Baby Dom Teaching Moment

[Deleted Member]

23 minutes ago, janieiswild said:

My personal fav is “oh. Is that it?” No matter the size 😭 it’ll crush them.

hahaha

[Do****]

Omg, demanding service in a mad or upset way. Almost temper tantrum like behavior and expecting to receive full subservient sub. An experienced dom would’ve used his words and attitude to make it clear on what he is wanting, and what he is getting, and what will happen if not.

[IsabelleMourning666]

People who ask me to indulge their kinks without trying to build rapport with me first is a surefire way to get ignored.

[Do****]

I also hate SUB (especially male subs) who Dm me selling themselves.”looking for a sissy sub to push around?” No. I’m looking for experienced kinksters who want to advocate for kink and kink education. We gotta be safe with one another man…

[Deleted Member]

10 hours ago, MasterAlex101 said:

Jesus just be snarky and say I don’t think I want such small d**k in my presence should make them back of if they have a big ego 😂

Unless they have a perfect cock and they know it 😅 the best cock ive had in over 10 years… and he knew it too 😅 his ego finally started turning me off and he released me after one of the best threesomes ive been in 🥵 now its been two months and im here 🤷🏻‍♀️

[St****]

This is a great thread. Thank you.

[br****]

Being told that I have to exactly do as they say within days of meeting them and give/be in a TPE with barely knowing them at all.

[Po****]

Rushing the vetting stage, complaining about having to respect a pre-discussed HARD limit or complaining that for a sub you have too many boundaries, and lack of communication to name a few.

[do****]

2 hours ago, Storyteller05 said:

This is a great thread. Thank you.

I appreciate it. I feel like we should have more education focused threads to help those who are new to the lifestyle.

[TheDeathRictus]

I may be a Dom but I can pass on comments I've had from my exes...
A common trend I've found is that women can be surprised to meet a considerate and fair Dom, and I've come across a lot them telling me that previous partners didn't check in during sex that things were okay and they got pushed beyond their limits etc. If a sub is clearly in ***, check how they're coping with it!
Also, talking about things before doing them, thus providing informed and clear consent.
Never assume, always discuss. This applies to kink and vanilla life and just makes a sub feel valued not mere objects for the Dom's pleasure

Hope no one minds me sharing my observations from past subs!

[lo****]

2 hours ago, Storyteller05 said:

This is a great thread. Thank you.

Agreed!! I feel a lot more supported in this community bc of this thread

[Deleted Member]

Subs are the ones that are in charge! I wish they would get a grip on that basic concept

[Deleted Member]

Doms jumping straight into 10+ rules after a week. Just because I said I like having rules doesn’t mean I’m going to submit instantaneously. Submission has to be earned even if I like submitting.

[Sk****]

Treating me like an object before I’ve consented to or vetted you to treat me like an object. 

[Pe****]

Going straight into sex talk.
Trying to tell me what to do immediately.
Demanding to be called Sir/Master/Daddy immediately.
No respect.
No real clue of the lifestyle 🙄

[lo****]

I hate when after a bit of talk, etc, we have a scene and then they assume they have my submission and try to lay a bunch of rules on me, maybe pop off with a "you have a master now."

Nope. One scene does not make you my Dom, and trying to assume so means you are unsafe and getting ignored now.

[Deleted Member]

Asking a question, then they don't answer, going around it, or a very general answer.

[Deleted Member]

Being convinced that they can make me like my limits by saying things like "Oh it's not that bad" or "I know you'd like it if I did it" 🚩🚩🚩

[CopperKnob]

In addition to the above;
Thinking that D/s is a one size fits all, the type that they've read about on the internet, the type where it's the Dom's role to "teach/educate" the sub, give the sub "tasks" and "rules," that all subs need "punishments," all punishments are the same for everyone and that D/s is only ever about sex.
It's so dull it's unbelievable.

[lo****]

5 hours ago, smileysub97 said:

Being convinced that they can make me like my limits by saying things like "Oh it's not that bad" or "I know you'd like it if I did it" 🚩🚩🚩

This!!!

[Ed****]

Took me a bit too long to realise that I'm allowed certain things from certain people. It's so important to talk things out before letting someone dom you

[ol****]

Assuming my submission means I have no say in the terms or how I am addressed in non-play conversations. I have also run across Doms who try to assert that because they identify as a Dom that I am already their sub. The Doms that have attempted to do this have also never approached prior, so that is often their first attempt to speak/message me. That is a red flag and immediate no for myself because it shows they will not respect my boundaries during play or everyday interactions.

[Di****]

Being to vulgar, pushy, or aggressive.

[Se****]

Lack of confidence but also overconfidence. 

An “it’s my way of the highway” attitude. 

Doms who claim to like a brat but can’t handle when I brat. 

Not realising I’m a woman with a mind of my own before anything else. 

Inability to have a discussion (about anything). 

Inability to take no for an answer or be gracious about it. 

Thinking that whining and pleading = dominance. 

Assuming that they’ll be able to make my body “work”. 

Using pet names without consent. 

 

[pa****]

Baby dom here. I appreciate this post! Thanks all you subs for sharing your experience