Why is it people will match with me or view me but don’t ever want to chat

[ro****]

That is the nature of places like this. Be thankful that they aren't wasting your time.

[Ba****]

I kinda feel like it's got something to do with your profile.
Examples here, but when I look at someone's profile, there are certain things I'm looking for. A profile picture is a big one. What/who they are is a big one. If someone is looking for a Dom type, but the profile they look at says they're a sub type they normally click away because it's not what they're looking for. I've seen a lot of people put their hard limits on their profile too, and if someone has "no limits" or "Let's find out" as their limits it's one of my own personal "turn-offs".
Other people's reasoning may be different, but its a safe option that at least one of these things may be the cause of the only viewing/only liking problems you're seeing.

[ho****]

Yeah I refuse to respond to people who don’t have profile pics. Highly suggest putting one even if you have a mask on or something it’ll help even if you ugly like me 🤪🤣

[TxFrank]

Why? Because none of us are entitled to anything. If you want an interaction you need to initiate it. Honestly, I match with dozens of people that I don't want anything to do with. As for profile visitors, who cares? If you want communication you need to adult up and start it.

[su****]

No pics.

[Deleted Member]

Unfortunately, online dating is very much a numbers game. But you’re still gonna need a bit of banter and some luck…
I’ve always found that a good technique is not to immediately call a girl you like a slut/whore and hold off on graphic sex talk until you’ve built some rapport…
A bit of cheek tho is nay bad thing!

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, phoenix5588 said:

Weather ya match or not. Even if you send someone a message you rarely will get a reply. Most these profiles are fake the others are girls just wanting attention then there are a few that actually carry on a conversation even if your not what they are looking for. Common courtesy is not what it used to be.

There are certainly plenty of fakes, I agree there but from my own experience, a lot of men probably don't appreciate the sheer volume of messages that women receive on sites like this.  It would be almost a full time job to reply to every message. I reply when I can but there is no way I have time to reply to everyone who messages me.  This is just a fantasy world, but real life takes priority and often when you next login, there are even more so you've then lost track of the ones you saw the previous day and so it goes on.... sometime there just isn't enough time even to politely say no thanks.  Not ideal but that's the reality I'm afraid.   

[Deleted Member]

17 minutes ago, RoseLips said:

There are certainly plenty of fakes, I agree there but from my own experience, a lot of men probably don't appreciate the sheer volume of messages that women receive on sites like this.  It would be almost a full time job to reply to every message. I reply when I can but there is no way I have time to reply to everyone who messages me.  This is just a fantasy world, but real life takes priority and often when you next login, there are even more so you've then lost track of the ones you saw the previous day and so it goes on.... sometime there just isn't enough time even to politely say no thanks.  Not ideal but that's the reality I'm afraid.   

Absolutely, I’ve asked my ex’s their experiences in online dating a lot of it was unsettling…what a lot of women have to endure, from unrequested images, even borderline stalking to being called everything under the sun cause they turned someone down or didn’t immediately reply I could never imagine that myself. I too might have some problems with this place but it’s definitely better than a lot of Vanilla sites IE: POF.

[Deleted Member]

I view people to see what they’re into, see pics, read profile & sometimes I find I’m not into them or something I saw so I move on. Unfortunately you have to view profile to find out any decent info. The whole match thing is based on bdsm test results not because they actually matched & liked you

[Ge****]

Yes, i know the feeling...

[Gr****]

Yeah I don’t really know what this app is for tbh. The searching game is fun though

[Au****]

It's not just you. This happens to me all the damn time on every single dating app. Everywhere I go I'll match with people or it'll say you two have a lot in common you should talk! Facebook dating OkCupid POF you name a dating site I probably been on it. Oh sure I've had plenty of dates from different apps. Yet, I could never keep anybody entertain long enough because they're expecting something different.

I'll see all these people that keep matching with me but nobody wants to talk to me. That's why I don't pay for anything. Why should I pay for disappointment? If you like what's on my profile just message me. Stop being shy for once and just be like hi I like what's on your profile I too am a giant nerd!

[ge****]

To anyone bemoaning their "luck" on sites like this I'd respectfully suggest you have one or all of the following things wrong:
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Approach - think about how you approach both the site and others - it's not simply a case of "send message, get reply, get laid" and sending blind messages to profiles you've never interacted with is possibly the hardest way to meet people.
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Expectations - if your expectation is that you merely have to sign up to the site to get meets then your expectations are set wrong - it takes a lot more than that.
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Attitude - ties in with the last two, get your attitude right, show people respect and consideration, and your experience will be far better.
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Profile and pics - is your profile well written and thought out? Or is it one line of text that tells a visitor nothing about you? The site gives you the tools to help yourself, it even provides leading questions to fill in to tell people about you - so use them, and use them wisely.
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Now none of those things will guarantee a thing, but they will make your experience and perception of the site better, and what's more they're all within your control and not reliant on others.

[Deleted Member]

Most these women are fake or think they are better than everybody else.

