Loss

[Charms]

@PixieDust ty for your kind words if you ever wish to chat my pms are open.

 

It was my mom who diagnosed mine. I was visiting my mom when it happened.  I told my mom to stop trying to diagnose me. She was training to be a nurse. I said she was wrong . But a trip to the hospital proved my mom right. I'm extremely glad my mom used not her nurse instinct but her mom 1s one. Mom's know when there child is ill.

 

I'm do glad @lil-monster was able to diagnose you and I agree she's sexy in a nurse  outfit. Iv meet the awesome  lady a few times. She also gives amazing hugs.

[PixieDust]

On 1/17/2023 at 5:33 AM, Beefybutt said:

I lost my father to covid late October befor last. He was my life long hero my inspiration my shelter my joy nobody has ever made me laugh like he did he loved me so thoroughly I never doubted for one second his love for me my older siblings my mom my aunts and uncles my grand parents he had such a personal connection with each and every one of us each relationship was so special and he devoted his time to us all so none of us ever felt like we weren't getting enough of him or maybe I just got so much of his time since I was "daddy's little helper" but no each one is my siblings say the same thing that dad devoted so much time to them I don't understand how he did it none of us ever felt left out but I hadn't seen him in a year first I moved all the way across Washington state than he moved to Florida I missed him terribly and now he's been dead a year and I know their is no end to how badly I miss him I will never see my papa in this life I am not religious so when it comes to the after life I just don't know I want to believe I'll see him again but I am a woman of science and their is no way to scientifically prove their is an after life so I'm just lost I miss him so much I think about him all the time I wear his ashes around my neck and his guitar pick on my wrist I badly want to talk about him about all of this but my family doesn't include me in their grieving circles I have always ***ed my father was the only family member that loved me and now I know those ***s were absolutely founded they don't include me when they get together they don't include me in group texts I know because one time they accidently included me and they said such awful things about me but as horrible as it felt to read them I was glad I finally had proof so.... I'm grieving my father's untimely passing and I'm grieving my entire family for they are dead to me..... I don't know where to go from here I feel absolutely stuck like I'm sinking in a muddy bog and I know I know it will reach my head and when it's covered it I will be dead but not physically mentally emotionally and some other way I can't put into words but I feel it happening I would scream out for help but I know nobodys coming

Thank you for sharing🙏🏼 and I am also so sorry for your losses🤗

I can empathise on how much you miss your dad and sending big hugs 🤗🤗 I am also sorry about your family. 🤗🤗

I think it is lovely how you wear his guitar pick and his ashes so that they are close to you.

and I really hope in time it doesn't hurt so much. 💜

 

 

[Deleted Member]

Loss, I think, is unfortunately an intrinsic part of life. It will never make it easier to live with, and doesn't offer any comfort, but I think personal development and growth is more often than not achieved through our responses to loss and grief. Suffering has long been the underpinning necessity to emotional progression. 

One of my most difficult times was when my ex girlfriend committed *** a month after we broke up. It was 5 years ago now but I still feel the guilt and ***. She had BPD and I had chronic depression, I think by some twisted logic we both thought we could fix eachother but we couldn't. Going to her funeral alone, knowing that there were people there who blamed me, was one of the most important things I've ever done. 

I thought that I would never see light again after that day, and I had a huge breakdown following it, culminating in an arrest for property damage when I had gotten blind drunk. 

The most memorable piece of advice I got throughout that time was "if it didn't happen to you, it would've happened to someone else", and that was enormous in helping me reframe my loss. I was lucky enough to have spent time with that incredible girl, we had an absolute blast, and for all the lows, I could never regret popping up to her on Facebook. I also knew that I was strong enough to get through it, and that it was a *** and agony so raw and so real, that I would never even wish it on my worst enemy, so in that sense, I was glad it happened to me rather than someone else. 

Thanks for starting this thread, it's not often I get to talk in depth about my experience, but it's always cathartic. I hope that you are okay, and that the losses you have faced do not keep you down, because life is far too short to spend it stricken with grief and mourning (as I'm sure those we have all lost would say too) 

 

 

 

Edited January 21, 2023 by Deleted Member
Spelling correction

[Deleted Member]

22 minutes ago, MrMechanic said:

Loss, I think, is unfortunately an intrinsic part of life. It will never make it easier to live with, and doesn't offer any comfort, but I think personal development and growth is more often than not achieved through our responses to loss and grief. Suffering has long been the underpinning necessity to emotional progression. 

One of my most difficult times was when my ex girlfriend committed *** a month after we broke up. It was 5 years ago now but I still feel the guilt and ***. She had BPD and I had chronic depression, I think by some twisted logic we both thought we could fix eachother but we couldn't. Going to her funeral alone, knowing that there were people there who blamed me, was one of the most important things I've ever done. 

I thought that I would never see light again after that day, and I had a huge breakdown following it, culminating in an arrest for property damage when I had gotten blind drunk. 

