Subs with Personality ?

[na****]

1 hour ago, MrCasey69 said:

Given that you use the term maternal, I would suggest that you are more of a natural Mommy domme than simply a Domme and this is a very different dynamic to regular Ds. I'm a Daddy dom myself so I completely relate. While I can enjoy pure Ds dynamics they tend to be shorter term and much more focused on play than any kind of emotional bond. I much prefer the paternal / nurturing elements that come with DDlg.
So maybe you need to be more specific in your search and look for subs who are into the Cg-l / MDlb dynamic rather than pure Ds?

Did the lady specify what type of Domme she is? Or did I miss that part!

[na****]

3 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Like anyone.   Time and patience.

Everyone has kinda problems with attracting those unsuited to their needs

But, speaking wholly on the problem you have.  There is a lot of problems with guys who have potential submissive fantasies who, ultimately, just want someone to help them wank to them.

In essence, there's actually nothing wrong with that (I mean, it's largely something which keeps the whole Pro side so active)  but of course on a form of personal level it is frustrating when you want a relationship and all that goes with it, when you're presented with folk who just want to cum and go (in more ways than one)

I think just in conversations, when it becomes clear that the person is more interested in fantasies and fetishes than you as such that depending on how much you're otherwise enjoying the conversation to point them back on track or to end the conversation : it saves wasting your time if the other person is seemingly just after gratification. 

It is also worth, in addition to online, getting involved in a local community because while they aren't necessarily 'better' you know the people there are real and making an effort to go out and meet people - that's again something applicable to anyone and any dynamic

Is that part of the problem. The site is more of a wanking forum than a realistic one? Out of interest

[Deleted Member]

There are good male Subs, but only 3 I knew, and rest were like you described. 2 was only into the bedroom. All were a gentleman. With any site (vanilla and fetish), you have to watch out for ALL wanking types or getting off in an actual meetings. Like others said "You need to be watchful what direction the chats are going, and end it if it's going towards wanking". I could not be a Domme, because too much work. It would be important he grows into a beautiful, happy Sunshine... alot of responsibilities.

[El****]

Unfortunately many people want a quick satisfaction with no emotions included. Personally I like to keep the things balanced. I know extremes on both ends personally and I cannot imagine subbing or domming either one of them.
One would be too annoying and the other too selfish and... bland. Like you mentioned. Without any personality. So for me I completely relate and wish you best of luck to find the perfectly balanced partner to play with.

[na****]

Saturday at 07:32 AM, Lezfemdom said:

Trying to find a submissive that you can create a dynamic with that establishes for both your needs. Sometimes it takes an enormous amount of time trying to find that person.

I wouldn’t say it was tedious. Of course there are those that choose not to take the time to get to know you. Particularly when they assume they have a hierarchal position in the topic of BDSM any the kink scene on all platforms. Including Fet. Of course they don’t. That in its self is tedious, very infact.
Yes. It takes time and effort to get to know someone in any relationship or dynamic and yes for some weeks leading you down the garden path. However, when it clicks, it can be amazing 💖😉

[Puppy6411]

On 12/10/2022 at 7:26 AM, naughtynat said:

How so? I’m not sure that makes sense

To make the mental connection with someone first; not hope it develops later

[nuovacane]

On 12/10/2022 at 4:54 AM, naughtynat said:

Unfortunately it’s particularly difficult on here to find many that are sapiosexual.

Connection is key it can be a long, emotional process and then there are so many flakes. Talk the talk. Can’t walk the walk. I feel you sweet 💖

A connection is so important and so is a sub (or Dom/me) with personality. The mental and emotional connection with your partner(s) is so horny. Seeing a woman in tight bondage look up with that look of pleasure and subspace and you just know you are being kinky together is so wonderful. And having a sub with no personality would be so boring. Obviously they need to behave the rules or get severely punished (within contracted limits)

[ThumperG]

On 12/10/2022 at 2:40 AM, slut4moms said:

Thank you all for the advice and honesty ! Appreciate it :)) those of us who are younger in the bdsm community definitely can benefit from wiser and more experienced voices !!

Sweetheart... I've been around since the late 1980's ok? Let me assure you that you are not crazy nor are you imagining what you're seeing here. Everything you are feeling is valid and it is much harder in some ways. So that's all I have to say about that. The search continues, chin up honey,  wishing you luck and much happiness in your encounters.

XOXO 😉💜😎