New FemDom

[ne****]

For first time FemDom, what if your Guy Sub has way way more advanced experience, should you get intimidated? If he gets cold on the relationship just because expectations hasn’t met should you let him go or how to approach?

[Sl****]

If he knows that you are not too experienced then it’s a matter of attitude. If he’s just expecting the highest of the high play right off the bat, leave. That’s just a giant red flag and more problems will happen later down the line.

However if he’s willing to show and teach you and maybe take the time to discuss things and watch some videos about plays together etc, practice, experiment and find a perfect formula for you guys. Then… that’s all good 💜💜🥰🥰🤩🤩

[Dy****]

In my view, there are two options: you can pause the dynamic and have a frank conversation about the issues being experienced. Both parties need to be forthcoming.

The second is to have a conversation ending the dynamic.

I say this because there's lot of information needed to truly dissect your complaint, but it comes down to what the two of you know of the dynamic. Ultimately, if this is an issue of respect, nothing will fix that.

[TxFrank]

As the sub in a similar relationship I can say it's not a big deal. If you're learning and applying that new knowledge to your dynamic most thoughtful subs won't be disappointed. Hell, my Domme just did a scene with another that even after 30 years I'm not prepared to do. So I suggest that it's not the experience, but the interest. Keep your interests aligned and the experience difference doesn't matter much.

[br****]

Everything is about comfortability, and that’s for both parties. If he’s getting cold than you can either try a new approach that you’re comfortable with or simply communicate that your haven’t reached that level yet and are willing to pause your relationship (if you chose to not end it) and resume once both parties are able to provide and or comfortable with each other’s needs and wants.


Always take your time and trust your gut

[br****]

From one new domme to another hope the information was helpful 🥰

[th****]

Hey I’m sure your doing fine the fact that your trying says enough and it hard to find femdoms so he’s lucky also don’t worry maybe it’s for unrelated reasons don’t get in your head too much :)

[Deleted Member]

Take it slow?

[Bh****]

Comment cause I need to know also

[am****]

Getting cold in my opinion is manipulative. I would have a talk with him about expectations.

[DTeasedHubby]

This all begins with communication. Before anything you should know expectations of each other, limits and experience. Then you can move forward together. I’d be turned on by the lack of experience and the chance to watch someone grow in confidence but not everyone is like that and they expect too much. If things have gone cold then take it back to the communication, if they won’t communicate what they want or need then it may be time to let them go.

[Deleted Member]

Have open communication with him. Talk about what you want and what he wants. It's still like any relationship

[ge****]

If you've been honest about your level of both experience and comfort then I'd suggest his expectations shouldn't be so high that he goes cold on you because they're not met.
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Likewise if you're comfortable taking the step to dominate him then I'd suggest you have no reason to feel intimidated.
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That said, like any relationship, and possibly more so, a D/s relationship needs compatibility to work, and if it's not there then perhaps letting it slip away is the best option.
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The key though is communication and understanding on both parts - being open and honest with each other about experience, expectations and ***s and working together to overcome them if you both want to. There's nothing wrong with taking guidance from him as to his desires and needs, similarly there's nothing wrong with him adjusting his expectations to your level of experience, and helping the relationship grow - question is whether you both want that enough to make it work.

[ch****]

Ok. So how does a fem dom who sees potential in sub (inexperienced but wanting more) male do aftercare in such a case? That would be, uh, me.

[ey****]

in this case if he's going cold cos he's not getting the results he desire - then - get rid

but, in general

on assumption we have someone who is interested, but inexperienced, in Femdom - with an experienced sub 

whilst generally I'd say someone is responsible for their own learning, being with someone who is experienced can be a guide in itself - the sub in this instance should accept their Dominant is learning and so it might take time (and cost!) to get the results they want

the sub should make sure the Dominant is aware on key points of play and aftercare and so on - while also showing her suitable articles, videos, resources.    He can also look up potential workshops or discussion groups that would be mutually beneficial.

particularly in F/m - this shouldn't be an arrangement that only/mostly benefits the /m - and that if his interest is submission then there is more he can do in general despite your inexperience, this could be through being proactive on serving whatever it is you need.  Basically less "I'll do anything you ask" and more, pre-empting what you would want and just doing it.

If he is as experienced as he claims, there is no excuse for him not being able to take initiative. 

[Deleted Member]

Switch here. Everybody made good points. I agree with Eyem "Responsible for their own learning... experienced can be a guide in itself". A VERY experienced Dom told me the "Importance of learning, and it never stops". I am upfront with my experiences, and the few were very understanding with me. I had never had problems, but I made sure they were NOT Slimballs!!

[ar****]

I’m not very experienced but I would think some pre-session communication would be in order. Not just for limits and safe words but what is desired and expected. It’s true this can ruin the mood for some by not being spontaneous or unexpected but once the partners learn each other’s preferences, then creativity can flow from there.

[ne****]

Thanks everyone! Kisses and hugs to all