Aftercare

[Da****]

Most definitely... Aftercare is very important regardless of relationship status...

[KentDom6969]

I think aftercare is just good etiquette period, the amount and kind can always be tailored to the type of meet/play you are having, whether romantically involved or just casual play.

[st****]

It should be

[Mr_Rune]

Always should be.

[Deleted Member]

Most definitely. Aftercare is extremely important. Not just for the subs sake at times.
My first experience with a masochist was very fun for me, but it was still very new to me and making sure she was taken care of afterwards not only let me know she was good, but also helped me as well.
And even during other kinds of kink sessions, the after care can always provide reassurance to both parties.

[pa****]

Yes. I think aftercare is a part of playing. Especially if your going to be physical it’s important to make sure your sub isn’t hurt in anyway. Your taking responsibility for their well-being when dominating them and it’s important to make sure they are cared for if your going to *** them.

[Deleted Member]

Most certainly!

[E-dUbBs]

I believe it should always be a consideration though my aftercare is very intimate (or the way I like to do it that allows my head to be right about it after) it can cause issues with casual play people who don't want that kind of connection
Then I have to way up fulfilling their needs against my own
(No matter what you say I will always argue that a Doms aftercare needs are equally as vital as a subs though they may not be physical as much as mental)
I have a feeling that one is going to be controversial lol
Let the Dom aftercare VS sub aftercare debate begin

[Mi****]

@geminiman

[Se****]

Should always be offered. I know not all subs want aftercare.

[Jo****]

Always

[ro****]

I think it should be. Even if there is no romance involved. Nothing wrong with a cuddle.

[Mi****]

1 hour ago, CopperKnob said:

If it's agreed as part of the pre play negotiations then yes, I would expect it.

In my experience with a certain “dom” it hasn’t been

[E-dUbBs]

I tend to discuss it beforehand because I know I have a very intimate and connected style that I require/like/need but I'm also aware that it needs to be fit for purpose for all parties involved

[Mi****]

1 hour ago, gemini_man said:

There should be an element of aftercare of course - what that looks like though is a very individual thing - but something that should be discussed up front, along with boundaries, limits etc.
.
For some aftercare may just be a check-in or a cuddle, for some it may be a lot more, but it should be discussed and not disregarded as being important, especially so in a casual encounter.
.
That said, I was recently asked what aftercare I needed and honestly couldn't answer as I had no idea - but we talked it through and agreed to go with the flow and if I felt I needed it I was to speak up - as it turned out I didn't need any.

Exactly. At least even a check in. If I play with someone I expect to remain friends at least to see what’s going on with their lives. Apparently not for everyone xx

[Mi****]

1 hour ago, MrHorrortown said:

Yeah, I’ll have a brew if you’re making one. 😉

What biscuits you want cheeky??

[Da****]

I think so. There needs to be a “bridge“ back to the present. Sometimes it can be too much of an extreme to go from one to another

[CopperKnob]

9 minutes ago, kaycie said:

In my experience with a certain “dom” it hasn’t been

Ugh 🙄
If there was clear communication as to what would be required as aftercare, it was agreed pre play and not delivered, then I'd be ditching sharpish and keeping my ear to the ground amongst the locals to see whether it's an an issue that others have also experienced with that individual as they may need 'educating' and others to be aware

[E-dUbBs]

My Last sub liked to be left alone completely until she was ready
Which always made me struggle because my mind says hold them and make sure they're ok
But we got to a stage where I knew she'd come and find me
I just never could get past the ghost of her dead husband and the fact that I too was beginning/ starting to decline in my physical health, i stupidly said that id be happy to let her go if she felt boxed in like she was going to have to take care of me
When I should have been fighting to keep the box as big as possible
And even expand it
She was the best and most eager sub I've ever known and I told her she could go when I should have fought for her to stay

Anyway off topic
Apologies I just spilled my guts there

[Mr****]

12 minutes ago, kaycie said:

What biscuits you want cheeky??

I’ll take what’s going KC, Easy, you know me!

[BruiseWayne]

10 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Ugh 🙄
If there was clear communication as to what would be required as aftercare, it was agreed pre play and not delivered, then I'd be ditching sharpish and keeping my ear to the ground amongst the locals to see whether it's an an issue that others have also experienced with that individual as they may need 'educating' and others to be aware

This ^

[Su****]

Yes

[Eastbourneguy]

Of course. It should be discussed before any play. Even if the sub say they don't need any they should anticipate and prepare for any common needs

[pu****]

Yes it should always be included if the person is a true dom

[iw****]

I agree with you entirely. I think if someone isn't willing to indulge in aftercare then they shouldn't get the "reward" of what preceeds it. I can't tell you how many broken subs I've come across because some guy used the "dom" moniker to be sexually and emotionally abusive. It sucks extra hard when it's their first "kinky" interaction