Nonverbal Signal Ideas

[po****]

me and one of my partners were discussing how to make things better for the next time we meet up. both of us aren't very big fans of making out but we did a lot last time because well your mouth is a little busy to talk when making out. we want to have a nonverbal signal of some kind. im thinking one for hard stop and one for "eh"/im bored. also i havent yet during play but sometimes do go fully nonverbal for small amounts of time. if anyone has advice about this or signal ideas please comment thx

[ey****]

tapping someone if hands are free is a good non verbal

as is dropping something (i.e. give something like a set of keys to hold and drop)

sometimes you don't need to overcomplicate having different things mean different things, any can mean "I need to tell you something"

[Ta****]

The 'tap out' as used in martial Arts.

[Pa****]

Usually tapping or opening and closing there hands several times if they are restrained.

[Pa****]

*their

[Da****]

My sub and I use a gag ball and bindings a lot in our scenes, we use the tap out methods well as I check in on her a lot, I ask her if she's ok

[Ge****]

For impact play, one that I have used with pretty good success with multiple play partners is a simple hand signal.

You’ve got 5 fingers, and people are pretty familiar with “rate this on a scale of 1-5” so…
1. “Hey, are you gonna do something with that or just stand there?”
2. “Okay, we’re getting there, but if you think that hurst you’re crazier than I thought”
3. This is the sweet spot. Not too much for where they are IN THE MOMENT, but not too light. The more you warm the skin up, the harder you end up having to play to keep them here…but it’s a great way to get a sense without having to verbally interact and mess with their headspace.
4. “F**k. You either need to change this or stop hitting me in the SAME F*****G SPOT” (insert Sadist giggle here… but yes, I do shift things when I see this)
5. This one is a check in and equivalent to a yellow. Usually I’ve found that they need something or that toy, in that spot, just isn’t what they need… move to the shoulders from the ass, for instance… but this is my “check-in” call.

The ONE CAUTION with these as with all safe words. The further your bottom gets into subspace, the less you can rely on these as indicative of harm. They start to get to a place where they get hyposensitive and you can cause more damage than you expect if you’re not paying attention. That’s not just this system… any safe word can be that way. When the brain shuts off, it shuts off. So know yourself, and ask ahead of time if you don’t know what their stopping point is. The last play partner I had this happen to cautioned me that she’d let me ***y her to a pulp without noticing, so if I drew ***, I needed to stop and check in. Sure enough… was using a meat tenderizer I had recently picked up for shits and giggles, and by the time I used it, she was flying high in subspace. Hitting her what I thought was rather hard with the spiked sides got a 2… whaling on her got her to a 3… and 5 minutes later I stopped when there were gorgeous patterns of *** on her ass. She had no idea I was hitting her that hard, but that was negotiated ahead of time to the point where she brought non-porous toys for *** play if we needed them. So… know your bottom. But once you do, zeroing in with this seems to work rather well.

[Deleted Member]

Double tap like tapping out in a cage fight.

If there will be periodic check-ins, using a numbered hand signal can work (1 = I’m good, 5 = full stop)

[Mz****]

I use a cat toy ball with a bell in it for when I go nonverbal during play. A shake is yellow need a break or lighten it up and a drop of the toy is full stop. Works great.

[po****]

OldWolf91 I'm so down for that idea and yes! it's very important to be proactive as subs get subbier. my pup tells me in zir subspace ze doesn't really know what No means but does still know what our safeword means

[Gigglesthru***]

Drop signal. Is where you drop something as a signal you are done or something wrong

[ju****]

I get really paranoid when doing drop signals or anything that can easily make noise, I have a lot of trauma around SA so I use a dog training clicker. The only time it makes a noise is if I push the button so it’s very deliberate and the amount of times pushed determines if it’s lighten up or full stop.