La**** Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 44 minutes ago, BigTyTy said: Most people that message me back are just trying to sell their only fans Screen shot and report them. Its against the terms of service and they will (eventually) get removed.
PhantomFlogger Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 It is down to what the aim is. If you are looking for dates and hook ups then there are plenty of people on here just like you. I personally have been in here for nearly 6 years and can honestly say ive never spoken to or come across a bot. I think the issue is this site has a dating option but it is not it's primary function. This site is a treasure chest of knowledge, a place to be a better sub or Dom. If you read the articles, listen to the podcasts, research your kinks and talk to people you share a common kink with then you will really enjoy the community. Too many people think BDSM is about meeting a single person and living in a bubble with them, but it's about community and growth. This is a risky business we play in, name a better way to vet a partner than as the community about them. If nobody knows the person you are talking to it usually means they are new or everyone who knows them have left. Nothing beats a face to face munch, but this is a close second.. if you want to see someone's "kink CV" dont ask them, ask their munch or circle. So how successful am i? Ive met people on here all over the world, ive met many people from here IRL. Ive also had so many conversations with people far more knowledgeable than me, and this makes me a better kinkster, and in turn im more attractive to the people who want to learn and to the people who want more experienced people.. but this is my experience and not many people stay long enough to find this site's potential.
TxFrank Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 Had several successful interactions including meeting my Domme/lover. Put in the work and you'll get what you invest.
ge**** Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 Depends on a number of factors - firstly how you define "success", then what your "expectations" are and whether they are realistic. . You say you feel like you've been on the app "a while" yet you've actually only been here two months, which for sites like this is no time at all - for most people it takes time and patience to establish themselves, and even then it doesn't automatically mean you'll find a connection. . I often roll this one out - but if you think of it in terms of walking down the street and passing 100 people of the gender you're attracted to, of those 100 there may be 10 who based on looks alone you think are attractive - of those 10, maybe 2 or 3 will think you're attractive too, so you're down to 3% of that original 100 already that a mutual initial physical connection is there - of that 3%, once you start talking to them, you may only have a connection beyond the physical with one of them, so you're down to 1% or less of that original 100. It's no different here, so if your expectations are Meet Central them you may want to reset them a little. . It's undeniable that there are fakes and scammers but the site is actually pretty good at taking action against them when they are reported, and they're usually easily spotted - but to be honest I don't think there are as many as some would suggest. There are a lot of very real and genuine people about the key is finding those on the same wavelength (and timezone in some cases) as you!! . Having been around sites like this for years now, what you suggest isn't uncommon amongst men, but it usually comes down to incorrectly set expectations, attitude and approach as to why their experience isn't what they hoped for. The tools are all there to have a positive experience of the site - learning how to use them to your best advantage is the key.
Deleted Member Posted August 28, 2022 Author Posted August 28, 2022 Yes, I totally agree with you, Chris2221. About the fakes, scammers and real people interested and willing to meet. And definitely I noticed, as well, that there's a more active community in the UK, plus way more subs available.
Deleted Member Posted August 28, 2022 Author Posted August 28, 2022 I’ve been on here since May 11, and I found my sub, that will obey me. Takes time, and patience!
Ma**** Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 Like any other social app, I have run across some real people that want to connect and there have been others that were total fakes phonies and frauds. Like any other app just be careful who you are chatting with. While this isn’t primarily a dating app, the same cautions should be taken
im**** Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 I agree. I have found more fakes then real people. However I too have realized in my area it is much more difficult to find a Dom!
La**** Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 I have heard that "X is not a dating app" for way too long now. Any social gathering where you can talk to other people can be, by default of how humans operate, a dating app. Policing conversation as though it is not is just disingenuous. Just because certain people don't use it that way, doesn't mean that others do not. Not saying that was the intent of this statement whatsoever, but I think this mindset has made certain communities way too toxic by controlling the flow of conversations, how they happen, and who can have them.
Deleted Member Posted August 28, 2022 Author Posted August 28, 2022 There are a lot of fakes, scammers, frauds and people that are just here to play games. But in the other hand they are some real and serious people in here and I have met subs and couples, but only for kinky dates nothing serious so to me that's not completely success. I am more interested in a long-term dynamic/relationship.
Nylon-Nellie Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 After neigh on 4 years of looking, I have made a few connections and a few meets......but they have soon fizzled after a meet or a conversation has dried up. There is a success rate of people connecting and it lasting, but it is like finding that elusive needle in a haystack. For me, I'm considering leaving as it isn't panning out the way it should be for me. As everyone keeps saying, there is someone for everyone and patience is a virtue.
Go**** Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 It’s hard to find a good match man. It just takes time. Sometimes the vibe is right…and other times……eeeshk.
