Advice

[Cu****]

I’ve been interested in BDSM for many years and finally feel at a point to explore more.

I’m very introverted and also have ASD so I find it hard to go to social events etc.

Does anyone have any advice for meeting people or are there groups you can join to go to events together as newbies so it’s not so daunting to walk in alone?

[CopperKnob]

I'm really introverted particuarly in unfamiliar group settings.
What may be helpful is seeing if you can build a friendship online and then tag along with them.
Some events also let newbies go in a little earlier, meet the organisers who may then hook you up with some people to hang out with initially and who in turn introduce you others

[BigPolly]

It used to be if you went to a fet club, you could contact the organisers, tell them it was your first time & they’d organise someone to come out & meet you to show you round however I’m not sure if that’s still the case but worth asking.
From someone who is also ASD, fet clubs aren’t as daunting as you’d expect once you’re inside. They’re not ‘in your face’ or anything, they’re just like a normal nightclub but with extra rooms etc

[gi****]

Depending on your location, there are local Munches that you can go to. Generally, wonderful places to meet people and learn

[Deleted Member]

Have you educated yourself about BDSM? There are several good books about the lifestyle and are a really good place to start.

[Deleted Member]

I'm the same. One thing I can suggest though is if you're anywhere near Norwich, sign up to Fetlife.com & look up East Tanglia as organised by Miss J. & contact her in advance.

[ey****]

I think it was munches the OP was on about as being daunting to walk in alone to

Many have a 'newbie half hour' which is at the start of the munch and so you will meet other people in the same boat as you.

If it is not a munch with such a period, aiming to arrive as close to the start time (but not before) as possible will mean you're not walking alone into a full munch either

Equally, the size of munches can vary wildly - some are 6 people, some are 60 - you might have a better time going to one with lower attendance, since even at full swing it might only be a handful of folks. 

[po****]

I’m new too

[De****]

I’m new also and I’m surprised at how many women expect to be paid to play. I’m not paying so I’m still looking.

[Gi****]

As an introvert with ADHD myself. Well done you for saying anything at all. 👍😜

[Da****]

I definitely agree with @eyemblacksheep! Another option would be to drag a friend with for support. Most munches are completely vanilla except in conversation! Ask a friend to join you for dinner with a bunch of other people to chat about spicy stuff!

[ju****]

This is Random but back when CL had personals I posted an ad JUST for this purpose…. Basically a platonic wingman to attend munches and dungeons, with the understanding that we would rescue each other if need be but help facilitate a situation if need be…. It worked out swimmingly and I met tons of great people and had a GREAT TIME.