Deleted Member Posted January 16, 2023 Posted January 16, 2023 4 minutes ago, sassngrace said: It is imperative that it is remembered there is always more to the story. I may elaborate to give more I am sorry OP if this is not what I saw. You did write "received several texts that Broke Every inkling of Trust".
sa**** Posted January 16, 2023 Author Posted January 16, 2023 To briefly add a bit more color, this was not his first time, although it was the first time for me. He said "I will try to look pretty for you" which is not what was asked. He challenged me and I failed. Duly noted. There have been more messages in an attempt to contact and at this time I shall not engage
sa**** Posted January 16, 2023 Author Posted January 16, 2023 2 minutes ago, kiseu said: I am sorry OP if this is not what I saw. You did write "received several texts that Broke Every inkling of Trust". No worries. This app keeps freezing so I have to write in a note then copy and paste. I shall return later.
4R**** Posted January 17, 2023 Posted January 17, 2023 This whole scenario screams red flags to me. On 1/16/2023 at 6:19 AM, sassngrace said: Today, after a year of talking, I had a first encounter with someone that was to submit to me. You were talking for a year but had never met. What happened to meeting in a vanilla setting first to ensure your safety? On 1/16/2023 at 6:19 AM, sassngrace said: The door was to be left unlocked for my entrance. OK, that sounds hot but reality check: He was asked to put himself in a *** position with no protection from someone else walking in and attacking him. On the flip side, you were walking into a place for the first time, having never met him and not knowing if he had set up a load of people to attack you as soon as you walked in - thus putting yourself in danger. On 1/16/2023 at 6:19 AM, sassngrace said: Instead, he decides to ad lib the encounter and do what he wants. He failed to follow directions given to him prior to meeting you for the first time - ha he followed your directions.......... See the point above! On 1/16/2023 at 6:19 AM, sassngrace said: this is where I failed as the dominant. Yes you did - but not for the reasons you've mentioned..... You put yourself and the person you were playing with at serious risk of harm. When things were not going as you had wanted, you should have stopped everything. Forget that he didn't follow your directions, perhaps you didn't communicate them properly. But fact is, you were not in control of the situation and as the "Top" you should have the foresight to call a halt when you recognise you've lost control. On 1/16/2023 at 6:19 AM, sassngrace said: I provide direction to move away from the wall. Nope - just nope - The scene should have stopped. On 1/16/2023 at 6:19 AM, sassngrace said: I kept the encounter brief and left once I was satisfied enough to get the first between us out of the way. Keeping it brief is probably the best thing you could have done. Actually not going into that situation in the first place would have been better. On 1/16/2023 at 6:19 AM, sassngrace said: Later, I received several texts that broke every inkling of trust. Lucky escape on your part then wasn't it???? On 1/16/2023 at 6:19 AM, sassngrace said: The level of disappointment makes me want to return with my paddle to provide punishment. That is clearly a statement made out of frustration which is further evidence that you are not thinking clearly or responding rationally. On 1/16/2023 at 6:19 AM, sassngrace said: Unfortunately, with this disaster of a first encounter together I don't believe I will be returning. Good - because this whole thing sounds toxic! Sorry to be so blunt but if I wanted to write a guide on how NOT to set up a first encounter - this would be it! A valuable lesson to learn I think and hopefully you'll take what I've said as advice for the future.
Hal727 Posted January 17, 2023 Posted January 17, 2023 What am I missing here? I have used dating sites for nearly 30 years, both vanilla and fetish types, and met some very good people on both. However, in every case it began with “let’s meet in a public place for a cup of coffee, or lunch “. Reasons being 2 fold: security for both myself and the person I was/am meeting, and also to see if there is any actual good shared sexual chemistry between us. So what I am reading here sounds a bit scary and risky to say the least. I should add that everyone I have met, and there have been quite a few, have been good people who have represented themselves honestly, but we all know that there are bad people out there.
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