I got ghosted by my dom

[Gr****]

Trust respect and communication are extremely important even if you are a sub. I'm sorry you were disrespected, I hope you can find healing and closure.

[Am****]

"Ghosting is the act of a child" a phrase heard often (for me at least and said often too).
I believe two (or more) adults communicating should be able to say to each other "I want to stop talking" then discuss it and part civilly.
Whilst it might not be a lot of comfort right now, moving forward make sure you bring it up early.
I occasionally make it a "Rule" with new people, instead of goatsing people it's  Gotye-ing. 

[se****]

11 hours ago, MrSadistDaddy said:

Going to victim shame here a little….perhaps not put yourself in a 24/7 TPE that is online….vet better, avoid frenzy…

TPE 24/7 should be face to face

It was a face to face relationship and we used to hang out every couple of days.

[MasterP-6801]

Someone you met and were 24/7 with just disappeared?

[Wo****]

1 hour ago, sexysub95 said:

It was a face to face relationship and we used to hang out every couple of days.

I’d go to them then and be like, the fuck is that?

[fr****]

If he never really did after care then I really wasn’t real. In other words he just wanted a service sub.

[ma****]

3 hours ago, sexysub95 said:

It was a face to face relationship and we used to hang out every couple of days.

How long did you vet him for before entering a D/s dynamic? How long were you in a D/s dynamic for before deciding to go into a M/s one?

[Bo****]

Do doms even care about subs? Most I meet just after one thing like the rest of mankind I meet, ugh 🤦‍♀️

[DeviantInside]

16 minutes ago, BornToBeBratty said:

Do doms even care about subs? Most I meet just after one thing like the rest of mankind I meet, ugh 🤦‍♀️

Doms (and subs) are just people (some just barely admittedly)… there are good and bad ones, ones that care, ones that don’t, ones that want care to be part of the experience, ones that don’t.

[Pr****]

41 minutes ago, BornToBeBratty said:

Do doms even care about subs? Most I meet just after one thing like the rest of mankind I meet, ugh 🤦‍♀️

Yes. Care and after care are important.

Its not just about that.

[Wo****]

41 minutes ago, BornToBeBratty said:

Do doms even care about subs? Most I meet just after one thing like the rest of mankind I meet, ugh 🤦‍♀️

let’s not over generalize, please.

[Sire_Osiris]

58 minutes ago, BornToBeBratty said:

Do doms even care about subs? Most I meet just after one thing like the rest of mankind I meet, ugh 🤦‍♀️

I care. Some members of humanity are more compassionate than others.

[Deleted Member]

Why are so many women so keen to be a sub / whatever to a stranger who screws them over. Don’t they spot the traits in people that give them away?

[Da****]

1 hour ago, BornToBeBratty said:

Do doms even care about subs? Most I meet just after one thing like the rest of mankind I meet, ugh 🤦‍♀️

I care about my sub and my past subs even now.. I think there are some that don't give a shit, but that most do care about their subs..

[Bo****]

2 hours ago, MrSadistDaddy said:

let’s not over generalize, please.

… so do they ? 😂

[Bo****]

2 hours ago, MrSadistDaddy said:

let’s not over generalize, please.

Personally just coming from my experience soooooo…. Let’s not try tell others what to do, eh? Let’s show people we care about their experiences.

[st****]

I’m really sorry about that I hope you find a better one this time 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[Wo****]

5 hours ago, BornToBeBratty said:

Personally just coming from my experience soooooo…. Let’s not try tell others what to do, eh? Let’s show people we care about their experiences.

you can start by not making it about yourself.

[Da****]

1 hour ago, MrSadistDaddy said:

you can start by not making it about yourself.

What are you talking about... she is talk from her experience and asking questions... first you tell her "NOT over generalize", when she takes things from her experience, you tell her to NOT make it about herself.. oh and BTW talking about something for one's experience is not making it about themselves... oh, but that's right you also went right to Victim shaming... now I'm not saying to coddle the OP, but a little compassion. You definitely know how to send mixed messages...

[CopperKnob]

9 hours ago, Alex10473 said:

Why are so many women so keen to be a sub / whatever to a stranger who screws them over. Don’t they spot the traits in people that give them away?