Ar**** Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 2 hours ago, PhantomFlogger said: It is down to what the aim is. If you are looking for dates and hook ups then there are plenty of people on here just like you. I personally have been in here for nearly 6 years and can honestly say ive never spoken to or come across a bot. I think the issue is this site has a dating option but it is not it's primary function. This site is a treasure chest of knowledge, a place to be a better sub or Dom. If you read the articles, listen to the podcasts, research your kinks and talk to people you share a common kink with then you will really enjoy the community. Too many people think BDSM is about meeting a single person and living in a bubble with them, but it's about community and growth. This is a risky business we play in, name a better way to vet a partner than as the community about them. If nobody knows the person you are talking to it usually means they are new or everyone who knows them have left. Nothing beats a face to face munch, but this is a close second.. if you want to see someone's "kink CV" dont ask them, ask their munch or circle. So how successful am i? Ive met people on here all over the world, ive met many people from here IRL. Ive also had so many conversations with people far more knowledgeable than me, and this makes me a better kinkster, and in turn im more attractive to the people who want to learn and to the people who want more experienced people.. but this is my experience and not many people stay long enough to find this site's potential. All of this, all of the way!! I have to agree with you about the bots, I've been here for somewhere between three and four years and don't recall ever encountering one either. I rarely get hit by would-be scammers either. Maybe it's because I'm in the UK, I seriously don't encounter half the problems most guys seem to complain about regarding this site. I might not have found what I want here but I consider my time "successful", certainly far more than anywhere else. I've made great friends some of whom I might not have met face-to-face but I've shared phone calls and do facetimes with. I've had regular dates. I've had casual playdates, and more serious/repeat encounters. I even met my last girlfriend here. I'll not pretend that they all ended well or I don't have some horror stories, yet the good still outweighs the bad - as has been said already, this place is what you make of it.
La**** Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 I personally have found some wonderful people here. As others have said, its all in what you are looking to achieve. I tend to look at people with a positive frame as often as possible and not judge their intentions until they show me what they are (Note: Not TELL. Words don't entirely cover it) all about. There are great people out there if you put in the groundwork.
Deleted Member Posted August 28, 2022 Author Posted August 28, 2022 As I said before if the only people that answer your likes are the ones trying to get compensated or just out right demanding *** for nothing I don't see a point in being on this site anymore my last relationship started on this site many years ago I lost her to cancer only reason I came back
CopperKnob Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 4 hours ago, grand-rapids360 said: Just patients, it’s harder for men to meet women. Just nature . But everything takes time And yet, for every women that meets a man, theres a man meeting a women 🤷♀️ The logic is so, er, logical
Deleted Member Posted August 28, 2022 Author Posted August 28, 2022 It’s been frustrating for me. It seems most guys just want to hook up and have control and be rough (which I haven’t done by the way, since safety is imperative in the BDSM lifestyle). I’ve been quite disappointed at the lack of knowledge, research, and genuine curiosity to learn that’s entered my DMs.
Deleted Member Posted August 28, 2022 Author Posted August 28, 2022 Patience is a virtue, but some people have big expectations and big expectations leads to disappointment. Moreover some people judge a book by its cover or restrict themselves to a certain area, type or age of interest, which makes it more difficult. Life is priceless and short, therefore there's no reason to wait for the perfect match, because perfection is over rated. I rather live life now and be happy with someone than to wait for the perfect match, not knowing if it will ever happen. We only have today, because tomorrow is promised to no one. And I know this for a fact, because I experienced it.
CopperKnob Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 4 hours ago, DJarJar_Kinks said: Met two people through this app. About to meet my third on Monday. Maybe you could post and share your tips in relation to your approach/reason(s) for your success? Plenty of woman have posted in forums/written on their profiles how they would hope to be approached/what not to do but, you know, perhaps it would be more accepted if a guy wrote it 🤷♀️
Deleted Member Posted August 29, 2022 Author Posted August 29, 2022 You will have better luck finding a kinkster by hanging around the cucumber section of your local grocery store and seeing who handles them best. I've had success on other platforms but zero on this, it's mostly bots, scammers and inactive accounts. The location filter is abysmal. I already let my subscription lapse and will likely uninstall the app soon as it's been a waste of time.
ca**** Posted August 29, 2022 Posted August 29, 2022 I haven’t found anyone really worth meeting up with; no one seems to be great at communication.
Deleted Member Posted August 29, 2022 Author Posted August 29, 2022 I haven’t found anyone really worth meeting up with; no one seems to be great at communication. I can understand your point, because it's hard to find someone who knows how to communicate. It's very important to communicate, but it's more important to know how to communicate. But there are people who knows how to communicate you just have to expend your search to a wider area.
PhantomFlogger Posted August 29, 2022 Posted August 29, 2022 34 minutes ago, casiahx said: I haven’t found anyone really worth meeting up with; no one seems to be great at communication. I dont want to sound preachy but there are many people in our community that think being a Dominant means you can just demand sexual acts, and there are just as many people that think being a sub is letting someone else do what they want to you. These people will find eachother very quickly and will rapidly devolve into nothing more than a wank between strangers, figuratively and literally. That means if you are looking for an actual connection with someone who understands BDSM and how it is built on communication, then you have to stop grabbing at the low hanging fruit and climb that tree. I promise you that once you put in the effort to understand dynamics and the community; people will come to you with questions and invitations.
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