up your ass, whoever pulls it out will be crowned king Arthur

[Je****]

Hahahah awesome.

 

I really wanna do the

 

Sexy sip on a straw as i twiddle it with my fingers and whisper

Im very bendy. 

Then cripple that straw with intense eye contact 

[Mo****]

16, first holiday with the guys abroad; i witnessed a friend try..

“Did it Hurt?……when you fell from Heaven”

[Th****]

funniest one ive heard was......how do you like your eggs in the morning......fryed or fertilised......

[Je****]

Just now, Finally_Jen said:

Hahahah awesome.

 

I really wanna do the

 

Sexy sip on a straw as i twiddle it with my fingers and whisper

Im very bendy. 

Then cripple that straw with intense eye contact 

Like cripple the straw with my fingers as i make eye contact with them

 

I haven't mastered telekenisis yet 

[Th****]

is that a mirror in your pants....cause I can see my self in them

[ol****]

Not a chat up line but I have said out loud in public "I'm gonna need a beer to put these flames out" as I've failed in front of a bunch of mates.

It worked once, or maybe twice.

(Top Gun 1986)

Edited August 3, 2022 by oldfellow