New here - is there anyone real?

[Sa****]

There are real people, it can be really hard to find someone though. I ended up matching with someone in Canada and called it good.

[Deleted Member]

No one messages. It's lame.

[Deleted Member]

There are real women, but a lot of them are just here for attention and validation/ego points. You need security clearance, a DNA sample and a reference from your Mother just to get a phone number.

[Deleted Member]

I can't magic ppl up for you, but your about me needs work If you want replies. It says nothing about you except that you haven't really thought about this ...

[Cr****]

@johnd20I have to say @Lady_Char has a point.
You put such little effort into your profile (typical low effort profile style on here) and expecting to be swamped by replies isn’t realistic.

*That being said* I agree with you.

I wrote a full profile; took the BDSM test, and I have had replies from all TWO women of the 20 something txts I sent.

Ontop of that; this app doesn’t recognize the distance settings so I get pinged each ***y time someone “matches”. Expect they don’t match, it’s simply the BDSM test.
Pretty silly if they’re 3400km away!

So in spite of my search settings, I’m being matched with almost anyone who matches the bdsm test (not helpful) aaand @mistaluvaluva nailed it.

Heaps of women are looking for dopamine hits by getting likes.
This is feeling more like kinky-Insta than anything else.

Fetlife seems like it effectively does “community” way waaay better than Fet app is attempting to do.

[Si****]

Hello, I’m real

[Je****]

17 minutes ago, CreativeAussieHung said:

@johnd20I have to say @Lady_Char

I wrote a full profile; took the BDSM test, and I have had replies from all TWO women of the 20 something txts I sent.

 

Cant untag john and char (sorry)

Anyway, to quote you, you got two replies of the 20 you sent... 

Ever think this could be why?

 

Youre spam/ messaging 20 diff people. 

If someone messages me, i look at their profile. The bio and comments etc. Then the pics.

Then.... I look at their stats.

So, i feel all nice and suitable for someone, feeling great theyve messaged me. Then see theyve sent 20 other messages, (and perhaps got 2 replies), which shows me theyve just slung a line out to see what they catch. 

The excitement fades and i dont respond. 

 

Ive also made the first move by messaging someone first. But i do so carefully and due to looks, personality and profile info. 

 

I dont spam multiple men hoping for a hit. 

Youd be surprised how many people check this detail. 

Just food for thought.

 

I also disgree that this is a kinky inta.

If people are treating it this way, women going by the comments, then shame on them.

But isn't that matched in shame with the male majority (not all), using this as a site for a quick fuck?

 

You want it to be a community and fetish/bdsm specific, then help make that difference. Instead of slagging the site, seperate yourself from the Shameful ones and focus on those using the site for its intent....

 

 

[Cr****]

P.S.
There are two sides of this coin.

1 side is @Finally_Jenside. The attractive women perspective which is absolutely valid;

1) put the quality effort out there into the universe the kind that you wish to receive. And 2) patience.

The flip side of this coin is, it’s easy for the hotties like (aforementioned Finally_Jen) to say this because they are on the RECEIVING end of many many msgs with the Luxury of the right of refusal. They get the fun of picking/choosing.

It’s the men who (need to) do the lion’s share of the reaching out/making the first move.

Because our culture is set up this way. Women want to feel desired & pursued. So you need to put in the effort.
That simple.

Finally, BDSM comments above are on point. It’s clearly skewed/screwed because the percentages DON’T add up!!! Wtf.
And not clear definitions of terms. Meaning people are guess/answering. Hardly accurate.
Creating false reads/answers.


Soo…yeah.

Otherwise, Happy Friday you beautiful kinky f**kers!


Stay safe/healthy and dirty 😈✌️

[Erebus]

I felt like I should stand up and shout "I am Spartacus" but that would mean I'm Kirk Douglas and that would be fake!

This is a fetish site and not the movies, while it is good to meet people on here not everyone you like will find what you have to be of interest... My advice is to be active fill out your profile with what you want are looking for your limits and such also make sure you have some up to date pictures and give it some time, if you do like someone you see don't just say Hi how are you? Read their profile and if you find something of interest make it a talking point first impressions count for a lot! Sometimes you have to sell yourself to get ahead in life.

Also take your time here to learn more about the community and what it entails there are some great people here and some really good forum posts and resources too I guess what I'm saying is use yor time here wisely.

 

[Cr****]

32 minutes ago, Finally_Jen said:

Cant untag john and char (sorry)

Anyway, to quote you, you got two replies of the 20 you sent... 

Ever think this could be why?