If you take the time to learn about the submissive mindset you'd understand that when they're new to the online scene that they are essentially flashing beacons to all undesirables who use the umbrella of D/s to get their kicks

[Wo****]

1 hour ago, Daddy-n-Paddy said:

What are you talking about... she is talk from her experience and asking questions... first you tell her "NOT over generalize", when she takes things from her experience, you tell her to NOT make it about herself.. oh and BTW talking about something for one's experience is not making it about themselves... oh, but that's right you also went right to Victim shaming... now I'm not saying to coddle the OP, but a little compassion. You definitely know how to send mixed messages...

you done? Sometimes you need tough love with these things, plenty of compassion for her to read in here. Know how many subs throw themselves at a Dom and then cry when that person hurts them and they never did any vetting and jumped in at a frenzy? Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink…

Now everything she said was just like the typical online (which my fault for assuming). The fact she’s seen this person raises lots of other questions…like where is he? If this was a face face 24/7 how does one disappear? Many questions.

———
“Do Doms even care about subs?” We all know the type of BS comment that is. It’s not a bash Dom discussion, it’s about her issue with a Dom and healing. You need to look at how you got to this situation and how to avoid it in the future too if you want to fully heal or you are doomed to fall into the same pitfalls as last.

Ya welcome.

[ey****]

12 minutes ago, MrSadistDaddy said:

Know how many subs throw themselves at a Dom and then cry when that person hurts them and they never did any vetting and jumped in at a frenzy? Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink…

the kinda problem - a lot of these subs are new, do not recognise it as a frenzy, don't really know much about vetting, nor PRICK

of course, the argument should be to educate themselves first

however, by counterbalance - a good Dominant should know this about subs and, as such, is knowingly taking advantage of them by agreeing to play.   

So, yeah, offer compassion that they were ***d, and then advice to help - how do new subs recognised a frenzy? How do they control it? How do they vet the Dominants? That, equally, with every good check in the world - there are still cases where someone will be abusive to any degree so how do we stop blaming the subs and start holding the Dominants to account?

[CopperKnob]

40 minutes ago, MrSadistDaddy said:

you done? Sometimes you need tough love with these things, plenty of compassion for her to read in here. Know how many subs throw themselves at a Dom and then cry when that person hurts them and they never did any vetting and jumped in at a frenzy? Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink…

Now everything she said was just like the typical online (which my fault for assuming). The fact she’s seen this person raises lots of other questions…like where is he? If this was a face face 24/7 how does one disappear? Many questions.

———
“Do Doms even care about subs?” We all know the type of BS comment that is. It’s not a bash Dom discussion, it’s about her issue with a Dom and healing. You need to look at how you got to this situation and how to avoid it in the future too if you want to fully heal or you are doomed to fall into the same pitfalls as last.

Ya welcome.

It's not about vetting. I vetted someone for 6mths and wasn't until I met them that something was off.
When you're new, no one approaches you and gives you a safety talk, no one say's these are the red flags to look for, these are the people to stay away from, here's what sub frenzy will do to your sanity.
Not unless you're lucky enough to have kinky friends who've disclosed that to you and have been able to educate you and make introductions to the local scene.
And yes, you can shout personal responsibility from the top of your lungs 24 hours a day and there's a truth to it. But, personal responsibility is a two way thing and reading articles and blogs isn't the same as feeling/experiencing.
There's a time and a place to make the comments you've done. It is not when someone is hurting. There's also a way to do it, which is tactfully and sensitively because right now, I'm guessing all you've achieved for the OP is feelings of shame and really, shame on you.
Rather than making the comments you have in relation to the OP, perhaps your time would be better spent speaking to the 'Doms' who treat subs this way, that way questions such as that from BornToBeBratty wouldn't be seen so frequently

[ma****]

12 hours ago, BornToBeBratty said:

Do doms even care about subs? Most I meet just after one thing like the rest of mankind I meet, ugh 🤦‍♀️

Then those are not Doms.

[ma****]

49 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

the kinda problem - a lot of these subs are new, do not recognise it as a frenzy, don't really know much about vetting, nor PRICK

of course, the argument should be to educate themselves first

however, by counterbalance - a good Dominant should know this about subs and, as such, is knowingly taking advantage of them by agreeing to play.   

So, yeah, offer compassion that they were ***d, and then advice to help - how do new subs recognised a frenzy? How do they control it? How do they vet the Dominants? That, equally, with every good check in the world - there are still cases where someone will be abusive to any degree so how do we stop blaming the subs and start holding the Dominants to account?

A good Dom doesn't take advantage of others. Only ***rs take advantage of others. So those who take advantage of others are not Doms in my book. They should not even be part of this community. Yet, there are many of those.

Also, there are many ("Doms" and subs) of those who start victim blaming when a (new) sub tries speaking up about a certain "Dom". So certain "Doms" can get away with crossing boundaries, not respecting the sub's "no", not being honest... they get away with those because they "know people" in the community and have a "reputation"... so anyone trying to talk about their unethical behaviour creates "drama".