Job discretion and kink

[Deleted Member]

We are in 2022 and kink is still a widely discreet practice , given someone’s job , it is so hard to go public or attend events or munchies
For example I am a doctor working in the emergency department and I can easily be in so awkward situations with my colleagues and patients if I was ever seen in a kink related activity
What are your thoughts on this ? And how are you managing it
Thanks

[Da****]

Remember if you are at a Munch or somewhere that is kink related...they are there by choice too... and maybe it will give you something more to bond(pun intended) over...

[no****]

I think you can swap kink for just sex, sex is still discreet, so just be discreet... I'm pretty sure you can't be fired for being into kink, even if it's in a private setting with others involved. What can a patient do? Tell your boss and then what?

[lo****]

Personally I feel its no one else business, if you want to attend events or kink clubs, why shouldn't you, if your seen in somewhere like that, it would be by someone who is part of the same lifestyle, that said, I do struggle with things like this, so long as you don't bring your out of work lifestyle into work and it doesn't interfere with your work. I Personally don't see it a problem. I bet there's a lot more people into kinks and going to events then we would ever believe.

[Deleted Member]

I think given the massive shift in diversity that has happened that you should feel less inhibited about just being you in your job/society. If someone spies on you going to such events maybe they just like you? 😁

[ey****]

There are, sadly, a few jobs/careers which does exclude people from public kink

Obviously as is correct that if you see a co-worker or a colleague they are here for the same reason as you.  Generally it is unlikely to be an issue because even if you are in an industry where this would be a problem, then there is mutually assured discretion

While this is also true if it is your customers, clients, patients, etc there is a certain power shift here.   I remember a story about someone whose day job was a police officer and so going to a munch where the landlord and possible other people there knew what folk were therefore, gives different leverage.

Incidentally; it's interesting how many Pro Dommes are ex-NHS.  

[As****]

If your boss cares, bust their knee caps. Ezpz. It's discrimination at its core.

[ma****]

I feel this. I’m an ER nurse in school to be a doctor and have done multiple kink related photo shoots and such. Always nervous my name will be looked up and the cat will be out of the bag

[Re****]

If Bruce Jenner can become a women I feel like my local friendly doctor can get his kink on.

[oa****]

I’m a retired nurse and I had to be very careful about my kinks when I practiced because the nurse practice act had a provision that RN had to be good character. If not our license could be suspended based on immortality

[lo****]

Are you worried about public actions involving your kink or just being on the platform?

[Th****]

I feel this same worry, the internet can be a very unforgiving place these days. Usually what you do for work, if it’s public facing can create a lot of issues and problems.

I’m not ashamed of being a very sexual being, but I do have concerns about the work that I do being damaged if this side of my life gets shared publicly.

It’s hard living in the digital age because everyone wants nudes etc. without seeming to care that for some people, that pic that gets forwarded etc. can have very serious, career or job ending Ramifications.

[lo****]

Yes. It also really irks me when pics are demanded in the first few messages, when they are not offered in the profile, for reasons obviously.

Use your heads people. There's a LOT of rl reasons someone may not openly share pics.

Trying to push the issue, or shame me into sharing with bs like "are you scared?" gets you in the never going to happen because you can't respect a "no."

[Pez-S]

I work in retail and no one knows what I do for my personal life style. Frankly I'm of the mindset that if it was found out I'd just tell them I have my part in the alphabet identity too, don't be so unacceptable of my life style because you are demanding I accept yours. And if they find that judging me by my bedroom antics is acceptable then they must let me to view and critique theirs as well.

[ki****]

I mean if I was invited to an event I would go or able to go 🤭

[Deleted Member]

You'd feel awkward if seeing someone who's attending the very same event you are?

[Thorsman]

I keep my work and private life entirely separate. I'm not ashamed of what I'm interested in, so short of the parts of my life my work do legitimatley need to know about, the rest is none of their business. We're all adults.