The most memorable piece of advice I got throughout that time was "if it didn't happen to you, it would've happened to someone else", and that was enormous in helping me reframe my loss. I was lucky enough to have spent time with that incredible girl, we had an absolute blast, and for all the lows, I could never regret popping up to her on Facebook. I also knew that I was strong enough to get through it, and that it was a *** and agony so raw and so real, that I would never even wish it on my worst enemy, so in that sense, I was glad it happened to me rather than someone else. 

Thanks for starting this thread, it's not often I get to talk in depth about my experience, but it's always cathartic. I hope that you are okay, and that the losses you have faced do not keep you down, because life is far too short to spend it stricken with grief and mourning (as I'm sure those we have all lost would say too) 

 

 

 

Thank you for sharing 🤗 I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't really express anything I could say, I can totally understand how the ***, the aftermath drove you. You had the pleasure to be both in each others lives at that point in time, and could share joy together. Those memories will never be forgotten.

[ca****]

Had me in tears Pixie.....   maybe I could say I was 'lost' for words.

reading thru it and the concept of loss itself churns up so much 'stuff'.

 

So some quick reactiosn to it....

".....so I hope you can forgive me if this reads a little clunky and is somewhat long winded. "   Absolutely no need to ask for forgiveness  
As someone who struggles with words and long posts etc..  you are one of the few who have a way of stating things, putting virtual pen to virtual paper in a way that I can generally follow/ understand and make sense of,  maybe because often I can relate the the subject..

I did something similar in my counselling.... producing a timeline and 'the' trauma aspects of my life in respect to certain anxieties and other 'stuff' .... took a long time and although it wasnt specifically about 'loss' for me...   it did include a lot of loss... and that is where we all have our own experiences of it ( i expect)

 

Brilliant post Pixie - truly open and and very powerpful... just reading the replies is a real good eye opener....

And yeah we all lose things and we all find things as well...   as some have said this is life!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, lonelybeard said:

Thank you for sharing 🤗 I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't really express anything I could say, I can totally understand how the ***, the aftermath drove you. You had the pleasure to be both in each others lives at that point in time, and could share joy together. Those memories will never be forgotten.

Thanks for the kind words. Heartache does a lot of funny things to a person

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, MrMechanic said:

Thanks for the kind words. Heartache does a lot of funny things to a person

😊 It moulds us and shapes us, right or wrong,  we all have to deal with loss in different ways, just talking about it as we all have on here, can be cathartic in so many ways. It may never solve, fix our loss, that's a part of you as a person, it's not something that be cured by bandaid, but talking and empathy, it's like a kind of release, a download if you will, to other people, who will all take a little part of your story, it will mould and shape them too, make them who they are, based on your thoughts as a person, a fellow human, we all deep down intrinsically care for our kin, our brothers and ***s, it's what makes our world so fucking amazing! 

 

Hugs 🤗

[PixieDust]

3 hours ago, MrMechanic said:

Loss, I think, is unfortunately an intrinsic part of life. It will never make it easier to live with, and doesn't offer any comfort, but I think personal development and growth is more often than not achieved through our responses to loss and grief. Suffering has long been the underpinning necessity to emotional progression. 

One of my most difficult times was when my ex girlfriend committed *** a month after we broke up. It was 5 years ago now but I still feel the guilt and ***. She had BPD and I had chronic depression, I think by some twisted logic we both thought we could fix eachother but we couldn't. Going to her funeral alone, knowing that there were people there who blamed me, was one of the most important things I've ever done. 

I thought that I would never see light again after that day, and I had a huge breakdown following it, culminating in an arrest for property damage when I had gotten blind drunk. 

The most memorable piece of advice I got throughout that time was "if it didn't happen to you, it would've happened to someone else", and that was enormous in helping me reframe my loss. I was lucky enough to have spent time with that incredible girl, we had an absolute blast, and for all the lows, I could never regret popping up to her on Facebook. I also knew that I was strong enough to get through it, and that it was a *** and agony so raw and so real, that I would never even wish it on my worst enemy, so in that sense, I was glad it happened to me rather than someone else. 

Thanks for starting this thread, it's not often I get to talk in depth about my experience, but it's always cathartic. I hope that you are okay, and that the losses you have faced do not keep you down, because life is far too short to spend it stricken with grief and mourning (as I'm sure those we have all lost would say too) 

Thank you for sharing🙏🏼 and I am so sorry for your loss🤗

I think you're right, sadly loss is an intrinsic part of life but through it we grow.  I am grateful that everyone including yourself has felt comfortable in sharing their losses, its not an easy subject by any means.    I really hope just by giving loss a voice,  it has helped in some small way.

There are not enough words I could possibly say to lessen the losses that everyone has experienced and I wish I could find the perfect words for all.......but I do have a quote that I have often looked back at....it was from a Winnie the Pooh card that was given to me  "You may be gone from my sight  but your never gone from my heart" 

As for me I am certainly doing better than I was thank you, I hope you are doing ok as well 💜

[Deleted Member]

It is always tough to talk about loss. The first six weeks are so raw, the anger can consume you. After thst time period it is good to find a great listener, to talk about good times and regrets. I take faith that they were in my life and will always be part of me.