Questions from a Sub

[co****]

I’m new to this app and wonder how easy it is to find someone to connect with? As I sub i find it difficult to find a female who is willing to dominate me. Will I have any luck?

[Deleted Member]

I can tell you that it is nigh on impossible even for a female sub especially if you are a bit older or have specific wants or needs.
That said people still. Play the lottery against almost impossible odds... So live in hope and Good Luck.

[saintsaltysynz]

I’m having a really difficult time finding someone that wants to discuss things.
Seems that one must play games and get caught up in drama

[ge****]

It's possible to make connections here but not necessarily "easy" - ultimately it comes down to you and several key factors:
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Approach - find an approach to the site that works for you, there are many ways to do so beyond just blindly sending messages to others in the hope of a response - getting involved in the forums, the chat rooms, or using the site to find local kink events to attend are all good examples. Don't make your use of the site solely about meeting others either.
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Attitude - adopt a positive one at all times, be thoughtful and considerate towards others, accept that you won't be for everyone, in fact there are more people you won't be for than you will be.
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Expectations - set them correctly, don't expect people to want to meet you or even reply to you
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Profile - write a well written profile that outlines who you are, what you're looking for both of the site and in a partner. Show that you're knowledgeable about kink and what you're looking for and aren't just someone who arrived here via a porn site and has thought you'd like to try it.
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Pics - include some pics that give people an idea of you, they don't have to be face pics or identifiable ones but keep them decent, most people don't want to see your c**k from the off!!
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None of the above will guarantee you a thing, but they will all enhance your experience of the site.

[Deleted Member]

yeah...i guess there is so much competition, very hard.

[ey****]

if you rely on "luck" - then, nope you won't get very far.

if you have patience, maybe - but also it's understand that globally there are roughly (give or take a few either way) ZERO women who are sitting around waiting for a random stranger to decide he fancies being a sub so she can do all his kinks for him.

So, here or anywhere else it really comes about showing why you are a good partner to have.

[saintsaltysynz]

Respect the feedback and I will continue to do what I’m doing because it who I am and yes you’re correct it takes time to get to know someone. And I know I will always find someone who wants what I want

[Ja****]

Yeah you’re not gonna find a female who wants to dominate you on this app. I’ve been looking for a while now. Good luck tho

[Ja****]

In my experience 99% of women on this app are looking for a dom

[ge****]

30 minutes ago, JakeF said:

Yeah you’re not gonna find a female who wants to dominate you on this app. I’ve been looking for a while now. Good luck tho

You've been here 2 days which is no time at all - or were you expecting instant gratification?
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In addition to the points I made further up the other thing that is needed is patience - things will rarely happen overnight on sites like this

[4R****]

1 hour ago, saintsaltysynz said:

Seems that one must play games and get caught up in drama

Why would you want to do either of those things?

1 hour ago, saintsaltysynz said:

I’m having a really difficult time finding someone that wants to discuss things.

Just be you, interact with people, maybe get involved in the forums of the chat and let people get to know you. 

[Ja****]

19 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

You've been here 2 days which is no time at all - or were you expecting instant gratification?
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In addition to the points I made further up the other thing that is needed is patience - things will rarely happen overnight on sites like this

Fair I’m pretty new to this app but I’ve bought premium and been able to view hundreds of profiles at this point and have not found a single dom girl. It’s gotten to the point where the only new women I find are 100+ miles from me and I have yet to find one who is dom. But I’m new so what do I know I guess.

[4R****]

5 minutes ago, JakeF said:

Fair I’m pretty new to this app but I’ve bought premium and been able to view hundreds of profiles at this point and have not found a single dom girl. It’s gotten to the point where the only new women I find are 100+ miles from me and I have yet to find one who is dom. But I’m new so what do I know I guess.

It takes time, lots and lots of time. Especially if you want quality. Set your filters to what you're looking for and see what comes along. But being active on the site and getting involved in discussions goes a long way to showing people who you are, I can't emphasise that enough. 

[ge****]

14 minutes ago, JakeF said:

Fair I’m pretty new to this app but I’ve bought premium and been able to view hundreds of profiles at this point and have not found a single dom girl. It’s gotten to the point where the only new women I find are 100+ miles from me and I have yet to find one who is dom. But I’m new so what do I know I guess.

Have you adjusted your settings to look for dominant women in your area? Because I just did a search based on your stated location with filters set to "dominant" and got around 30 matching results.
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Now they may not all be active or looking for your type - but they're out there for sure.
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May also help if your profile reflects that you're submissive - currently it doesn't read that way at all.

[Ja****]

6 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Have you adjusted your settings to look for dominant women in your area? Because I just did a search based on your stated location with filters set to "dominant" and got around 30 matching results.
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Now they may not all be active or looking for your type - but they're out there for sure.
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May also help if your profile reflects that you're submissive - currently it doesn't read that way at all.

