A BDSM relationship worth having is worth working for!

[silver779]

A recent discussion in the chat room triggered a lot of thoughts for me about an issue i find myself even struggling with.

A chatter had figuratively drawn a line in the sand and said...this wont be allowed with him....and not this and not that and definitely NOT that.

 

And so it all brought me to contemplate the fact that it isnt easy for any of us to find the ideal BDSM relationship.   Those of us with partners will probably have tales to recount of having looked and searched to find what they wanted.  And some of us may even talk about having almost given up on finding  that just right kinky soulmate.

And then life happens when you are not looking.   You will age.   Everyone else will age.   And age just brings limitations with it.  Physical and sometimes mental.

Age also brings changes.  And the point is to always have as much quality to life as you can have at any given moment.

There is much talk in chat about BDSM relationships and what they are like.    yadda yadda  different from vanilla.   yadda yadda  trust and then there is respect.   but the soul of these relationships can still be love for many of us.

So when time goes by and life changes for us and that special loved one its easy to get angry and worry about what time you might still have left to enjoy kinky play with that special person.  Joints wear out, diabetes and heart issues all take their toll and suddenly Dominants have sore shoulders, bad knees or their cocks just dont get hard anymore.   and Subs might have sore joints, and not be able to bend quite like they used to.   and memory issues can make things even worse.  

at any given point one of us is going to have to face ...and yes ACCEPT that things will now change and be always different from what it used to be.   Acceptance is a huge concept that can be hard to grapple with.   Accept that   a sore shoulder means you cant be spanked like it used to be.  You might have to step up and self spank and let the other person watch. remember they are accepting changes too. and may be grateful to get to watch and still enjoy your high that you get from spanking even tho its at your own hand.   of course that other person may coach you and help you be more effective. and yes some ppl really dont like cucks..but lets be honest.....you dont have to go the extreme of cucking...but you can accept the situation and allow the other person to still have pleasure and fun and in the process you too can try to adapt and find pleasure  and hopefully some fun in their pleasure.

having a relationship in which there is terrific chemistry and maybe deep love is worth having.  its also worth working for. anything worth having is worth working for.  Balls eventually may sag, cocks will not work so well, tits will sagg, and vaginas may not get as wet as they once were.   but true love that gets strengthened by trust and respect is worth the effort to nurture and adapt and find ways to work on and keep alive.  No one looks forward to be thrown away  so why throw away someone you really deeply have cared about.

 

[Deleted Member]

I love this silver, kinky is timeless and this perspective is definitely something for us all to bare in mind, thank you 🔥

[ey****]

There's stuff you've touched on which ties in with stuff I've said.   Don't be the person sat on a hospital bed regretting things you didn't do.   

It is difficult to find an ideal relationship - that's true - it's quite important to know which compromises you are and aren't willing to make : but, kinda prempt your regrets to do something about them while you can - and whether that is "being active", self improvement - whatever.  Just... do it.

[Cruxdom]

Marvelous insight dear friend I’m awestruck

[Carnelian2]

Beautifully written, absolutely beautiful 

[Deleted Member]

I can empathise with a lot of this. Age does change us but not akways for the worst. Physically strength does diminish but experience grows. A friend of mine is fond of saying "work with the clay you have".

[silver779]

Littlefellow thank you for sharing the phrase..work with the clay you have...that is so appropriate !

[Deleted Member]

Silver that is a stunning insight into mine and I suspect quite a few others in here’s lives

So well put I almost thought you were writing a description of me !

I may be 65 but my head and heart will never stop being 45 I still strive to do my best and would hope any sub worth her collar would respect that ! 

Its come the the point where my recreational drug of choice is Ibuprofen, am I ready to hang up my hat ? Am I hell !!!

 

[Deleted Member]

Such a well written piece silver. Informative, insightful and perceptive. Thank you. 

[Deleted Member]

Silver that's such a great of forthright piece and so so true. It's about allowing your self and your partner to fulfilled without judgment and build on the honestly , trust and communication that is so valuable . We see daily the throw away metality of some .the metality of I'm not getting what I want I'll move on as apposed to putting in the work the commitment and the time required .

[sissy_petra_uk_slut]

Very well written, and it does touch home. Everything we cherish has to be worked on, and time does tick by.

[Deleted Member]

I dont think anyone could have put it better and i agree with you, I dont want to lie on a hospital bed and keep thinking about my what ifs, I want to find someone who is so good for me that I dont have any what ifs. 

[yourdomme007]

You're right, if you have passion for it...you have to work for it and show your commitment towards it.

[silver779]

For sure....because you could stand to reap what you sow.  The possibilities are endless!

[Deleted Member]

Well written Silver 💚 and so very true. As a woman in my 50s I can relate to everything you say. Let this be a lesson to the younger ones who send messages stating that age is only a number. It most certainly is not!!

[silver779]

jinx thats a whole other issue as well. many ppl do say ...age is just a number...but when one of You hits this point in life ....nothing is just a number any more. have seen subs devastated because they lost their Master or Mistress. For many they seem to have a hard time going through the motions of normal life let along deal with the hole in their kink life. its not easy to accept it and finally get to the point where YOu realize that....You will take whatever time You get to have with them. You will cherish whatever you have left with them. the is a saying that says something about ...i may not have been your first but i want to be your last. and ive accepted that i can be fine with being His last new love. i will be honored if when He and i part that i was the one held strongly in His heart and that i held His hand and felt the last of His life leave this place. there again...what is it worth to YOU?

[Deleted Member]

Beautiful words Silver xx

[Edwina343]

I love your though tsunami on age. Have read it 3 or 4 times I can relate to it quite a bit. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Eddie

[Edwina343]

You truely have a beautiful mind and I love you for that.  I hope you have a long and beautiful life.  Eddie 

[silver779]

thank You everyone for your terrific responses!   

 

[Deleted Member]

Two words stand out to me in that well worded quote, terrific chemistry, without that, there's nothing

[Deleted Member]

Well said