My Dom is distant, what do I do?

[Anastasia0813]

I am a new sub and  I feel lost.  I m in an online dom/sub relationship.  At the beginning everything with my Dom was great.  He stated that he would never make me feel ignored, that even thought he didn’t have to do it, he would let me know if he was too busy so I didn’t felt hanging.  A week ago the communication in his part started lacking,  if I wrote he replied 20 minutes later, then 40 minutes later and now maybe a day passes by and then he reply's or write. I feel lost, abandoned and unwanted by my dom.  What can I do?

[Ch****]

Find an other one

[Deleted Member]

Being ignored is not cool, be direct, you have given yourself, submitted, a simple response is all that's required, hope you get your response soon.

[ey****]

it's time to sit down and chat.

he said he'd not make you feel ignored and this is how you feel.  You need to tell him that.  You don't need to be overly blunt, you can ask him if there is something going on which you should know about or is distracting him or otherwise occupying him.

But it may well be that the initial shine is just wearing off.

[ge****]

Talk to him not to us would be a good first step, explain how you're feeling, ask him openly and honestly if there's a reason for it, maybe his workload increased, maybe something else came up, or yeah maybe he's distancing himself for the reasons you're thinking, but unless you ask him you'll never know.
.
I would also prepare yourself for the worst, sadly the pattern you describe is not atypical of on-line relationships that often fall by the wayside over a period of time when that physical connection cannot be expressed

[Li****]

I wish I could tell you its all gonna be ok.....but i can't. He is foing3xactly what he stated he would not do, si he is fully aware. I'm afraid this is not unusual from online infatuation. Sometimes you can get lucky and build a somewhat longer term connection,!! That's the reality hun!

[ny****]

This is the exact pattern that many online Doms follow. They use you for a while - tell you everything you want to hear and get bored and move on to the next. Sometimes they have multiple “online” subs. But their level of caring rarely rises above using your for masturbation material. Then they create trust issues for beginning subs who actually want to explore a dynamic for real. It’s sad.

[Deleted Member]

Do as others suggested. A popular influencer said " You should not invest your time on how much you like the person, but how much the person Values you. Look at your Dom as a person. Re-read what you wrote. Does this speak Value?

[Anastasia0813]

3 hours ago, kiseu said:

Do as others suggested. A popular influencer said " You should not invest your time on how much you like the person, but how much the person Values you. Look at your Dom as a person. Re-read what you wrote. Does this speak Value?

Yes, Thanks!

[Deleted Member]

15 hours ago, Lilivorydoll said:

 I'm afraid this is not unusual from online infatuation. 

This is for me. Can you explain "not unusual from online infatuation"? You got me sweating. I hope, I don't become a st**ker in the future.🤔😅

[so****]

I'm sorry, that must suck so bad. But online dynamics (or long-distance relationships in general) are notoriously difficult to maintain. Bdsm just adds another layer of difficulty to an already sticky situation. If you absolutely must do online/long-distance, then my beat advice is to never get attached to the person until at least 6 months in. If everything stays smooth for 6 months & a decent level of trust is established, then you can begin to (slowly) open your heart. I've learned the hard way, so I speak from experience. In-person "IRL" dynamics/relationships are always preferred is at all possible. Hope everything works out & you feel better. Good luck🌹