Issues with tibutes

[Pe****]

I disagree with the general idea of paying tribute to a mistress/ dom in general. Let me say it first that I know that some subs and Dom's will be into findom and this situation I am not going to include into this conversation. As well as professional doms that do it as a job

However when most Dom's require a tribute nowadays and I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure not all of them are doing it professionally or are doing it because of a findom dynamic.

I think these people doing it just for extra *** need go try and understand that some subs may be worried about scams. I've heard many stories about subs being scammed by people saying they would dominate them if they pay £50+ only to be blocked straight after

It's a difficult situation to be in since some Dom's are worried that the sub will just leave am if they get bored and the subs are worried the dom will scam them and not do anything.

I personally believe that the sub and dom should have fun when playing together and *** shouldn't come into that (again, the people into findom and pro doms don't count).

For pros and people into findom I think there is a big element of trust that should be built up first. Trust should be a big element in all BDSM, but especially in this situation

Let me know your thought and opinions, I'd love to hear from people that ask for tribute as well as subs that paid a tribute. Was it worth it? Have you been scammed? Why do you ask for tributes?

[ge****]

I don't think those asking for "tributes" are necessarily scammers - especially if they're up front about asking for one, which in my experience most are - ultimately those asking for tributes are effectively professionals really and as such as a submissive you make your choice whether you wish to go down that route or not.
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Scammers tend to be a little more circumspect and tempt you in with seeming "interest" before inviting you to make a payment in some form or other.
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Regardless of all that, if you keep your wits about you and don't let desperation kick in, it's easy to differentiate between lifestyle dominants looking for a relationship on some level, professional dominants and scammers.

[Deltaswitch]

Yeah I also disagree unless it's an agreed upon kink they share. I was scammed and blackmailed when I didnt hand over *** to a domme so now *** is my biggest turnoff. I also think it does generally ruin the whole experience of kink because for me it's about the connection and vulnerability of eachother and the trust that I enjoy the most. *** makes it seem all insincere and fake. Kink is fun and should be fun for everyone so demanding *** when it's not a job or kink ruins that. (God that was pent up for a while.. )

[Pe****]

8 minutes ago, Deltaswitch said:

Yeah I also disagree unless it's an agreed upon kink they share. I was scammed and blackmailed when I didnt hand over *** to a domme so now *** is my biggest turnoff. I also think it does generally ruin the whole experience of kink because for me it's about the connection and vulnerability of eachother and the trust that I enjoy the most. *** makes it seem all insincere and fake. Kink is fun and should be fun for everyone so demanding *** when it's not a job or kink ruins that. (God that was pent up for a while.. )

I fully agree! I think there is a lot of risk for a sub giving personal details (that reveal their identity if they wish to be anonymous) and losing out on ***. When the dom asking for *** will hopefully have just as much fun as the sub. Sex is meant to be fun, especially BDSM. If you want me to pay I might as well go on OF to someone that is a lot more trust worthy and I can do it more anonymously (if I want)

[Su****]

That is why as soon as someone askes me about a steam card or *** transfer, checks or *** orders in any way.. I just delete and block the person. If they are into findom, then when we meet for fun, no problem to accept cash in person. How can someone be so foolish to just transfer *** to someone that you never met, dont know, and is obviously trying to scam you. After all, if you are trying to dominate my body, or get dominated, what exact function does the *** play anyway?? 🤔🤔

[Pe****]

14 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

I don't think those asking for "tributes" are necessarily scammers - especially if they're up front about asking for one, which in my experience most are - ultimately those asking for tributes are effectively professionals really and as such as a submissive you make your choice whether you wish to go down that route or not.
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Scammers tend to be a little more circumspect and tempt you in with seeming "interest" before inviting you to make a payment in some form or other.
.
Regardless of all that, if you keep your wits about you and don't let desperation kick in, it's easy to differentiate between lifestyle dominants looking for a relationship on some level, professional dominants and scammers.

I 100% agree, not all people asking for tributes are scamming. But in my experience a lot of them are. As I said in the post, there are certain people genuinely into findom and there are people that do it professionally as a job.
Each to their own and if you think it's worth the risk. Definitely be careful though

[Deleted Member]

I could not agree more. I've been on sites where a Doms profile states clearly she doesn't expect *** then when she thinks you're hooked she comes up with tributes, paying for a dungeon 'to be safe' - just meet up socially first and judge whether you feel an element of trust. One I've recently picked up on is buying 'toys' which can cost hundreds of pounds. I'm a sub now but years ago I did dom but used household items as toys, they do the same job. One Mistress I had always said if they ask for payment of any kind then run - its a scam!

[Deleted Member]

To pay a tribute to someone you've not met in person can't be right.I've noticed more and more young ladies on here demanding *** using the odious term 'pay pigs'.When I attended munches before lock down I asked a few mistresses about this tribute thing,and they each said it was a new phenomenon they had not seen before the release of that film Grey ..... I see it like any relationship,albeit with a kinky flavour added.I see it as a big red flag if I get a demand for *** after hardly speaking to them.A tribute means respect gratitude for showing interest in a person,but surely only once you know that person over some time where you learn to trust that person.

