Aftercare

[lo****]

If there is no aftercare it's just being ***d.

[Deleted Member]

Yes, aftercare is a must, it should always be offered and given. Cuddles with soft fingering costs nothing.

[LD****]

I agree. Aftercare is just part of the whole experience

[se****]

100%

[Mi****]

September 11, Alex10473 said:

Yes, aftercare is a must, it should always be offered and given. Cuddles with soft fingering costs nothing.

Why does it have to involve fingering? Just makes it sound creepy

[Deleted Member]

It doesn’t have to include more than a cuddle

[Deleted Member]

And that’s my experience

[Deleted Member]

September 24, kaycie said:

Why does it have to involve fingering? Just makes it sound creepy

It’s only creepy if you want it to be. Society has taught you that touching any covered by an average swimsuit is “creepy” “sexual” or “abusive” because they want to vilify anything that makes them feel uncomfortable.

[Deleted Member]

After care is an important part of discipline and physical/emotional intimacy. Cuddles, tickles, and anything that will help you end on a happy, fun, loving note. 

[ey****]

35 minutes ago, HideTanner said:

It’s only creepy if you want it to be. Society has taught you that touching any covered by an average swimsuit is “creepy” “sexual” or “abusive” because they want to vilify anything that makes them feel uncomfortable.

the problem with fingering is that it is not aftercare.  it is continuing the play.

It's also with someone who is potentially in a *** state and potentially more likely to go along with something or be unable to resist (even if not restrained)

this doesn't, of course, mean it shouldn't be done - but only with someone you know is OK with it and who likes it.  Certainly it would be bad advice to tell someone to do it.

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, HideTanner said:

It’s only creepy if you want it to be. Society has taught you that touching any covered by an average swimsuit is “creepy” “sexual” or “abusive” because they want to vilify anything that makes them feel uncomfortable.

Uh no, touching anything hidden by a modest swimsuit is creepy, not because society has taught us x, y, z but because the law teaches us that anything that hasn't been consented to is non consensual and with respect to non consensual touch, it's potentially SA, particularly if it involves 'fingering'
Aftercare doesn't involve sexual acts for most people I've spoken with and the comment was out of context for the OP's post

[Deleted Member]

I’m not trying to say fingering is aftercare. I’m am however saying that the laws a mostly made by vanilla prudes. Just because something is a law doesn’t mean you have to agree with it. It also doesn’t make it fact or truth. Be your own person. Think for yourself. If it’s something you and the person you are with enjoy. That’s what matters. 

[ge****]

17 minutes ago, HideTanner said:

I’m not trying to say fingering is aftercare. I’m am however saying that the laws a mostly made by vanilla prudes. Just because something is a law doesn’t mean you have to agree with it. It also doesn’t make it fact or truth. Be your own person. Think for yourself. If it’s something you and the person you are with enjoy. That’s what matters. 

You may not have to agree with it if it's a law, but you *do* have to comply with it regardless of whether you agree with it or not - but that's going off at a tangent.
.
You're right in that if it's consensual and has been agreed by all concerned, then sure go ahead and enjoy it - but think you've missed the point of the OP somewhat in a lot of what you have said.

[Da****]

3 hours ago, HideTanner said:

I’m not trying to say fingering is aftercare. I’m am however saying that the laws a mostly made by vanilla prudes. Just because something is a law doesn’t mean you have to agree with it. It also doesn’t make it fact or truth. Be your own person. Think for yourself. If it’s something you and the person you are with enjoy. That’s what matters. 

Wait... let me understand what you just said... so if I don't agree that r*pe or m*rder is wrong...then what it's not fact or what I don't have to obey the law... I am I missing the point?? That's what it sounds like when I read what you wrote.. and by your logic you have something I want, so I'm just going to take it because I don't agree that that is stealing... it's just the redistribute of an asset...

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, Daddy-n-Paddy said:

Wait... let me understand what you just said... so if I don't agree that r*pe or m*rder is wrong...then what it's not fact or what I don't have to obey the law... I am I missing the point?? That's what it sounds like when I read what you wrote.. and by your logic you have something I want, so I'm just going to take it because I don't agree that that is stealing... it's just the redistribute of an asset...

There are legal ways to fight laws you don’t agree with. Most the time the simplest way to do that is to move to a different state or area. I never said you should *** anyone to do anything. I do however support freedom and that includes the right to show love and affection in whatever way works for you and the person you are with.

Also since none of this is on topic for this post. I will not post anymore off topic responses on this thread.

[ao****]

As a dom, I need aftercare as well. A lovely cuddle can make me feel connected and calm me down, (or make me feel less guilty, I may need to make sure he won’t hate me after all). If a guy just walks away after he’s “done”, I would feel like being used.

[al****]

Personally I love the idea of aftercare but I guess depends on each individual.. could go either way

[Deleted Member]

No aftercare means no proximity to my body. I don't care how casual it is.

[Al****]

It's definitely important. Cuddles are so underrated, it's like resetting for me

[Deleted Member]

Sorry but aftercare is a requirement no matter if it is a full scene, labbing, whatever.

[Deleted Member]

What’s aftercare?

[Th****]

Like foreplay, it's just expected from me

[Ba****]

Not everyone requires aftercare. This is why it must be negotiated along with all the fun parts of play. Also, aftercare looks different to people. For some, it’s cuddles and words of affirmation, for others it’s to be hate f**ked. It’s important that everyone walks away from play happy, so communication beforehand is essential

[Mi****]

Thursday at 10:57 AM, BackRubsNBruises said:

Not everyone requires aftercare. This is why it must be negotiated along with all the fun parts of play. Also, aftercare looks different to people. For some, it’s cuddles and words of affirmation, for others it’s to be hate f**ked. It’s important that everyone walks away from play happy, so communication beforehand is essential

Absolutely!

[x8****]

No, foreplay is before sex. This is after sex when you have both c*m.