Just a little tip For submissive men.

[Go****]

I don’t like subs who lead with their kink’s. It’s about the Domme pleasure and if you like what the Domme like then that's a match. I feel when someone profile and initial engagement is all about their kinks as a Submissive its a turn off. Limited yes servicing your Kinks no way. If you are a Domme and you agree Maybe you can school them. Or else we will continue to see subs who think this behavior is ok.

[Je****]

I'd disagree, it should be equal even in BDSM it's give and take especially from a dominant side there should be enjoyment in pleasing a sub and fulfilling their sexual desires.
C'mon watching their eyes widen when you just get that right spot in their filthy mind is the greatest thing.

But with people just starting conversations about kinks, I think it's just boring after 100 conversations 😂 however this isn't really an app to ask about people's hobbies but that isn't relative to dominant or submissive folk.

[Hal727]

I a sub and I know it’s okay. If you don’t like my kinks just move on down the road.

[ge****]

While I agree that leading with kinks isn't necessarily the right approach for "anyone", regardless of whether they are dominant or submissive, the rest of it is purely *your* preference.

For me D/s is *not* about the Dommes pleasure any more than it's about the submissive's, and if I came across (no pun intended) a Domme who was all about her own pleasure and not mine, I'd not be interested.

I get the point you're trying to make, and agree with it, but think it needs some balance.

As for other dominants schooling their submissives to your way of thinking, consider this, if the submissive has that dominant in the first place, they did so without any "schooling" needed, so why would further schooling be necessary?

[Deleted Member]

Maybe learn to give and take, maybe you’re not so much a domme and more of a master. Try looking for a slave instead of a sub.

[ma****]

1 hour ago, Jessicastrophe said:

I'd disagree, it should be equal even in BDSM it's give and take especially from a dominant side there should be enjoyment in pleasing a sub and fulfilling their sexual desires.
C'mon watching their eyes widen when you just get that right spot in their filthy mind is the greatest thing.

But with people just starting conversations about kinks, I think it's just boring after 100 conversations 😂 however this isn't really an app to ask about people's hobbies but that isn't relative to dominant or submissive folk.

"this isn't really an app to ask anout people's hobbies" - This is a dating app so if people search for a relationship, then, most of the time, they would rather talk about their hobbies, dreams, ***s etc before talking about their kinks.

[ey****]

there's different dynamic structures and what is right for one person is wrong for someone else.

leading with fetishes we (should) know is nearly always a no-no, cos it's objectifying

But it is important there's an overlap in interests

[Cimky]

Mmmmmm as a bit of an old soul and Domme you might not agree with me and thats all fine and well.

Bdsm no matter where you fall under the umbrella is a give and take just like any other part of life overall sadly we live in a time of instant gratification and that created an idea of "me 1st" or "me only" and while I fully get the frustration of some of the newer members (kink overall not just here) we as older or more established kinksters need to remember some of what you go through as a newbie.

Sub and Dom frenzy is as real as your frustration for a moment remember back to when you just started driving you learned a new skill that opened a ton of new possibilities for you a new freedom but you still lacked the ability to clearly read situations meaning for more experience drivers you where one hell of a frustration on the road and we all tend to forget the awkward growing phases we go through in life.

People come out as kinksters at different stages of their lives meaning you cant use age to judge a person's knowledge or experience, platforms like these has the tags and options available for you to add your kinks and preferences to make it easier to find possible compatibility partners.

If you are going into dynamics with the idea of "I am the Domme so its all about me" you will pick up newbies like flies around a trash can simply because they dont know better yet.

The true power of the dynamic is in the hands of the submissive without the gift of submission all you are is a grumpy bitch no one can stand and no you are not alone in your way of thinking I have seen it plenty of times under newer doms its called Dom frenzy for a reason you are power hungry and all you are doing is chasing away the pray.

