Deleted Member Posted October 11, 2022 Posted October 11, 2022 2 minutes ago, simon_benson said: People talk too much. What do you mean by that? Communication is very very important within dynamics
Domusic_Man Posted October 11, 2022 Posted October 11, 2022 Do you have sex as part of the scene? Does he ejaculate? If so, he may need to recover agter the orgasm until he feels a sexual need again.
ge**** Posted October 12, 2022 Posted October 12, 2022 6 hours ago, Jeff_Leppard said: Do you have sex as part of the scene? Does he ejaculate? If so, he may need to recover agter the orgasm until he feels a sexual need again. Not really sure what bearing that has on the OP and her needs? If that is the case then it suggests it's all about him and that's plain wrong
simon_benson Posted October 12, 2022 Posted October 12, 2022 10 hours ago, GeorgieGirlLou said: What do you mean by that? Communication is very very important within dynamics I mean that a lot of microanalysis, particularly in group forums comes from boosting one's ego rather than gifting any real insight. Usually there is too much conjecture and assumption. Reading back I can see that almost all of you have judged the absent party and are using that as the basis for your advice. I also notice that a lot of fetish forums and this includes Fetlife tip toe around real life situations using politically correct rules. These right-and-wrong rules do not always apply to the world of BDSM.
ma**** Posted October 12, 2022 Posted October 12, 2022 He is not a Dom... that is not how a Dom behaves. He is not even a Top... even a Top would know to communicate after a scene and would make sure to check on you a few hours and days after a scene. He is someone using BDSM as a way of using others... unfortunately, there are many like him nowadays. I am sorry you've gone through that. You deserve do much better. There is a Dom out there for you who will respect, communicate and appreciate you. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.
Domusic_Man Posted October 12, 2022 Posted October 12, 2022 4 hours ago, gemini_man said: Not really sure what bearing that has on the OP and her needs? If that is the case then it suggests it's all about him and that's plain wrong Exactly. It does point that way to me.
ma**** Posted October 12, 2022 Posted October 12, 2022 1 hour ago, simon_benson said: I mean that a lot of microanalysis, particularly in group forums comes from boosting one's ego rather than gifting any real insight. Usually there is too much conjecture and assumption. Reading back I can see that almost all of you have judged the absent party and are using that as the basis for your advice. I also notice that a lot of fetish forums and this includes Fetlife tip toe around real life situations using politically correct rules. These right-and-wrong rules do not always apply to the world of BDSM. You are absolutely wrong. Communication is extremely important in any kind of relationship, but even more in BDSM ones. Unless you want un unhealthy BDSM relationship, then you should be able to communicate effectively and consistently.
simon_benson Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 All due respect Mary, I'm 20 years older than you and way much experience with 'Doms' both personally and professionally 24/7 365 days a week. It doesn't help the discussion if you call someone 'absolutely wrong'. You have an opinion, just like me. Lots of unhealthy relationships have excellent communication wthin them.
Deleted Member Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 Wednesday at 07:19 PM, simon_benson said: I mean that a lot of microanalysis, particularly in group forums comes from boosting one's ego rather than gifting any real insight. Usually there is too much conjecture and assumption. Reading back I can see that almost all of you have judged the absent party and are using that as the basis for your advice. I also notice that a lot of fetish forums and this includes Fetlife tip toe around real life situations using politically correct rules. These right-and-wrong rules do not always apply to the world of BDSM. You're so wrong. Nobody is judging, we've just been sharing our points of views as outsiders looking in. And what's wrong with being politically correct?
Deleted Member Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 14 hours ago, simon_benson said: All due respect Mary, I'm 20 years older than you and way much experience with 'Doms' both personally and professionally 24/7 365 days a week. It doesn't help the discussion if you call someone 'absolutely wrong'. You have an opinion, just like me. Lots of unhealthy relationships have excellent communication wthin them. What does your being 20 years older than her have anything to do with shit? I've met many people 20 years younger than myself who have more knowledge and maturity on some things than older people. From what I've observed of your comments, you're a narrow/closed minded person who chooses to remain wifully ignorant
Ae**** Posted October 26, 2022 Posted October 26, 2022 Wellllll Ikinda think it's usually part of domming to care for a subs needs... doesn't have to be, but that's the usual way. He may find the whole thing very intense and need to come down from it, and it's nothing more than that. But he needs to make sure you're be aware of this. And then you need to decide if you're happy with the whole arrangement.
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