How does everyone feel about jealousy?

[ts****]

First off it’s very similar to a toddler not wanting to share their toy. It’s objectifying and demeaning. If you don’t trust your partner (which is indicated by jealousy), maybe you shouldn’t be with them. I am not an object, I choose to come home and wake up with you (hypothetically), be honored that this strong, independent woman chose that and do NOT get jealous that I might also spend time with other people.

[Deleted Member]

The difference between envy and jealousy is that envy is when one desires what another has. Jealousy is one’s *** of losing what they have to others.
Given how jealousy is defined, I would suggest that jealousy is a negative trait. It suggests possessiveness, insecurity, and obsession.
It can be taught through culture. Our media shows jealousy as a common trait, so maybe it rubs off on people. And then, some people just happen to be jealous people. Whatever the case may be, jealousy isn’t a trait that I envy, and we’d all be better off without it.

[Zi****]

Jealousy is a natural emotion and can be increased through emotional *** and by hurrying it when you feel it is justified. Admitting when you're jealous and having your partner acknowledge and accommodate that emotion to a reasonable degree is the only way to tame it. My main sub gets jealous very easily and I've told her it is perfectly ok to feel that way and if she ever feels that way all she has to do is let me know she's jealous and I'll focus on her. Open relationships are difficult because many cannot or will not address feelings of jealousy in their partner or themselves and even if they do they don't take any steps to address those feelings. If someone is flat out not open to having multiple partners then don't push the issue. Be it their moral convictions, values, or damage from previous relationships you're not going to convince them it's ok.

[SO****]

I’m NEVER Jealous!

[Deleted Member]

I think it depends, jealousy can be a negative emotion to feel and it can definitely ruin relationships but sometimes people just have jealousy because of traumatic issues from past relationships

[au****]

Jealousy is a hurt ego, assuming the other party is not lying and setting the jealous one up. There is no good to come from jealousy and also no good to come from manipulation. Both are toxic.

[lo****]

Acknowledging that you HAVE the feeling of jealousy, and then examining WHY you have it is healthy.

Is it because of how previous relationships happened? Are you feeling neglected in your current relationship? Dig into the WHY, and depending on what it is, work on it yourself, or try to work on it with your partner. A gentle "hey, this situation is making me feel a little jelly. Can we work on it a little to help me feel better about the situation?"

Making demands and trying to control or manipulate is bad. Occasionally feeling jealous is human nature. It takes a bit of emotional maturity to be able to handle it properly. Beating ourselves or each other up for a small spike of unease, because at its core that's what jealousy is, isn't going to help anyone grow.

[da****]

Jealousy is a very dangerous thing. It's not good for your relationships of any kind but it's seriously bad to have depending on your relationship in this lifestyle. You always have to keep that in check. If you don't it can make you into something your not or normally wouldn't be.

At the same time if you ever start to feel or feel jealous at any point and time do some examine of your self and the situation. Find out why and what caused it. Be sure to talk to your partner and explain it or just talk it out with them. Always remember though being jealous won't help you move closer together it actually causes you to move apart.

[ja****]

Overrated

[br****]

It's natural and it's ok talking about it getting it off ur chest helps I think jealousy is also insecurity if you feel as you lack or are not happy with urself that's a bad feeling but

[Sh****]

I think to some extent, jealousy is natural, the important thing is how you deal with it. Being open about your feelings and trusting that your partner will do the same is a sign of a healthy relationship. It’s only a problem if one or more parties can’t get past their jealousy.

[Ji****]

Someone said above jealousy is definitely derived by insecurity, but there is also a primal nature to it. Humans were not meant to be monogamous, and for the longest time we were not, but we did take permanent mates, at least the dead, and kept more than one to guaranteed the continuation of his jeans. But keeping that mate at times, he had to fight for, and that could be considered jealousy, and when it came to the mates, being the number one or being replaced would cause resentment, and that can be considered jealousy and it all derives from there.

