Ma**** Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 In many respects this app harkens to other swipe for dopamine ones. To make a connection I’d say you probably have to just grind through and sift out a lot of chaff.
Lord_Talion Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 That depends on what you're presently doing that makes you unapproachable
AProperDom Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 All women/men are different. You can say something to one that will create an instant connection, where as the same thing will fall flat with someone else. There isn't a magic formula. You DO just have to be yourself.
In**** Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 As others have said read the profile. Be polite, when you first approach someone they are not your sub,Dom, Domme, daddy etc. Also be respectful and be kind.
lo**** Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 I just looked at your profile. If you were to message me, pretty much anything you said if you were trying to start something with me would be ignored. You have nothing there about yourself. No interests, no likes, nothing. Sometimes a blank slate is good, on a profile places like this it is not.
al**** Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 I always approach respectfully I don’t seem to have a lot of problems. I get decent response from people who are logging in. I’ve been enjoying it. Don’t message subs like hey slave. Don’t assume anyone wants to be your slave here. Progress through friendship and earn trust. If they are interested the submission will be offered.
Deleted Member Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 (edited) 5 hours ago, Inexperiencedsub said: Be polite, respectful and kind. I agree with you. It blows my mind so many people forget to see they are writing to a stranger, or feel no need. At a Supermarket, if a person is in your way... are you going to say "Hey, can you move or Excuse me". Edited January 25, 2023 by Deleted Member
Deleted Member Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 1 hour ago, alyxfrost said: I always approach respectfully I don’t seem to have a lot of problems. I get decent response from people who are logging in. I’ve been enjoying it. Don’t message subs like hey slave. Don’t assume anyone wants to be your slave here. Progress through friendship and earn trust. If they are interested the submission will be offered. Lucky you
fa**** Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 The dynamics here are no different than in real life. Same issues. People just being people. Some humble and sincere in what they want intentions true. Some full of ego with other people adding to it with the attention they give. Life feeds on life. It will always be that way. Just enjoy it and be amused.
za**** Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 8 hours ago, alyxfrost said: I always approach respectfully I don’t seem to have a lot of problems. I get decent response from people who are logging in. I’ve been enjoying it. Don’t message subs like hey slave. Don’t assume anyone wants to be your slave here. Progress through friendship and earn trust. If they are interested the submission will be offered. As a straight off the noob, I agree I wouldn't want to start anything with anyone without taking the time to build trust, get to know and feel comfortable with someone, or anyone before moving on to kink if appropriate. If not appropriate or wanted, I've gained a trusted contact. If trust level isn't high I've gained a contact to build more from. BUT, even with this said I can't do anything if no one talks back to me which is the case so far. Is direct messaging not the right way to start? Or should I just chat in the lobby when I can and hope people msg me?
BruiseWayne Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 On 1/24/2023 at 1:48 AM, eyemblacksheep said: meat space Lol. Totally stealing that.
Deleted Member Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 Tbh I almost cancelled my subscription here because the app is pretty poor (mod explained to me the reason) and the lack of responses I’d get a decent amount of views but no messages.. I’m not sure if they are waiting for me to send the first one or not.. but then again I’ve sent a few and never got any back. I’am still on the fence about if I’m going to stay
Deleted Member Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 (edited) On 1/24/2023 at 2:22 AM, slut_tamer_97 said: I also have a feeling some guys, certainly not myself, might really like that kind of approach from a domme that you mentioned. To them it may show she's the one they're looking for. I think men who like to please themselves at "that moment" would enjoy, but those wanting the actual experience is "no". @Aranhis "when I see a Domme I don't know degrading and making demands of me, my reaction is "F*** off"...." He is right. Did a test on this. Wrote back to two men stating "I will give a chance for us to get to know each other, but you need to do tasks". Both of them pushed BLOCKED ASAP!! I am sure when clicking Block, their reaction was "F*** off".😅😂😂 Edited January 25, 2023 by Deleted Member
Ne**** Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 Yesterday at 02:19 AM, slut_tamer_97 said: Wow, got the mob after me now when all I was trying to do was engage and learn. I'm brand new to this app too, so please forgive this username, I'm just experimenting is all. It is a kink app after all so... yeah. Anyways, OP I hope you also got the answers you were looking for in this thread, I think I did. I'm trying to express gratitude and all I'm getting is hostile replies. Sorry but I can see right through you as well. You ladies seem really hurt, and I'm sorry to hear that. I hope whatever your going through and whatever traumas you may have within you may one day get healed. Gentlemen, keep on self improving. That's what I'm doing and that's what I will continue to do, I'm going to do some pushups and situps now since I've been trying to build my muscles. Let's take care of ourselves and get ourselves together like one of the replies suggested above, alright? Lots to learn here, I hope for the best on your matches OP For what it’s worth @slut_tamer_97 I haven’t seen anything you’ve posted on this thread as gaslighty (and I’ve been hella gaslight before). Sometimes people just throw that word out 🤷🏻♀️ and everyone will have different reactions to different usernames - I’m fine with something with slut in it (given the site) but I have my own things that give me the heebie jeebies (like things that are aggressively sexual or have “daddy”). To answer OP, I think a lot of folks have already given great advice. Mainly, we’re just human and want basic respect (aka don’t immediately tell us how horny you are or have things in your profile that are degrading- even if you’re into that, degrading is only fun after you know and trust someone). Also, can confirm it IS overwhelming the amount of messages I get and it’s hard to respond to everyone and that’s coupled with the *** of “what do I do if we don’t click- will they get hostile?” (Add in the stigma about being a “sexual” woman here too) I’d also recommend checking the distance of people you message, I get messages from folks 200 - 2,000 miles away and I can’t justify throwing energy at someone I am realistically never going to meet up with. My one final suggestion- if you have pics with your face make sure you’re smiling. A lot of guys try to have “tough” or “sexy” faces and that *immediately* makes me not want to talk to them because it gives me aggressive vibes. Hope some of this helps! To all the gents here, keep learning and growing. Women aren’t tooo complicated- we mainly just want to feel seen, respected, and SAFE before we get down with anyone.