As for being able to see upfront what someone is into or what not, o hell yes!!! Maybe start with a proper greeting and ask if you can send your list of kinks and limits and take it from there in that way you know if you are compatibility or not from the get go.

And lastly asking other or rather ordering other Domme's to train submissives to treat you the way you want to be treated is called - voor op die donerse wa en heeltemal te groot vir jou skoene poplap. In short just incase Google does not do the translation justice. Get over yourself dolla and grow up

[Deleted Member]

Switch: This is what I look out for. If I see any of this, I am out, but done politely.

[TxFrank]

The truth of the matter is this behavior is not unusual for men or women. They mistakenly label themselves as submissive. The correct designation is bottom. They aren't looking for commitment outside of a session. So listing their kinks is a sorting process.
I have a Domme whom I serve domestically and as she desires otherwise. So I'm not looking for another. What I am after is a play partner. I have no expectations of service or being served by these individuals. So when I approach, or am approached, I'm very clear about this. I think more of the problem is the misuse of labels rather that the attitude.

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, Cimky said:

Mmmmmm as a bit of an old soul and Domme you might not agree with me and thats all fine and well.

Bdsm no matter where you fall under the umbrella is a give and take just like any other part of life overall sadly we live in a time of instant gratification and that created an idea of "me 1st" or "me only" and while I fully get the frustration of some of the newer members (kink overall not just here) we as older or more established kinksters need to remember some of what you go through as a newbie.

Sub and Dom frenzy is as real as your frustration for a moment remember back to when you just started driving you learned a new skill that opened a ton of new possibilities for you a new freedom but you still lacked the ability to clearly read situations meaning for more experience drivers you where one hell of a frustration on the road and we all tend to forget the awkward growing phases we go through in life.

People come out as kinksters at different stages of their lives meaning you cant use age to judge a person's knowledge or experience, platforms like these has the tags and options available for you to add your kinks and preferences to make it easier to find possible compatibility partners.

If you are going into dynamics with the idea of "I am the Domme so its all about me" you will pick up newbies like flies around a trash can simply because they dont know better yet.

The true power of the dynamic is in the hands of the submissive without the gift of submission all you are is a grumpy bitch no one can stand and no you are not alone in your way of thinking I have seen it plenty of times under newer doms its called Dom frenzy for a reason you are power hungry and all you are doing is chasing away the pray.

As for being able to see upfront what someone is into or what not, o hell yes!!! Maybe start with a proper greeting and ask if you can send your list of kinks and limits and take it from there in that way you know if you are compatibility or not from the get go.

And lastly asking other or rather ordering other Domme's to train submissives to treat you the way you want to be treated is called - voor op die donerse wa en heeltemal te groot vir jou skoene poplap. In short just incase Google does not do the translation justice. Get over yourself dolla and grow up

Wow! Very well said lmao

[bh****]

I agree with TxFrank

[Go****]

I agree with Tx frank it’s a mistake of labeling. There is nothing wrong with only waiting kink but I don’t believe that is a true submissive person. That is a bottom like you stated. That may have made things clear for submissive’s and bottom. Maybe that way we can get what we all want. Those that actually want a submissive and those that just want kink a bottom

[ge****]

3 hours ago, GoddessNisha said:

I agree with Tx frank it’s a mistake of labeling. There is nothing wrong with only waiting kink but I don’t believe that is a true submissive person. That is a bottom like you stated. That may have made things clear for submissive’s and bottom. Maybe that way we can get what we all want. Those that actually want a submissive and those that just want kink a bottom

Define a "true" submissive person though? There isn't a single definition, there are many, just as there are many definitions of a "true" dominant.
.
So it's absolutely *not* a "mistake" or "misuse" of labels in the slightest, is simply *your* preferences compared to the preferences of another.

[ey****]

controversial opinion time

people use terms like "Dominant"/"Top" or "Submissive"/"Bottom" as a form of absolute - but in reality people are somewhere between the two.

it's the no true scotsman fallacy.

