Age filter?? Does this make me ageist?

[Erebus]

3 hours ago, Lady_Char said:

This! Stop giving me matches that are so much younger. We're not a match, and I haven't been able to find a way to tailor the matches so the ***ure is remotely useful to me. Matches for me exist between 35 and 50, but everyone's preferences are unique so let us set paramaters and then suggest ***ps.

I totally agree with this! Make it useful or put an off button on it!

[Thorsman]

I don't think it's ageist at all. You're not discriminating against somebody. Some people don't mind a big age gap. I keep getting suggested matches of people in their early 20's and that's something I'd find deeply uncomfortable. You're right to seek what you're comfortable with I think.

[lo****]

Yeah... someone half my age or more makes me feel a bit uncomfortable to think about them in any sexual way.

[Chloebear]

12 hours ago, omii said:

You really need some george carlin in your life, thank me later

Ageist is a word… it’s used when discrimination based on protected characteristics, in this case age.

[ey****]

So, yeah, ageism/ageist is both a word and a real problem - like a lot of isms it can sometimes be difficult to see clearly : but for example if we say a 24 year old with 6 years experience can't be a Dominant but a 40 year old with 2 can be, that's ageism.     If we have club or event, excluding those aimed a specific group, where you turn up and are turned away because you're 50, that's ageism.

But, if you have a preference that you don't want to date someone x older or x younger, that's not

just as it's not sexism if you only want to date women (or men)

[FETMOD-KF]

apologies all, some of this is getting a bit off topic, so I'm going to do some housekeeping to keep it relevant

[Je****]

2 minutes ago, FETMOD-KF said:

apologies all, some of this is getting a bit off topic, so I'm going to do some housekeeping to keep it relevant

Thank you! 8

[FETMOD-KF]

no problem, Sorry Jen.  Hopefully things will stay apt for the discussion

[Go****]

I think it comes down to maturity and what you like, I personally do not feel it’s ageist. I wouldn’t like to be dating those at the ages of my Daughters (who are over the age of 18) as I feel the maturity level is not there for me

[Je****]

Thank you. 
I am glad to know I am not ageist, I just feel uncomfy with ages especially online, it's hard to gage people and their mannerisms, and for me I do find it could be beneficial for some sort of viewing/interacting filter, as I previously mentioned, it can help those into older people / younger people to find each other easier, if their not blocked out by this feature. And saves the people unsuitable from time and effort wasted. 

 

I have but all given up on online dating searches for now. Perhaps I may find it a bit more better to navigate if I can only see my desired age range (and hopefully not in an all too far location) at some time in the future. Perhaps some day soon! 

I love peoples of all sorts of backgrounds, ages and locations, but for my dating process, I am much more strict on my own boundaries. I know I am not alone in this which provides some reassurance it's not just me being sensitive haha

[Je****]

1 minute ago, GoodGirl1003 said:

I think it comes down to maturity and what you like, I personally do not feel it’s ageist. I wouldn’t like to be dating those at the ages of my Daughters (who are over the age of 18) as I feel the maturity level is not there for me

This comes into play massively for me. The maturity level is so easy to see from a first message, and with younger people towards me thus far, maturity has been absent in 98% of my interactions. 

It's easier to gage someone in person I feel, body language, speak and mannerisms, which are not at all easy to spot online. That and a lot of people use filters on their pictures and many appear older or younger than they are, which I feel would make me so put off if I met someone and got off site terms, to learn they look 10 years younger than pics with a mindset to reflect this. This feels at times catfishy which is another main reason for me preferring real life in person dating and meets for now.

[Chloebear]

Something got removed that put my previous comment on a different context I think, which is that I think it’s the maturity more than the age, but finding that maturity in someone much younger is more unusual. I have had dynamics with younger people but choice and individual preference are what they are - there shouldn’t be obligation. Eg if there was no chemistry at all with someone you wouldn’t pursue even if they matched criteria… we just like what we like :)

[Erebus]

3 hours ago, Chloebear said:

Something got removed that put my previous comment on a different context I think, which is that I think it’s the maturity more than the age, but finding that maturity in someone much younger is more unusual. I have had dynamics with younger people but choice and individual preference are what they are - there shouldn’t be obligation. Eg if there was no chemistry at all with someone you wouldn’t pursue even if they matched criteria… we just like what we like :)

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head! Sometimes attraction can put you outside of your preferred age range but this is a rare thing! Not to say it couldn’t happen but as stated there has to be a level of maturity there as well as a form of attraction for it to work, but Jens point of view is no less valid and if experience of the past has meant that she has a firm stance on this then that is pure choice and not at all ageist!

[ey****]

yeah, I think for any kinda "I wouldn't normally, but..." it usually takes someone displaying characteristics and offering evidence that makes them an exception

rather than insisting you should make exceptions 

[La****]

Its not "-ist" to have preferences. Don't let anyone shame you into spending your time on them if you genuinely aren't interested.