[Du****]

I love being spoilt (not that it ever happens, but there it is 🤣) but I wouldn’t dream of asking. I hope that my sub, my lover, would derive pleasure from the act of choosing a gift or some other form of devotion, but it’s got to be his own decision entirely. As for asking for $$$ or bitcoin - I’m astonished that anyone falls for that. More *** than sense? No thank you, a big… wallet is a bonus but I prefer men who’ve got the smarts!

[Pe****]

42 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said:

I love being spoilt (not that it ever happens, but there it is 🤣) but I wouldn’t dream of asking. I hope that my sub, my lover, would derive pleasure from the act of choosing a gift or some other form of devotion, but it’s got to be his own decision entirely. As for asking for $$$ or bitcoin - I’m astonished that anyone falls for that. More *** than sense? No thank you, a big… wallet is a bonus but I prefer men who’ve got the smarts!

That is completely understandable! I feel like I would probably be more likely to give something to you than most other people in my experience. People that ask for it and then refuse to speak to me because I'm not willing to pay is crazy and destroys trust. I feel like the way you do it is a very smart, respectable and generally fair way of doing it

[De****]

Seems like a pretty sad development alright. I'm pretty new to kink and have been quite disappointed a few times seeing profiles of Dommes ( or at least, 'claim to be' Dommes) who seem great until ya read about the tribute or ya see the $.
I'm also curious, is this as prevalent with Doms?.......
As you say of course, excluding finDom/mes and professionals

[Deleted Member]

Switch here. This might bring different views, but hear me out. Also, only my experiences. I DON'T agree/like tributes, but some times, it would be nice if we were spoiled (flowers, expensive chocolates, cooking a nice meal, and eating together at a nice restaurant!) Letting you know there is alot of Submissives that don't do anything, and expect the Dominate to do everything since they are the "Dominate".... vacuum is mildly said. Half the time, it takes creativity... WORK. Some of your "beautiful" experiences are planned out before. It was really draining for me!! I don't mind doing the work, but expect to be spoiled from time to time.

[Pe****]

25 minutes ago, kiseu said:

Switch here. This might bring different views, but hear me out. Also, only my experiences. I DON'T agree/like tributes, but some times, it would be nice if we were spoiled (flowers, expensive chocolates, cooking a nice meal, and eating together at a nice restaurant!) Letting you know there is alot of Submissives that don't do anything, and expect the Dominate to do everything since they are the "Dominate".... vacuum is mildly said. Half the time, it takes creativity... WORK. Some of your "beautiful" experiences are planned out before. It was really draining for me!! I don't mind doing the work, but expect to be spoiled from time to time.

I can understand that. Thank you for sharing. I still don't think I could trust someone I'm meeting for the first time
However I might reconsider if I have gotten a reputation with a dom

[Deleted Member]

The whole paid sex world has been a disaster for men.

Women no longer want true connection.

Its only about *** now

What hurts the most is women want equal rights & equal pay, yet 95% cannot even be bothered to work hard for it

The amount of women begging you to subscribe to their onlyfans or to spend *** on them is crazy.

Greed has taken over everyone's minds

[Du****]

10 minutes ago, PleasureFreak69 said:

The whole paid sex world has been a disaster for men.

Women no longer want true connection.

Its only about *** now

What hurts the most is women want equal rights & equal pay, yet 95% cannot even be bothered to work hard for it

The amount of women begging you to subscribe to their onlyfans or to spend *** on them is crazy.

Greed has taken over everyone's minds

Paid sex work is not a “disaster for men”. And what point are you making, that women do work hard for their ***, or that they’re too lazy to work at all? Some women earn *** from sex work. Deal with it. Other women seek “true connections”. Some might even want you to “hit them up if you just want pure pleasure” - or is that okay for you but not okay for them? Hypocrite much?

[ge****]

14 minutes ago, PleasureFreak69 said:

The whole paid sex world has been a disaster for men.

Women no longer want true connection.

Its only about *** now

What hurts the most is women want equal rights & equal pay, yet 95% cannot even be bothered to work hard for it

The amount of women begging you to subscribe to their onlyfans or to spend *** on them is crazy.

Greed has taken over everyone's minds

Wow, just wow!! If you truly believe that then can I respectfully suggest you may want to rethink if you want to stand any chance of finding what you're looking for here.
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Got any data to back up your sweeping statements? "95% of women cannot even be bothered to work hard for it"? Really?!
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In several years of using sites like this and having met many wonderful ladies I can assure you there are plenty who want a connection and chemistry - but you're shot yourself right in the foot if you ever hope to find someone that does!!
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Yes, there are women out there that use sites like OnlyFans to make ***, but hardly a majority, and you know what? Those that do, good luck to them - no-one is forcing you to subscribe.

[Pe****]

38 minutes ago, PleasureFreak69 said:

The whole paid sex world has been a disaster for men.

Women no longer want true connection.