[Gigglesthru***]

Wednesday at 05:35 PM, GoddessNisha said:

I agree with Tx frank it’s a mistake of labeling. There is nothing wrong with only waiting kink but I don’t believe that is a true submissive person. That is a bottom like you stated. That may have made things clear for submissive’s and bottom. Maybe that way we can get what we all want. Those that actually want a submissive and those that just want kink a bottom

Most people can not handle a true D/s relationship that is 24/7 365 . I have been in one and others called us crazy and extreme for how intense the power exchange was.

[Go****]

Wow I really enjoy hearing everyone prospective Always love to see thing’s in multiple angle’s. I feel it makes me a Better Domme and some could help for growth. Everyday I learn. A wise man once’s wrote you are never to old to big to Do m to grow.

[Footslave4u69]

As a sub, I let my fetishes be known asap as a kind of screening process. As someone with an extreme foot fetish, I need to know if the domme I'm talking to enjoys or at least tolerates having her feet worshipped. If not, why waste any more of her or my time. 

As a sub, it is important to learn the kinks of my domme so I can successfully pleasure her. But if she could care less about my kinks, and won't implement them into at least a rewards or punishments system. Then I'm going to be miserable serving her, so why go any further?

I realize the domme is in charge, makes the decisions of what, when, where, how, how much, how long, etc. But if she won't even take my wants and needs into consideration then she's definitely not the right domme for me. If our kinks are shared right away, we can know if it's worth pursuing any further.

As a submissive foot worshipper who also loves facesitting and eating ass, shouldn't I seek a domme who loves to have her feet worshipped and needs a face to sit on while getting her asseaten?

[Countess_Estefania]

On 9/5/2022 at 7:58 AM, Cimky said:

Mmmmmm as a bit of an old soul and Domme you might not agree with me and thats all fine and well.

Bdsm no matter where you fall under the umbrella is a give and take just like any other part of life overall sadly we live in a time of instant gratification and that created an idea of "me 1st" or "me only" and while I fully get the frustration of some of the newer members (kink overall not just here) we as older or more established kinksters need to remember some of what you go through as a newbie.

Sub and Dom frenzy is as real as your frustration for a moment remember back to when you just started driving you learned a new skill that opened a ton of new possibilities for you a new freedom but you still lacked the ability to clearly read situations meaning for more experience drivers you where one hell of a frustration on the road and we all tend to forget the awkward growing phases we go through in life.

People come out as kinksters at different stages of their lives meaning you cant use age to judge a person's knowledge or experience, platforms like these has the tags and options available for you to add your kinks and preferences to make it easier to find possible compatibility partners.

If you are going into dynamics with the idea of "I am the Domme so its all about me" you will pick up newbies like flies around a trash can simply because they dont know better yet.

The true power of the dynamic is in the hands of the submissive without the gift of submission all you are is a grumpy bitch no one can stand and no you are not alone in your way of thinking I have seen it plenty of times under newer doms its called Dom frenzy for a reason you are power hungry and all you are doing is chasing away the pray.

As for being able to see upfront what someone is into or what not, o hell yes!!! Maybe start with a proper greeting and ask if you can send your list of kinks and limits and take it from there in that way you know if you are compatibility or not from the get go.

And lastly asking other or rather ordering other Domme's to train submissives to treat you the way you want to be treated is called - voor op die donerse wa en heeltemal te groot vir jou skoene poplap. In short just incase Google does not do the translation justice. Get over yourself dolla and grow up

I agree with this thought and response 100%

[Countess_Estefania]

On 9/5/2022 at 7:58 AM, Cimky said:

Mmmmmm as a bit of an old soul and Domme you might not agree with me and thats all fine and well.

Bdsm no matter where you fall under the umbrella is a give and take just like any other part of life overall sadly we live in a time of instant gratification and that created an idea of "me 1st" or "me only" and while I fully get the frustration of some of the newer members (kink overall not just here) we as older or more established kinksters need to remember some of what you go through as a newbie.