[ST****]

I thought this app was to meet new people. Out of 9 "Hey, what's up" messages to local visitors, I got only one "not interested." I'll take that over the 8 with no reply.

[Gh****]

hey don't take it to heart.. people view profile to find if there is any common interest and ofcoz imagw fits the personality

[Deleted Member]

I do pretty good on here and I'm not extremely handsome, nor am I charming. It's a bit of a chore but I've had better luck on here than on tinder.

[Au****]

I think my comment got eaten by the system or something.

I've been on like every free dating after it is. Or I been able to find. Any woman reading this don't take this personally. It just feels like we as men have put you women on such a high pedestal that y'all believe you're on this pedestal. I have messaged probably over 3 to 400 women. I don't ask them for sex. I don't ask them for pictures. What you have on your profile is what you have. Until I get to know you I don't need to know anything else about you like that. I don't want to know what you're like in bed. I don't want to know how you kiss. I just want to get to know you. But it seems like that's impossible.

It seems like in order to get a woman's attention you got to have like literally every preference she wants but for a a woman all you have to do is say hi to us and most of us will be like yeah we'll go on a date with you this very minute what? I'm at work fuck this! No I'll drop everything I'm doing for you! I mean that's pretty much every man I've heard about. I believe that most men only have a girlfriend because that girl finally said fuck it kind of thing.

I don't know why it's so incredibly hard I don't know if we've put you on a pedestal I don't know if you put yourself on a pedestal. All I know is that I've gotten nowhere with dating apps in the last 10 years. I won't say I've not met anybody from them but I definitely will say that I've not held a relationship from a dating app for longer than maybe three or four months.

I think one of the biggest problems is that maybe I'm just too extreme of a person. What I mean is that I'm a very big nerd. I I'm big into card games, video games, manga, I'm very kink and fetish positive, and I'm a furry. I think that's one of the biggest turn-offs to a lot of women. I'm not going to change who I am. Too bad. If people don't like who I am and they want to think the worst of me because they heard of some rumor on the internet about something I'm into, that's their own fault.

I thought about dulling myself out a little bit so people don't look at me as such a ridiculous person but then I also realized that by doing myself out or trying to settle for somebody else I'm just going to be miserable.

I'd rather be miserable by myself and be miserable with somebody that doesn't really like me for who I am straight through and through. Don't ask me why it's so hard cuz even I don't really have a direct answer The only answer I have is probably the pedestal probably the fact that the internet has made men look like misogynist assholes, I don't really know either.

I don't mind talking about hobbies. I want to get to know that person but it just seems like every time I message some female it's near the fucking impossible to get their attention. If I'm being straightforward about it, yes it's frustrating. But, there's nothing I can do about it so I'm just going to go play video games and enjoy my life. Try to forget all the ridiculousness of all this you know?

[Sa****]

A profile pic could help but I wouldn’t worry about it. Your one will come when it’s time!

[ge****]

1 hour ago, mw1997 said:

Most these women are fake or think they are better than everybody else.

Most? So you've had contact with all of them to be able to quantify that?
.
Or are you basing your statement on them not having replied and assuming it's because they're either fake or think they are better than everybody else?
.
Perhaps look closer to home for answers as to why you're not getting replies if it's the latter.

[ge****]

1 hour ago, STL_89 said:

I thought this app was to meet new people. Out of 9 "Hey, what's up" messages to local visitors, I got only one "not interested." I'll take that over the 8 with no reply.

But here's the thing - sending "Hey, what's up?" messages will get you nowhere - it shows lack of effort, gives the person you're sending the message nothing to go on, or reason to want to reply, and comes across like you expect them to do the running and open the conversation.
.
Everything you need to improve your chances of getting replies is within your hands, read my earlier post for ways you can do so.

[ge****]

31 minutes ago, Audiobyte said:

I think my comment got eaten by the system or something.

I've been on like every free dating after it is. Or I been able to find. Any woman reading this don't take this personally. It just feels like we as men have put you women on such a high pedestal that y'all believe you're on this pedestal. I have messaged probably over 3 to 400 women. I don't ask them for sex. I don't ask them for pictures. What you have on your profile is what you have. Until I get to know you I don't need to know anything else about you like that. I don't want to know what you're like in bed. I don't want to know how you kiss. I just want to get to know you. But it seems like that's impossible.

It seems like in order to get a woman's attention you got to have like literally every preference she wants but for a a woman all you have to do is say hi to us and most of us will be like yeah we'll go on a date with you this very minute what? I'm at work fuck this! No I'll drop everything I'm doing for you! I mean that's pretty much every man I've heard about. I believe that most men only have a girlfriend because that girl finally said fuck it kind of thing.

I don't know why it's so incredibly hard I don't know if we've put you on a pedestal I don't know if you put yourself on a pedestal. All I know is that I've gotten nowhere with dating apps in the last 10 years. I won't say I've not met anybody from them but I definitely will say that I've not held a relationship from a dating app for longer than maybe three or four months.

