ge**** Posted March 20, 2023 Posted March 20, 2023 28 minutes ago, SamSwitch66 said: After several years in the lifestyle as a switch/sub I have seen people who, on their page list that they are seeking a submissive. So, after sorting out location, listed link compatibility, age bracket, etc. I send a nice message simply saying we have the same interests, would they like to chat. It is polite, no dick pics, no vulgarity, no assumptions. the problem is that for 20 Dommes there are 40 different requirements for the introduction. As if we somehow instinctively know how this person wants to be approached- without an opportunity to hear what they have to say. Submissive s are playable by nature, but we are set up to fail like this is part of the game. Some want a dissertation on God knows what, and dismiss without reading. Others, just like being contacted so they can be snarky, with no intention of giving a guy a shot. This is bad for the community. The expectations are unrealistic. There is no way that we can learn a correct way when in reality there is no accepted way. mid a potential sub contacts you, have some grace. Be pleasant and courteous and try to understand most of us are just trying to meet someone we can grow a connection with. The first contacts are not an opportunity to pull the wings off. It is an opportunity for two people to test the waters for a future together. At the end of the day it is just a first contact for a first date. Whilst I hear what you are saying - I think there are two things you've not accounted for both of them kind of linked. . Firstly there's the thing of many women on sites like these have become somewhat jaded as a result of the number of messages they receive from men with totally incorrect expectations, and in some cases demands, and so the ladies immediately have their guards up. . Secondly there's the thing that you have with any "relationship" (whether that be kink or vanilla or anything else) type site where attraction and connection still come into things and play their part and if the lady concerned doesn't see that attraction based on the message and profile, then it doesn't matter how "nice" the message was, they're not going to respond or offer a chance - in some instances because it would be pointless, in others to prevent the initial "nice" message turning into a "not so nice" one in response to a rejection. . Remember also that the lady receiving the message didn't necessarily ask for one from the specific sender, and so is entirely their choice whether to respond or not. . Your point about knowing what an individual would expect to receive is definitely a valid one, but again is the nature of sites like this and why I very quickly learned that there are many better approaches to getting to know others beyond the send a blind message to a profile thing. . With regards to expectations being unrealistic - that also operates the other way round, and to a greater extent, with men on sites like this that have unrealistic expectations when it comes to meeting others.
Tearmybuttocks Posted March 25, 2023 Posted March 25, 2023 I kind of agree and disagree goddess nisha the reason y I say this is bcos iv always been asked for my likes and limits so I give them my likes limits but express it's not about my likes and say I'm there to serve the mistress needs only not mine and if it ends up that u get 1 or 2 of ur likes then that's a bonus for the sub xx
Tearmybuttocks Posted March 25, 2023 Posted March 25, 2023 Hi Gemini man I av to kind of disagree wiv u on ur last point as I'm a switch and contacted a sub last week I was a year over her max age she politely told me no I responded wiv a nice msg back she then thanked me for not taking offence so I replied it's nice to b nice and it cud only of been the right response from wen she was so polite andvm respectful I think it mostly comes down to wot kind of person u r
ge**** Posted March 25, 2023 Posted March 25, 2023 1 hour ago, Tearmybuttocks said: Hi Gemini man I av to kind of disagree wiv u on ur last point as I'm a switch and contacted a sub last week I was a year over her max age she politely told me no I responded wiv a nice msg back she then thanked me for not taking offence so I replied it's nice to b nice and it cud only of been the right response from wen she was so polite andvm respectful I think it mostly comes down to wot kind of person u r Oh absolutely that is how it *should* be - sadly though many men *do* go from nice to abusive in the space of two messages either side of a polite rejection and the problem the good ladies of sites like this have is they have no way of knowing when it's going to happen so take steps to prevent the possibility, which often is to not respond unless they have an initial interest.
ey**** Posted April 11, 2023 Posted April 11, 2023 14 minutes ago, athens989467 said: That's called topping from the bottom no it's not topping from the bottom would be trying to control or manage the Dominants action as a sub, while in scene. --- in this case it's just treating people as kink dispensers because it makes it sound like they're more interested in a list of kinks than getting to know the person
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