 

Youre spam/ messaging 20 diff people. 

If someone messages me, i look at their profile. The bio and comments etc. Then the pics.

Then.... I look at their stats.

So, i feel all nice and suitable for someone, feeling great theyve messaged me. Then see theyve sent 20 other messages, (and perhaps got 2 replies), which shows me theyve just slung a line out to see what they catch. 

The excitement fades and i dont respond. 

 

Ive also made the first move by messaging someone first. But i do so carefully and due to looks, personality and profile info. 

 

I dont spam multiple men hoping for a hit. 

Youd be surprised how many people check this detail. 

Just food for thought.

 

I also disgree that this is a kinky inta.

If people are treating it this way, women going by the comments, then shame on them.

But isn't that matched in shame with the male majority (not all), using this as a site for a quick fuck?

 

You want it to be a community and fetish/bdsm specific, then help make that difference. Instead of slagging the site, seperate yourself from the Shameful ones and focus on those using the site for its intent....

 

 

@Finally_JenI take on what you say.

However as the man doing the lion’s share of the reaching out… on a site full of hundreds / thousands… I don’t think 20 something messages *over the few weeks duration I have been on this app* is particularly dramatic.
.
Why make assumptions I’m “spamming”?
.
You sound like someone who doesn’t normally assume.
Please don’t assume I take a copy/paste approach.
.
I read each profile Carefully because I don’t want to waste my time or theirs.
.
As I mentioned in my other comment; you are the other side of the coin, with receiving quantities of msgs and having the right of refusal:
The luxury of being a beautiful looking human.
.
Therefore You don’t need to pursue because you can relax and BE pursued.
This should be a judgement free space and I don’t appreciate being judged (you don’t know all the facts) for sending 20 *individually crafted msgs.
. Because just like irl…men do the lion’s share of the asking out. Obv there’s exceptions to the rule. I’m simply articulating the majority rule of thumb.
.
To be clear, I’m not complaining. I’m just acknowledging the factors/variables in this tricky online universe

[Deleted Member]

I put a lot of effort into my profile and get very few messages, which is ... about right. I want someone to message me because we are suited, not because I am right age(ish) and right location(ish) and alive (ish). I would prefer one quality message from someone I might like to connect with over a dozen "Hey, how you doing?" messages that hit me up because I was next on the list. 

[Erebus]

10 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

I put a lot of effort into my profile and get very few messages, which is ... about right. I want someone to message me because we are suited, not because I am right age(ish) and right location(ish) and alive (ish). I would prefer one quality message from someone I might like to connect with over a dozen "Hey, how you doing?" messages that hit me up because I was next on the list. 

You made some good points Char I have travelled far and wide to find possible matches sometimes I have needed to put in the extra effort to find what I am looking for! And sometimes those matches haven't been from DM's or lists is been because I am active!

Aslo you're never next on the list Char you're always first on the list for a lot of us!

Edited December 9, 2022 by Erebus
Incorrect use of a noun

[Deleted Member]

There are real people here. But the ratio is a handful to a 100. Lots of people just trying to get into your DMs so they can request *** for your time. You’ll have a lot of weeds to sift through to find a flower here for sure. Good luck.

[Be****]

It's that way for all of us.. stick with it learn more about what your interested in.

[Alistair1974]

There's vast amounts of people with mental health issues here in my opinion looking to hurt / be hurt rather than understanding the psychology.. the dopamine release.. the cortisol release.. etc. Lots are using here to basically self harm and utilising humans as their new props.

There's also inordinate amounts of people who are wanting to make *** and thus they've no interest in anything else.

I've been here for 2 years at least on and off.. met one person who messed me about for 6 hours after having travelled to them, before they finally met me face to face, and had arranged to meet someone else but noticed that their location changed the day of the meet to 100miles south of their original destination.

Persistence might overcome resistance. You can write a spectacular monologue as an opening missive and get instantly blocked, but there's loads of posts here saying just a hi (like you would in a bar) is rude (it's not.. it's an acknowledgment of interest which allows for a response of the same content or more of they wish in order to convey..yes I'm interested in communication) so for the most part you can't win.