It showed that I was submissive for the past two days. But I have recently taken the test again and my results have changed and since then like u have noticed I have gotten much more results. Even among the women on this app who say they are submissive the response rate is somewhat low as most people on this app in my experience are not active very often

[Ca****]

Yes. Just keep it up. Good luck!

[ge****]

1 hour ago, JakeF said:

It showed that I was submissive for the past two days. But I have recently taken the test again and my results have changed and since then like u have noticed I have gotten much more results. Even among the women on this app who say they are submissive the response rate is somewhat low as most people on this app in my experience are not active very often

Whilst the test *can* be a guide - it's not definitive either - whether you are dominant, submissive or switch largely needs to come from within and through self-understanding.
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As for response rates that's as much to do with an interest in you and your profile/messages as whether other users are active or not.
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Take a look at my first post on this thread for some pointers which may be of use.

[Cr****]

Have been on the app for a while, and literally found nothing. The only dommes that respond are the ones that are looking for tributes or pay pigs. Nothing casual/fun, fwb, ltr, or a connection aside from the content of my pockets. Have responded to ads, sent messages after browsing profiles but only have a long list of unresponded mail. Only had one that came to me by chance in the past year that was interested but was 150 miles away. Dressing up my profile description didn't make too much a difference, smallbio, large bio, no bio... it's a tossup between too many variables and finding someone that you like that is active & responds well to all of them is just down to luck, can't strategise it from my experience. Reading the comments is funny though, some say it's not about luck and others say 'good luck' lol. I say be patient and get lucky.

[Deleted Member]

Most men on here, and most other apps, are simply marks.

[Deleted Member]

As a "can be dominate", really take the advises, and NOT behave anyway you want. Also, there has to be Compability and Attraction for us. I think alot of men don't remind themselves, and start saying "All women are fakes". Lasrly, you have to remember, there's alot of W**kers looking for the same things. How are you going to SHOW us you are different from the W**kers?....

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, Pheonix2786 said:

I can tell you that it is nigh on impossible even for a female sub especially if you are a bit older or have specific wants or needs.
That said people still. Play the lottery against almost impossible odds... So live in hope and Good Luck.

You are very on point, and blessed with small feet.😁😘💖

Edited January 4, 2023 by Deleted Member
Misspellings

[Deleted Member]

Quote

Kiseu : “How are you going to SHOW us you are different from the W**kers?....”

Pay attention Dom’s.
What Kiseu is eluding to, is that the male Dom’s far outnumber the female subs, which garners them the ability to be more selective; in essence, demand the Dom’s to peacock for them.

For us, as the pool is significantly smaller, in turn, if we make getting a sub our top priority, we must lower our standards.

My advice, specifically to younger Dom’s, control your biology, stay on you purpose, and never bring on a sub that you can’t just as easily be happy to see them go.

[xp****]

6 hours ago, JakeF said:

Yeah you’re not gonna find a female who wants to dominate you on this app. I’ve been looking for a while now. Good luck tho

JakeF, it can happen. I was approached by a delightful young domme within a couple of dats of downloading the app.
Problem is I'm not really sub. 😕

[BigPolly]

Being on here or within the BDSM is a case of ‘slowly slowly catchy monkey.’
People come on here expecting it to be like a dating app but kink is much more complex. Not only do you need to find someone you connect with sexually but you need to find someone who matches your kinks, rules, morals etc
Then to add an extra complication into the mix, for many of us our kinks change or evolve over time.
Can it be done…yes but it’s unlikely to happen in a matter of days or weeks.
Some of us get lucky but some of us have also had to work our way through some Dom’s/subs to find who were looking for.
I know of several who have found their Dom/sub/partner on this app
Don’t give up, have patience but also have fun along the way.
Things go wrong but that’s ok, don’t let it put you off. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off & use those times as experiences which you’ll learn by & to discover who you are.
If males out number females then be that male who stands out without being pushy, be that male who makes others laugh & be that male who’s respectful without being a pushover.
Don’t let negativity dampen what you’re looking for because it is out there

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Xavier1978 said:

Pay attention Dom’s.
What Kiseu is eluding to, is that the male Dom’s far outnumber the female subs, which garners them the ability to be more selective; in essence, demand the Dom’s to peacock for them.

For us, as the pool is significantly smaller, in turn, if we make getting a sub our top priority, we must lower our standards.

I mean. Firstly, this was a thread from a sub male asking about Dominant females, not really about sub men.

There was no real allusion to peacock. The problem is that particularly on dating sites there might be a lot of men; but most are, ahem, low standard.

The main thing that a lot of men fail to realise in the choices of women (something that is also true for the choices of men) is that "I pick none" is also an option.

Men often forget that they can search, find 100 people in the area... and... well... message none of them. Think that no one in my search looks like what I am interested in in the minute (or would be interested in me) and wait.

While everyone needs a level of realism, no one should lower their standards.  I mean, imagine being in a relationship with someone and them turning around to you and say "I lowered my standards to be with you" - not exactly romance and the stone.

 

In simple. If you do find someone you are genuinely interested in.  How can you show that you are at least worth a conversation?  That's pretty much it.