[th****]

They didn’t fight over mates once we’d developed that big brain.
Women would often sleep with a number of men to ensure the best genes were kept alive.
The primal jealousy that creates insecurity is a positive thing because it encourages competition which advances the human race…
I think it became a gender-specific issue in the 60s and 70s when women took back control of their bodies and reproductive systems with the pill and Roe vs Wade.
Many men have struggled to evolve away from a patriarchal mindset - and so sex becomes a defining factor for them..

But I totally agree with your original point about we are not meant to be non-monogamous.

[Ji****]

I consider myself a study of the human. I’ve always wanted to know what makes people do the things they do and honestly he comes right down to what’s basically bread into us and in our jeans. Jealousy, unfortunately is just one of them that comes with it. Some more than others have that gene to have jealousy. I myself I’m not really a jealous person. I am a protective person by nature. I will fight for what my but I do not get jealous. If I’m with somebody and they wish to be with somebody else other than me that’s fine as long as this consensual, but if they do do it behind my back and cheat then I just let them go. I don’t get jealous if somebody hits on or flirts with the woman I’m with. I don’t get jealous if the woman I’m with flirts with another person, especially another male flirting is natural for some people. I’ve had just basic conversations with somebody, and everybody thought. I was flirting with them when I had no intent to do so it’s just natural. Jealousy is for others. Again, I think it comes right down to the nature, avoid the persons mindset is it subconsciously. If they are insecure, they do have a tendency to be more jealous than others that are more secure in themselves. And again that boils down to their primal nature. At least that’s my thoughts on jealousy. 

[BL****]

Our hearts, minds, and souls belong to each other. Our bodies are flesh. Cheap and immaterial. So long as I have absolute faith in your love and loyalty, I can share you, use you, and make every fleeting fantasy you or I have come true.

But trust and love is first.

[mo****]

It would be of no point to have jealousy in the heart or in the head. Truth is if they love u they love u if they don't they will usually be found in the arms of another. So why be jealous if they want another why would u want them?

[Tr****]

Polly people deal with Jealousy a lot … it’s a Natural Feeling it’s just the Matter IF u Can Share someone or Not

[WA****]

Jealousy is like a cancer that sh*t will eat you alive

[Mu****]

Jealousy causes real big problems, especially in a relationship.

[AG****]

Especially when your partner doesn't respect rules and boundaries that you set for them that's when the jealousy starts especially after you find out she cheated with someone that you trusted her not to sleep with yeah jealousy

[Sp****]

I think the answer is simpler and safer.
As with anything, if you don’t feel safer and it doesn’t bring you happiness or comfort….
Discuss it
Set boundaries
Or change it.
If your partner can’t work with that, it’s a good indication that’s not the relationship for you.

That said, many kinks push limits.
But if they don’t make you feel safe or good.
….

[Mu****]

I’m not necessarily a jealous person. If there’s something I’m not getting enough of I usually voice it out. I don’t like having people dictate my relationship with someone else. I am a poly anarchist which means I have no hierarchy. No one relationship holds more power or importance than another. I would never tell my partner they can’t do or see someone. Unless I feel it’s a safety concern, then boundaries need to be set. To keep not only us but other relationships safe. I seek out secure attachment figures. I feel no person can for fill my every wants, needs, and desires and vise versa. My partners are free to find others relationships with others who can give them what I can’t and vise versa. People are free to come into my life effortlessly and leave the same way. I have no use for jealousy because I’m secure in my own skin. I don’t own anyone an people are allowed to change their mind. We tend to outgrow each other an that’s ok. Rejection is never easy if a relationship doesn’t align with certain goals or I’m not getting my needs and wants met. If I’m not being valued or heard, or it’s a one sided situation. I’ll leave no one is perfect not every relationship is for me an im ok with that. At the end of the day I love an value myself. If someone is for my they’ll show it. An those are the relationships that I focus on. 

[AG****]

I hate to feel jealous I hate that my partner goes out whether I tell her she can go out or not I hate the fact that fucking because of that she has decided to break up with me and go out with the nice guy and my ex unicorn yeah I had the right to be jealous but I'm not allowed to say anything I'm not allowed to get mad I'm just supposed to sit here by myself and watch her walk out the door who wouldn't get jealous and I hate it

[at****]

Jealously is a Sick People

[at****]

It's a Sick Person