Its only about *** now

What hurts the most is women want equal rights & equal pay, yet 95% cannot even be bothered to work hard for it

The amount of women begging you to subscribe to their onlyfans or to spend *** on them is crazy.

Greed has taken over everyone's minds

People that do OF still put in a LOT of work. They are doing countless jobs in 1 with people not even realizing it. They are their own styalist, wardrobe team, editor, accountant (if they make enough) and so much more. This goes for both men and women. Why are you bringing up gender?

Paying for sex in itself isn't an issue as there is plenty of guys that also offer it. My main issue is Dom's (in general) asking for tributes without understanding some worries subs will have.

[Ar****]

Not going to lie, I saw the thread title and thought this was going to be a thread about something else... oops 😅🤦‍♂️

[Deleted Member]

I am all for people making a living as a sex worker, but I feel this line is getting really blurry these days. It’s important to be brutally honest up front and say that you will not partake in that type of “power” exchange. Keep it kinky, honest, and safe. 🤍

[Deleted Member]

58 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

Not going to lie, I saw the thread title and thought this was going to be a thread about something else... oops 😅🤦‍♂️

Good one Aranhis!😅😂🤣

[Im****]

I’ve considered paying tributes because I think I probably have no other options, but usually when I ask for proof the person is who say they are, (which I think is a fair ask) I usually get blocked 🤣

[ey****]

the concept of paying tribute as part of kink is not a new phenomenon.  Not by any stretch.   Flagellation was one of the most common activities in brothels in the 18th and 19th Century - hence the French often mocking about this in their literature of the time referring to 'the English vice'

But anyway.  If someone asks for cash on here it doesn't matter if they're fake or not, it's not permitted. End the conversation, hit report, problem solved.

If you are, for whatever reason, considering a paid session then how easy this is depends on where you are.  In the US one of the best ways is to visit a local house.   In the UK most Pro Mistresses have a website and are usually verified, using ID, on one site or another - clips4sale, OF, IWC, etc. etc. all require verification with government ID.

You can also use this to do a little research to see if their style is right for you.

But this is a done to death topic.  If you don't wish to pay tribute, then do not.  If you do not wish to be paid tribute, then do not accept it.  

 

[so****]

Fo real!!😂I prefer people who do BDSM purely because they genuinely love the lifestyle, NOT because they want *** for it. Nothing personal against pro-doms, but I hate the idea of something as intimate as a D/s relationship being treated like a business transaction. It irks me lol I prefer people who do it out of love for BDSM, not for their love/need of ***. But the logical counter argument is that sometimes people love the lifestyle so much, they choose to make a career out of it. So....🤷‍♂️lol

[Unknowing]

Thank you so much for this topic!! I am a fairly new sub and for about 2 years now off and on I have been looking for a mistress I have been scammed twice now. Most common is the gift card bul$s&it. 90% of the people I have spoken to demand tribute of some kind and because of that I have still yet to find a connection. It's a big problem for me because the thought of it happening again could turn me off of the whole idea possibility forever never getting to experience what I know has been locked up for 25 years, so I inform the mistress of that and boom done conversation.

I am a pleaser by nature and love to treat, pamper, spoil, and pleasure the person I'm with. That includes material, physical, and vocaly and would have no problem paying tribute face to face and would end up probably spending and giving alot more then asked if the chance ever came up.. so I am at a Loss in this because I can't pay tribut before I meet I have been tarnished and turn even cold when the mention of it comes up, I found myself expecting to hear it now and it's altered my attitude in general.. thanks again for the post it's the first time I really had a chance to speak on it except for my little bio status...

I guess if any mistresses read this and are in California and want to help change my preception I would love to hear from you..

[ey****]

"being scammed" and "paying tribute" are two entirely different things

scammers are a *** in the ass and pretty much no online platform is safe from them, especially those with a lean towards dating

running online scams is a big *** market - but a lot are successful because of male behaviour.   If you message everyone who appears to be local; this is both off-putting to 'genuine' people and like catnip to scammers.  If you're reaching out, they don't even have to do the work - so whenever a guy says that a majority of people they speak to are scammers - this usually tells me they are mass/cold messaging, not really vetting the people they reach out to, and just generally being desperate and too much in a hurry.

All things which turn off the people they want to attract, but play right into the scammers game.

1 hour ago, Unknowing said:

I guess if any mistresses read this and are in California and want to help change my preception I would love to hear from you..

So you then complain about scammers and write shit like this.

It's almost like you WANT to be scammed.

Cos here is the thing, it is unlikely anyone genuine is going to go "Oh, this guy who messages everyone wants someone, I will reach out" - while it also gives any scammers a big hook.  And before you know it is "Oh, I see you have had a bad time, I'm not like the other Mistresses, I'm real, I want you to be my sub..." and then "you just need to go this fake store and buy a collar, or book a dungeon, etc" 

Like. Stop. Take a deep breath.

 

Remember so far this is about what YOU want to experience, which doesn't benefit others.  If you are going to reach out to folk, do so with someone where a shared experience would benefit you both.  Or, yep, pay someone - but actually vet them.  Go to a local house or some such.