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By Deleted Member
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Deleted Member

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I am fairly new to the lifestyle and have only really been with one person. I call him Daddy and he calls me doll or babygirl.

Our dynamic is strictly bedroom where he is in charge. But is more of a pleasure Dom to me.

Recently instead of our normal play he was much more intense and sensual and more vocal and giving me a lot of praise and assurance. And just saying what a connection we had. He wanted me to stay the whole night but I didn't because I was scared it would lead me to where I am now. We agreed at first to NSA. But now I’m struggling. I have started to develop feelings for him and I don’t know what yo do. The physical stuff is out of this world. But I just am scared to keep going to see him as I am developing these feelings. I know he plays with more than just me and I don’t think he would give that up. I however, have always been monogamous and am not sure if I am open to poly.

I did see him yesterday and I know it’s just him doing what he needs to but he made sure I had something to eat and we joked around and it was a good time.

I’m just afraid I’m not made out for this Lifestyle as I don’t really like to share when I have feelings for someone.
au****

au****

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It appears that you and I are stuck in the very same boat I myself tend to avoid and f**k everything completely up I know because I can clearly see it coming way before it happens I can't stop it seems I leave avoid or damage things especially if I know it's something I like or love because I know I'm the end it's just going to mess me up.....
If you need to vent or talk I'm here

CopperKnob

CopperKnob

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This "lifestyle" is what you make it. If you want NSA then that's what it is. Same as if you want something more than that, monogamous or poly.
The only way forward is to talk to him, share your feelings and ***s otherwise no matter how lovely he is, he won't be able to give you what you truly want or need. The longer it goes on as it is, the more you'll hurt in the long run. Sharing what we feel, is a *** place to be, there's always the possibility that you and he won't want the same thing and things will end but, by having the conversation you both have the opportunity to be honest with yourselves and each other. At least you both know where you stand and can make decisions on where you're going
Matttster

Matttster

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Open communication is crucial. You need to be open and honest about your feelings and concerns. Ideally he will be open and honest with you in return.

No one can tell you what to do as there is no right answer. You just need to choose the answer that is right for you. You must decide what is acceptable to you. No relationship is perfect, every relationship must (should) have compromises from all parties involved.

You must do what us right for you. What things you are willing to compromise on. If he wants multiple partners and that is not something you can handle, then end things before you get more attached. But assess all options. Would you be comfortable with him having additional partners under specific parameters (such as you knew who, he could only have a limited number of partners, etc.). He may be the “Dom” but you set your own limits and boundaries.
Matttster

Matttster

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You need to be open and honest about your feelings with your partner and hope he will be open and honest about his feelings as well.

He may be the “Dom” but you set your own limitations and boundaries. Before talking with him you should decide if you can only be in a monogamous relationship or if you could accept any form of open or poly relationship (such as you knew his partner(s) or limits on how many partners he could have or that you could have additional partners as well.

We all must make compromises in our relationships. You need to determine what compromises you can live with. If he does not agree, I would suggest ending things before your feelings get stronger.
Jait71

Jait71

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You definitely need to talk to him & let him know how you feel..
It's very easy when you start out to say "NSA" or "FWB" - but the lifestyle & the play naturally lends itself to a deeper connection...
Be honest - with him & yourself..
Sc****

Sc****

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I am the same way honey. I think it’s easier for guys to be with multiple partners. I am monogamous and my former Dom said he was on his profile, but I don’t think he was with me. Just make sure to be open with your Daddy and up front about your feelings. You deserve to get what you want and you deserve the best. 💕

Deleted Member

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I'm sorry to tell you, but stuff like this WILL develop feelings even if you don't want it to. It's still connecting with another person even if it's in a more... nontraditional... kind of way. That's perfectly normal and to be expected, and a good thing if you let it be :)

Deleted Member

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One thing that I’ll mention is that for some people, Daddy Doms are their kink. So if you found a good Daddy who has taken the time to understand you, it is rather easy to see how Daddy takes care of your needs. For some that makes feelings develop faster or deeper than usual.
Ma****

Ma****

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You’re dabbling in something that touches on deep emotions , whatever the roles.
Communication of your needs and expected protocols is very important for the both of you.
These situations do happen though. Start the process of open and honest discussion and see if negotiations can reach a climax.

Deleted Member

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There's some good advises here. I am mono, and tried FWB. It didn't work, realized not for me, and only doing mono. You have four choices, and mentioned by others. 1. Communication 2. Accepting this as it is 3. Leave before getting more hurt. 4. Hoping for the best. With experiences, I would choose 3.

Edited by Deleted Member
Misspellings
Sh****

Sh****

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Polyamory is not easy but it is rewarding. Communication is the most important thing and if you uncomfortable even sharing that you have feelings for him…it’s probably not a good match.
Da****

Da****

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Dear Perry683,

I've read a few comments which others have written, and there's some great stuff there.

Here's my quick view(warning :I'm never quick)

Have the convo, but own yourself before you do.

Oliver knew his exact position and what could /would likely happen. But the voice inside said "more" and that voice was louder than anything else.

I'll say it with you :
"Please Sir, I want some more!"

Yes, we all know the worse that could happen. But maybe it won't be that. And if the worst does happen. It'll be sh*t. For a while. And then the sun will come out. A little at first, then more.

But you're creating, you're carving out what you don't want, shaping your universe, your getting stronger at calling your truth to you.

Its better than Netflix on repeat, being scared and not acting /not knowing.

And we're all here for you. You're not alone. 🌸

Deleted Member

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Regarding conversations, it's a catch 22. You have to use fine judgement on this. In the wrong hands, the person (unisex) can try to take advantage, and string along a person. 

Deleted Member

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Stick to your guns, if he is poly then let him do his thing. I have never been comfortable with sharing, I’m way too territorial for that and I wouldn’t want him, to want me to shared. I love feeling like I belong to someone. If feelings come up, be honest, talk about it but you will most likely have to move on. Don’t give up, you just have find your right match ❤️
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