Asexuality & Kink

[JJ****]

I have yet to meet any fellow asexuals who possess kinks. Is there anyone out there who identifies this way? I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to discuss it online, and am always asked if the two contradict each other. I in turn explain the difference between sexual attraction and sexual desire/arousal.

[St****]

Yes they’re out there; however, very few that identify as a asexually. In the lifestyle I’ve met two.

[Deleted Member]

I am not ace, but my partner is. I know asexuality is a spectrum and while someone can be attracted to someone they may not feel sexually aroused. On the flip side, they may feel aroused, but not enjoy having certain types of sex or any sex at all. Please feel free to message me ❤️ Happy to chat

[Deleted Member]

It’s me! I’m the asexual kinky person ☺️

[Jeromiah]

I agree with you tbh. I mean I had kinks and felt arousal as a kid for fat people and having power but I never wanted to have sex as a kid lol. I just knew that fat people and being fat turned me on.

[no****]

Total contradiction, someone who is not a sexual person but has sexual kinks?

[Kr****]

I am demisexual and am very kinky. The two absolutely do not contradict each other. Asexuality is simply the inability to feel sexual attraction to another person. Asexuality is not sex repulsion or lack of sex drive. Asexuals CAN in fact enjoy sex!

[Deleted Member]

hello there! i identify as aspec and would be SO HAPPY to talk another kinky ace?? 🙂🤍💜🖤

[le****]

Never thought about it til I saw your question but definitely can relate.

[SamPup]

Yep I'm one of those asexual people, I'm a sub in pet play

[An****]

As a fellow asexual (i tend to be sex-indifferent, it's like eating bread) i am also very kinky!

[Ki****]

Yes, I think there are quite a few people that identify this way. I know some fetishists whose fetish is so strong, it has effectively replaced sex. I have a very good friend who is a virgin, who said he would have sex for a girl he likes, but he’s really not interested in it. What he really wants to do is cut her hair off. You may see more asexual people on specific fetish sites than general kink ones. 

[Deleted Member]

Im demisexual, so Im assuming that counts?

And yes I have kinks. Mostly about power dynamics.

[Deleted Member]

I think I am but not quite sure

[Ta****]

Such a good example of the diversity of sexuality. Re: the question: asexuality is different from demisexual —former is someone who does not feel connected sexually/have sexual desire (and may have other forms of desire associated w sexuality (great example above!). Demisexual folks need to feel connected to a partner before they feel sexual desire/attraction/etc.

[Deleted Member]

I think I might be ace how would I know for sure

[dl****]

Yes

[Tt****]

I'm asexual but enjoy kinks

[Deleted Member]

As an ace myself, I like to describe kinks as more of an interesting aesthetic or even a hobby in a creative retrospective!

[ma****]

I find it hard to explain in a way that other people understand. They basically just think I’m lying.

[Deleted Member]

I personally believe that asexuality does not exist, since that lack of desire is because what is needed to have it has not yet been found. The human mind is the most complex in the universe, so I really think there is a great lack of exploration in that many people do not feel normative sexual desires, and therefore they need to really explore what can make them grow that desire. Explore the situation, the temperature, the posture, the moment, the place, the area, what is done, how it is done, who it is done with, and a long and infinite number of possibilities. I have a text written in my profile that talks about this, which to summarize I would tell you that the human being explores only 0.1% of the possibilities of creating a sexual desire in his life, there are so many possibilities that most probably asexual people still do not They have discovered how to get excited, since they are not governed by normative arousal.

Edited October 13, 2022 by Deleted Member

[ey****]

4 hours ago, Master_BDSM_esp said:

I personally believe that asexuality does not exist, since that lack of desire is because what is needed to have it has not yet been found.

you know this and your other arguments are exactly the same used to say people aren't really gay/lesbian they just haven't found the right person

people who are asexual often really have tried more than is given credit for and are just not interested/excited in something - and there is nothing necessarily wrong or traumatic about that.

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

you know this and your other arguments are exactly the same used to say people aren't really gay/lesbian they just haven't found the right person

people who are asexual often really have tried more than is given credit for and are just not interested/excited in something - and there is nothing necessarily wrong or traumatic about that.

At NO time have I said that asexual people have mental problems, I would ask you please not to invent things that I have not said, thank you

[ca****]

I identify as aroace and bi. Aroace is my more "important" identity to me, since realizing that I'm not craving sex or a relationship has made me much more aware of what I truly want in those areas.

[Kl****]

I am on the asexual spectrum - identifying as grey ace. My sexual desire comes and goes. I don’t always find kink to be explicitly sexual. I have a play pal who I share certain kinks with that we don’t feel are sexual - it feels more like a hobby. I don’t always derive sexual pleasure from a kink scene nor do I find the goal to be sexual gratification. The pleasure I derive from a kink scene isn’t general sexual, and the goal isn’t sexual gratification - it’s what my body can handle, how I react, experimenting with different sensations etc.