Honestly, the dynamic here is terrible in my experience. But, there's always that chance that someone might actually be doing exactly the same as you, looking for that spark, and they might respond.
I've had hundreds of "people" pass by my profile (although mysteriously the number quadruples when you're not a paid member so can't see them, instead of if you redeem points/pay... It's almost like an algorithm dictates.. in order to get you to pay... But that's just wild speculation and in no way is reflected by the statistics..oh wait!) and almost invariably when I message I get no reply / blocked even though they've been the one visiting my profile so they must have seen something they liked.. (unless of course.. they're spam profiles generated to.. oh wait no.. conspiracy theory again lol)

Basically.. it's a case of endure and work out if the prospect of the reward is worth the wait. A 3 paragraph message greeted by a monosyllabic 4 word reply tends to dishearten even the most patient of people.

There also the fact that, men doubtless outnumber lasses here 50-1 and thus, inboxes are rammed. Simple logistics suggest that most lasses probably won't give much time to a message that doesn't initially jump out at her because there's 49 more that might. That's understandable. So to be honest, the best tool in this sadly superficial platform is probably a good profile picture and an eye catching name. Everything else, is simply garnish!

But hey, what do I know?

[bl****]

Keep your head up play boi, it will happen. Just give it time. I’m sure you’ll find someone soon

[ra****]

Well, personal experience, a couple of years on, off. I did. speak to quite a few people (ladies and couples), I have met a few of them as well (ladies).. so yeah, keep your head above the water and as the guy above mentioned (great comment btw), do inbox people with something worthy of one’s time..

[Je****]

1 hour ago, CreativeAussieHung said:

@Finally_JenI take on what you say.

However as the man doing the lion’s share of the reaching out… on a site full of hundreds / thousands… I don’t think 20 something messages *over the few weeks duration I have been on this app* is particularly dramatic.
.
Why make assumptions I’m “spamming”?
.
You sound like someone who doesn’t normally assume.
Please don’t assume I take a copy/paste approach.
.
I read each profile Carefully because I don’t want to waste my time or theirs.
.
As I mentioned in my other comment; you are the other side of the coin, with receiving quantities of msgs and having the right of refusal:
The luxury of being a beautiful looking human.
.
Therefore You don’t need to pursue because you can relax and BE pursued.
This should be a judgement free space and I don’t appreciate being judged (you don’t know all the facts) for sending 20 *individually crafted msgs.
. Because just like irl…men do the lion’s share of the asking out. Obv there’s exceptions to the rule. I’m simply articulating the majority rule of thumb.
.
To be clear, I’m not complaining. I’m just acknowledging the factors/variables in this tricky online universe

Sorry. I am not assuming. I shall explain. 

 

Its my lingo. 

When i say "spam", i just mean send out a lot. 

I dont mean spamming one person over and over or necessarily copy and paste jobs. Thats my bad for using that word. 

 

But its genuinely from the heart.

If a guy messages me and i check out his WHOLE profile and i see for example, hes sent 20 messages and received one or two, it is an instant turn off for me. I feel like a number in a pot, not like there was something worth contacting me for. 

 

I thank you for the compliment on my looks. 

Please dont be mistaken though. I do put a lot of effort into a lot of my photos and put up the ones i think look good and i am proud of.

But this is by no means for me to sit and wait to be persued. 

I am firm in equal treatment on this site. If i see someone i think is nice, they get my attention, undivided until i know im not for them. I do not message one or two or three etc at the same time. Perhaps im a stickler for my habits.

But the photos and stuff i do have up, has led me to get a lot of attention. Some is nice. But the majority of it is copy and paste, messaged aswell as 40 others, or just sleazy disrespectful smut.

This id why i always investigate someones profile so i know about them before ive ever even spoke to them. See what they're like how they do a profile out, their photo style and technique aswell as how they introduce themselves. The stats show a lot about someone. If someone messages me saying "wow youre stunning i just had to message as you're the one who caught my eye here for **** reason and (for example) horror movies and same food tastes" , so i go and check them out and see theyve sent 78 messages with one reply... Takes the excitement out of it for me. 

If they message and said "im contacting some of the people on here who i share interest with and enjoy this this and this, i hope you don't mind if we chat as we might be compatible", id not let go of the idea of them upon checking all that i had, out.

Does that make sense? 

Not against you personally x

[CopperKnob]

Patience grasshopper, you joined 48hrs ago

[Deleted Member]

I question that myself. 🙂

[TxFrank]

There are plenty of real ppl on here. Met my Domme/mate here. We're coming up on a year together.

[Deleted Member]

Same here. been trying to find ladies close to where I live, but some of them have been inactive for months

[Ch****]

I feel the whole thing is fake. Even if you chat for days they tend to dissappear. So many posts about it

[ey****]

I can confirm, everyone is actually AI generated.  It's just you, OP, who is real

you sussed the ruse. 

[Vu****]

You will join us, we are borg.