Sub and Dom frenzy is as real as your frustration for a moment remember back to when you just started driving you learned a new skill that opened a ton of new possibilities for you a new freedom but you still lacked the ability to clearly read situations meaning for more experience drivers you where one hell of a frustration on the road and we all tend to forget the awkward growing phases we go through in life.

People come out as kinksters at different stages of their lives meaning you cant use age to judge a person's knowledge or experience, platforms like these has the tags and options available for you to add your kinks and preferences to make it easier to find possible compatibility partners.

If you are going into dynamics with the idea of "I am the Domme so its all about me" you will pick up newbies like flies around a trash can simply because they dont know better yet.

The true power of the dynamic is in the hands of the submissive without the gift of submission all you are is a grumpy bitch no one can stand and no you are not alone in your way of thinking I have seen it plenty of times under newer doms its called Dom frenzy for a reason you are power hungry and all you are doing is chasing away the pray.

As for being able to see upfront what someone is into or what not, o hell yes!!! Maybe start with a proper greeting and ask if you can send your list of kinks and limits and take it from there in that way you know if you are compatibility or not from the get go.

And lastly asking other or rather ordering other Domme's to train submissives to treat you the way you want to be treated is called - voor op die donerse wa en heeltemal te groot vir jou skoene poplap. In short just incase Google does not do the translation justice. Get over yourself dolla and grow up

I agree with this thought and response 100%

[ThumperG]

On 9/10/2022 at 6:50 AM, Gigglesthru*** said:

Most people can not handle a true D/s relationship that is 24/7 365 . I have been in one and others called us crazy and extreme for how intense the power exchange was.

You got THAT RIGHT honey! They just don't make US off the line straight outta the factory anymore! 😜 Either you got it or you don't...and it wasn't easy but it many ways it was worth it. 😉💜😎

[Wo****]

Most of the messages I get, not all but most, are from submissive men. Who tell me what they want me to do to them/for them. I am very rarely asked what I want.

[Ha****]

Its a two way street.
As a well seasoned sub i can honestly tell you the sub is the one giving up everything but only for limited use and with conditions that are outlined before anything even begins.
A dom can push limits but cannot step over them otherwise whats the point?
Alot of trust is given to a dom and should be earnt not taken.
If im off track i apologise but thats what iv learnt and understood amongst other knowledge in that department.

[Deleted Member]

On 1/18/2023 at 12:11 PM, WolfeWitche said:

Most of the messages I get, not all but most, are from submissive men. Who tell me what they want me to do to them/for them. I am very rarely asked what I want.

After several years in the lifestyle as a switch/sub I have seen people who, on their page list that they are seeking a submissive. So, after sorting out location, listed link compatibility, age bracket, etc. I send a nice message simply saying we have the same interests, would they like to chat. It is polite, no dick pics, no vulgarity, no assumptions. 
the problem is that for 20 Dommes there are 40 different requirements for the introduction. As if we somehow instinctively know how this person wants to be approached- without an opportunity to hear what they have to say. Submissive s are playable by nature, but we are set up to fail like this is part of the game. Some want a dissertation on God knows what, and dismiss without reading. Others, just like being contacted so they can be snarky, with no intention of giving a guy a shot. 
This is bad for the community. The expectations are unrealistic. There is no way that we can learn a correct way when in reality there is no accepted way. 
mid a potential sub contacts you, have some grace. Be pleasant and courteous and try to understand most of us are just trying to meet someone we can grow a connection with. The first contacts are not an opportunity to pull the wings off. It is an opportunity for two people to test the waters for a future together. At the end of the day it is just a first contact for a first date.  

[Deleted Member]

**and some of us are typing on a phone that seems to change the spelling and words at random. Give a guy a break on typo.  Everyone has a phone with a mind of its own and a tiny keyboard.