al**** Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 10 hours ago, zarozak said: As a straight off the noob, I agree I wouldn't want to start anything with anyone without taking the time to build trust, get to know and feel comfortable with someone, or anyone before moving on to kink if appropriate. If not appropriate or wanted, I've gained a trusted contact. If trust level isn't high I've gained a contact to build more from. BUT, even with this said I can't do anything if no one talks back to me which is the case so far. Is direct messaging not the right way to start? Or should I just chat in the lobby when I can and hope people msg me? I think it’s safe to send a message, it’s expected. The receiver will come to your profile (if they are active) and look it over if the interest is there they will answer you. I have many messages that have gone on answered I’m definitely not saying that my success rate is 100%. It’s a numbers game the more you try to better your chances will become. In all honesty most of these girls are very young for me but that’s what’s available so I messaged them anyways. I would like to see more women that are my own age or at least close to my age available on the website so I could try to talk to them. I don’t blame young users at all for this interest in someone that’s twice their age. But so far I’ve been having fun and at least finding new friends just like he said trusted contacts
ma**** Posted January 26, 2023 Posted January 26, 2023 It's a buyers market. The rate of conversion is identical to main stream social apps. Also consider that out of 10 profiles, some are disingenuous, some have been abandoned and some have zero intention of interacting with anyone.
Th**** Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 Cause all the girls on here want to be messaged but won't message back, they get off to it
CopperKnob Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 13 minutes ago, TheBlueWerewolf said: Cause all the girls on here want to be messaged but won't message back, they get off to it A) none of us on Fet are 'girls'. That would be breaking TOU's B) all of us, of any gender would like to receive messages but, only if those messages approach us as the humans we are and in a respectful manner C) the pornographic content of some of the messages I've received have been reaching for the sick bucket, not my vibe
su**** Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 2 hours ago, TheBlueWerewolf said: Cause all the girls on here want to be messaged but won't message back, they get off to it Respectfully, no. We just ignore the kind of ppl with a mindset like that :)
Deleted Member Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 I get plenty of people who read my messages but just left on read.. I don’t even talk dirty in messages.. Tbh most of my profile views now are coming from the forums given the distances shown. Most people I’ve seen joining now seem to be from “other sites” at least one of them I noticed them before and they all talk about wanting to have a paypig.
Deleted Member Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 2 hours ago, ridgeway384 said: I get plenty of people who read my messages but just left on read.. I don’t even talk dirty in messages.. It's unisex with different sets of problems. For me, I don't hear back from them when I reminded them Mono. I rather they read, and not write to me at all.
lo**** Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 8 hours ago, ridgeway384 said: I get plenty of people who read my messages but just left on read.. I don’t even talk dirty in messages.. Tbh most of my profile views now are coming from the forums given the distances shown. Most people I’ve seen joining now seem to be from “other sites” at least one of them I noticed them before and they all talk about wanting to have a paypig. Your profile doesn't actually say anything about you. It's purely sexual. I am pretty sure that is why no one replies. While some may just want some quick fun, that is NOT the goal of most those in the lifestyle.
Deleted Member Posted January 29, 2023 Posted January 29, 2023 14 hours ago, locketheart said: Your profile doesn't actually say anything about you. It's purely sexual. I am pretty sure that is why no one replies. While some may just want some quick fun, that is NOT the goal of most those in the lifestyle. Maybe I can fix it a bit, I hate writing stuff about me
Cr**** Posted January 30, 2023 Posted January 30, 2023 Confidence is the first thing I notice in another person if they have that I'm interested in finding out why
Deleted Member Posted January 30, 2023 Posted January 30, 2023 Yesterday at 06:36 AM, ridgeway384 said: Maybe I can fix it a bit, I hate writing stuff about me Personally, what you've written in your about me decides if I'll write back or not. It gives insight into your kinks, your motives and your personality
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