[lo****]

11 hours ago, locketheart said:

Yes. It also really irks me when pics are demanded in the first few messages, when they are not offered in the profile, for reasons obviously.

Use your heads people. There's a LOT of rl reasons someone may not openly share pics.

Trying to push the issue, or shame me into sharing with bs like "are you scared?" gets you in the never going to happen because you can't respect a "no."

So much this!!! If you can’t be respectful and safe in a chat WTF would I want anything to do with you IRL

[ne****]

8 hours ago, Chris2221 said:

You'd feel awkward if seeing someone who's attending the very same event you are?

True lol

[ey****]

I think for all of us, having a private kink life is no problem - if people find out they don't really need to know the details

For *most* of us going to events, munches, etc. is not a problem if found out - but, sadly, there are some industries where this would be a problem.    Being discovered doing this by another co-worker is unlikely to be a problem because you have mutually-assured discretion.   So long as one doesn't decide to get clever - or - leave and try to use this as leverage.

But, yep, a lot of public service industries - NHS, Police, Civil Service, etc. have morality clauses - and the problem is not co-workers, but the public.  While folk in this thread are all kinky so can tell the difference, a lot of others don't, somewhat deliberately.

 

[Pe****]

It’s no one else’s business what you get up to in your private life.
Munches are casual socials in “normal” environments.
Just don’t play publicly at events that take pics that upload to their websites. If you want to, then wear something to hide your face.
And lastly, if you’re frightened of seeing someone you know, then what are they doing there in the first place?? The same as you, so stop worrying!!

[lo****]

There have literally been teachers fired for going on vacation to a place that has beaches, wearing a bikini, and having a few of their beach vacation pics on their social media.
Some jobs are a LOT worse than others in what you can/can't be seen doing.

[Deleted Member]

I don't have any problem saying I like BDSM, I even posted it on my Facebook when I talked about dating.

I wouldn't go to any BDSM get together for a number of reasons. 

[Thorsman]

On 9/13/2022 at 8:50 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

I think for all of us, having a private kink life is no problem - if people find out they don't really need to know the details

For *most* of us going to events, munches, etc. is not a problem if found out - but, sadly, there are some industries where this would be a problem.    Being discovered doing this by another co-worker is unlikely to be a problem because you have mutually-assured discretion.   So long as one doesn't decide to get clever - or - leave and try to use this as leverage.

But, yep, a lot of public service industries - NHS, Police, Civil Service, etc. have morality clauses - and the problem is not co-workers, but the public.  While folk in this thread are all kinky so can tell the difference, a lot of others don't, somewhat deliberately.

 

Sadly I have always worked within those said industries. It really irks me just how bad the double standards are. You can work tirelessly for the benefit of the wider public and still get ripped to shreds by the gutter press and the court of public opinion. The only plus side I can see is that, as much as i detest some of these TV shows and 50 shades etc, it's at least bringing kink into the norm. It's ok for people to watch some f****d up porn, but it's not ok for consenting adults to engage in kink? 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Phoenyx]

Reading these posts, I can't help but consider how fortuitous it is to be older.  My heavy involvement in The Scene came in the stone-age, pre-internet era  of the1990's.  Once a week, I would attend a BSDM event at a local underground nightclub.  Though such events usually lasted until 3:00 AM, I would try to duck-out just after Midnight.  I would explain that I needed to be at work in the morning---you know, having to pay those pesky bills.

I was in the electronic repair industry.  So, there were never any "morality" conflicts with my job.  My coworkers never knew of my "other" life, though a couple may have suspected.  Ironically, it was my fellow kinksters that gave me the most flack, for having to leave early, to deal with "work".

Around 1995, the repair shop where I worked, closed its doors, and I was laid-off.  After that, I went into business for myself.  No more potential conflicts.  I could stay up as late as I wanted.  Not long after, I was drafted to host a nightclub show.  Kink was now paying some of those bills!