How much time is enough?

[Deleted Member]

Hiw much time do you need invested in your BDSM relationship to make it work for you? 

I find meeting for two or three sessions a month with occassional events and some communication inbetween is fine. 

I have a job, family , pets and other interests and like all things we have to balance these. But I do love that aura that covers all  those things that comes from belonging too and that spark of spontaniety froma sudden summons or instruction. 

Just wondered what works for others? 

[Domokuncane]

It didn't work out for me but as you said work patterns and family commitments do impact on the relationship as well as distance. You are right that instant summons or instructions do give the spark. Its whether you want it 24/7 or when you can fit it in. It truly depends on the D/s dynamics and what works for you both and you want it to work as there is a way around the problems you have but it all boils down to the desires and wants you are both looking for so communication and commitment is vital.

[Hal727]

I’m an old guy. I had a BDSM relationship with the same Mistress for over 30 years. We saw each other for a session of a few hours about once a month. Occasionally we would find time for a weekend trip together. Otherwise she had her life and family and I had mine along with all the responsibilities that go with having kids, pets, a profession etc. It worked beautifully for us both, and never caused a ripple of trouble. We were friends with a shared BDSM sexual appetite. We liked each other, shared a mutual respect and made special efforts to ensure that our BDSM interests never caused each other problems at home. She is gone now, but looking back I feel very lucky to have had such a relationship. I believe that having such an outlet in our lives helped us both to be better at the family oriented sides of our lives.

[Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

You shouldn't have to make anything work. It comes completely natural, if it's not, then you have a heavy choice to make.. I believe you can work something out

[littlemiss37]

I believe communication is the key good luck x

[Nocturne]

In IRL situations, it doesn't matter much, if a person wants to see me again after a few months, start where we finished last time, it's no problem for me. In a monogamous situation it might be different of course, and outside of IRL things I do enjoy talking, not necessarily about BDSM, but keeping in touch to an extent, talk to them about other things as well, communicate needs. 

[PebblePebble]

i see my girl once or twice a month, however we would both like this to be more, we live some distance apart and work long and different hours, we have played for 14 months, quite hard impact. for 2023 we have a bucket list of new clubs and events to try so could  potentially see each other 3 or 4 times a month  op's question...how much time is enough? imo there's never enough