I think one of the biggest problems is that maybe I'm just too extreme of a person. What I mean is that I'm a very big nerd. I I'm big into card games, video games, manga, I'm very kink and fetish positive, and I'm a furry. I think that's one of the biggest turn-offs to a lot of women. I'm not going to change who I am. Too bad. If people don't like who I am and they want to think the worst of me because they heard of some rumor on the internet about something I'm into, that's their own fault.

I thought about dulling myself out a little bit so people don't look at me as such a ridiculous person but then I also realized that by doing myself out or trying to settle for somebody else I'm just going to be miserable.

I'd rather be miserable by myself and be miserable with somebody that doesn't really like me for who I am straight through and through. Don't ask me why it's so hard cuz even I don't really have a direct answer The only answer I have is probably the pedestal probably the fact that the internet has made men look like misogynist assholes, I don't really know either.

I don't mind talking about hobbies. I want to get to know that person but it just seems like every time I message some female it's near the fucking impossible to get their attention. If I'm being straightforward about it, yes it's frustrating. But, there's nothing I can do about it so I'm just going to go play video games and enjoy my life. Try to forget all the ridiculousness of all this you know?

You've messaged 300-400 women off the back of sites like this? You see that just suggests to me that you're not particularly fussed about the individual woman, more any woman and will message just anyone in the hope of getting a bite.
.
It has nothing to do with women thinking they're on a pedestal either - women have just as many problems getting meets (the right meets) off of sites like this - yes they may have more messages and objectively more choice - but just because they may have more choice doesn't account for the quality of that choice, which invariably is very limited.
.
Many women are just as frustrated as men by not finding what they'd like from the site - and until all men learn to send respectful and considerate messages, don't get upset at rejection and don't send ***, sadly they'll continue to be just as frustrated as men.
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What many men, yourself included, seem to miss is that on-line dating is no different from off-line, you still have to find a connection and chemistry and attraction.
.
Think of it another way, if you walk down the street - you'll maybe find 10 in 100 attractive, and of those 10, maybe 3 will find you attractive too - so you're already down to 3% of that original 100 based on looks alone - then you get to talk to each of the 3 and maybe find a connection with just 1 of them, so you're now down to 1% of that original 100 - and so it goes, and it's no different on sites like this either.

[ge****]

3 hours ago, Gregster said:

Yeah I don’t really know what this app is for tbh. The searching game is fun though

It's whatever you want it to be - you just have to accept that it may not fulfil that also.
.
Personally I've found the best way to approach apps and sites like this is not to make "meeting" the main aim, take a more laid back attitude and get involved in other ways, like using the forums and chat rooms, finding out about events to attend and seeing anything that evolves from that as a very pleasant bonus...works for me

[ey****]

there's often threads like this which throw up assorted projections also

"it's common courtesy to reply" 

ok

this is individuals and their decisions, not a customer service desk.   If we take an extreme example of it taking someone 2 minutes to look at a message, check out the senders profile, then write a brief message saying "sorry not interested" if they're not or a "hey let's chat" if they are.   And they log on to, 50 messages.   Should they spend 100 minutes replying to every one?  Equally, one would assume that during sending these 50 replies, some people reply back.  And if, say, 5 are worth a reply, then by the time you get through this 100 minutes you then are "who were they again?" when they reply to your message - and then other people see you are online so send a message - and the entire evening is spent replying messages through courtesy to the point of burnout.

Add in.  That no matter how nice the "sorry not interested" message is, there are always those who will challenge it - which again adds time.

But, I've used this analogy before. If you come home to a pizza menu through your door you don't write a letter to the pizza place thanking them for their menu but you don't like pizza - same reason you don't reply junk email.

"it's easier for women - she just needs to say hi"

do you not think that is in it's own way harder for women?  that if she did make the first move that the guy would flap to try to get a date from it, not because he was interested in HER but because he was interested in any crumb of attention?  Do you not think that's a bad thing and that the low standards men hold is actually insulting to women?

Ditto if you message more than a handful in a short period - it just gives the vibe you're not interested in them, you're interested in anything and that is why they don't reply

there are thread after thread where women have said stuff like this - that they research guys before replying and that the ***tergun is often a dealbreaker.  But that also would check forum posts and stuff like entitled and misogynistic comments is also a dealbreaker.

People talk about 'competition' and too many men - but you know the biggest competitor that a lot of men can't beat?  That most the women on the site don't need any of us.  It's not the 70s, women can have bank accounts and drink in bars.  So women would rather have patience and pursue things with someone who is a good fit, than settle for someone who is a bit shit but available.  Men should do the same. 

 

[Da****]

7 hours ago, houston490463 said:

Yeah I refuse to respond to people who don’t have profile pics. Highly suggest putting one even if you have a mask on or something it’ll help even if you ugly like me 🤪🤣

If not having a picture is a deal breaker for you, then you could miss out at some great people...but your choice is your choice.