When is it a good time to bring up being a sub?

[Ha****]

Yes… for the most part.. I haven’t had a lot of luck in these apps because I’m much better in person then over any app… I tend to read people well… which when I do find someone it makes the dynamic intense…

[po****]

To be honest I don't know who's real or not so I mean if you're a real person I gradually appreciate your conversation and to be honest we're on here for a kink lol 

[ja****]

Every situation is different I think you might be overthinking this a little bit. If you meet someone you like after 2 or 3 dates ask the guy what he’s into, and that should be able to gauge he’s interest in the lifestyle. Then you can explain to him what you are into and how you are a sub. Or you could wait until after you guys had some intimacy together, then ask him what he is into or what does he want to try. Then explain your kinks and have an open and honest conversation about what you are both into. You are both adults you should be able to do it and it should be pretty easy I’ve done it a few times.

If he says he’s interested in trying it out and he’s never done before.Just set boundaries down and have an open communication with him and let him try it out. Just keep open communication and Boundaries while he is exploring with you and you should be fine. If he’s not into it he’s not into it. There’s nothing you can do about that at least you give a try, and hopefully you learned something from the whole situation. So for the next time it might be a little bit easier to explain yourself and what you’re into and how to train someone to dom you. Just take from the experience and you’ll be fine.

Just sit boundaries and have open communication. If something Feels wrong or you don’t like it say something. 
Good luck and I hope you find someone.


[pl****]

Wow go with your gut if a man likes you he wouldn't have no problems to do what it take to plz you

[Ki****]

I’d say you say it like you did this post and whoever sexualizes it will weed themselves out

[xe****]

Say nothing. Keep expecting others to read your mind.

[sa****]

I would say if he doesn't figure it out by your actions, then move on. A true Dom will know.

[Ji****]

I think that you don't really want to out and out use the word "submissive" because if the connotations. Say that you don't like making decisions, that you prefer a significant other who takes charge maybe.

[Ur****]

Best to be straightforward right from the very beginning

[ma****]

Just be honest they will like you more if you are honest and don't try to hide it you will be able to tell who is a real Dom/Master

[da****]

I put key words that someone in the lifestyle would understand on vanilla sites. “Old fashioned in the sense that the male should lead”, looking for a 50’s style relationship, or even a simple vanilla belongs in the kitchen.

[Deleted Member]

Maybe try dating sites for these specific dynamics, but i think up front is good. Also you’ll save wasting time with anyone who will alter their treatment of you based on your revelation.
Maybe add “this is the dynamic im looking for, And it may not be your thing and that’s ok, please do not behave in a way that doesn’t suit you”… maybe some disclaimer like that can help
Good luck!

[ju****]

For me the first date is the best time, there’s a lot of times you can bring it up surprisingly. I like to mention the fact I’m a soft dom on a first date and it just open the room for conversation.

[Jo****]

A true dom won't sexualize you for merely expressing your interests. If he does I would suggest finding a new one.

[Ni****]

If and when you're open to discussion about sexual preferences and desires so it them but make sure to state that you differentiate your personality from your sexual persona. It's easier honestly if you're just looking for sex, but as a sub you're in a unique position to create a relationship out of sexual encounters. Always remember you deserve to feel special and important and safe. Stress the importance of aftercare if that's part of your journey and remember, people don't know what they don't know, it's not your job to educate people but it is your responsibility to set your boundaries. I wish you all of the luck!

[da****]

A true dominant should already know

[Vilhelm007]

Early is best and talk often to learn compatibility! My gf is a lovely sub, that I use and protect!!

[za****]

It's all the little things that add up. Go slow. Find moments when you can express how good something felt, even though he might think that it was too strong. Takes time but if he had a tendency to being Dom, it will show.