So you think you're a Dom?

[Deleted Member]

So you think you're a Dom... Do you even know what that title really means?

Do you truly know your role or have you just got this desire to be a dominator in the bedroom to *** and use? To fulfil your own fantasy and nothing more.

Don't get me wrong every true Dom has his own style and personality but do you know what it truly is to take on that role?

Regardless of being Dom/Daddy/Master you have to earn not demand submission. Be conscious and consistent. Make your potential submissive feel completely safe physically mentally emotionally and spirituality. Lead and provide that environment for them to grow and blossom in within your own hands.

If you can't or don't want to do that you're not a Dom!

[we****]

Could not agree more with what you just said it’s so much deeper than just owning in the bedroom

[Deleted Member]

Well said. I always want to talk to my potential submissives first and get to know them personally. I don’t believe one can truly give themselves to someone else u til they completely trust them and that trust isn’t going to be earned by me just saying…”I own you now”

[Sp****]

So well said!

[Deleted Member]

Not everyone is going to be or look like the ideal "Dom" you have fixated in your fantasies. Some haven't fully found themselves or honed their own skills. Some learn from experience and others need more of a guiding hand. They decide what makes them a Dom or anything otherwise, not you. I could call myself a pretty pretty Werepony and sloth hybrid, are you going to say that I'm not? Calm yourself. You're acting like a gatekeeper.

[br****]

Yes I know this ,,, it’s a big task but it’s all about the sub

[Deleted Member]

As others have already mentioned being a Dom is a full time responsibility and not something you pick up or drop when you feel like it. It’s more than just a bedroom thing…the sub that willingly and freely submits to a Dom does so because they have chosen them and trusts them not the other way round

[Deleted Member]

16 minutes ago, LuckyXIII said:

Not everyone is going to be or look like the ideal "Dom" you have fixated in your fantasies. Some haven't fully found themselves or honed their own skills. Some learn from experience and others need more of a guiding hand. They decide what makes them a Dom or anything otherwise, not you. I could call myself a pretty pretty Werepony and sloth hybrid, are you going to say that I'm not? Calm yourself. You're acting like a gatekeeper.

Thank you for your input 😊

Are you?

[Deleted Member]

Yeah, that's an opinion alright.

[Se****]

Dominant and submissive are both roles of service. You both serve both your dynamic and each other. Service does not look the same for everyone and it shouldn’t. Compatibility is key. I may be a good Dom but bad for you and the same can be said the other way around. The roles don’t just automatically fit together for any two people. It requires communication, understanding, a desire to serve each other, and patience just as any relationship does. We practice alternative relationship styles, but they are still relationships that require work from BOTH parties. Submission shouldn’t be given, it’s earned.

[Ka****]

True!

[gl****]

This reminds me of the what is real "punk rock " debate that has endured decades and continues to bore me to sleep. It's a douche bag bro type argrument.

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, glenadale13 said:

This reminds me of the what is real "punk rock " debate that has endured decades and continues to bore me to sleep. It's a douche bag bro type argrument.

"Punk rock" to me is None conformist Anarchy 😊

[d3****]

This is only the tiptop of the iceberg the mainstream side of it all

[se****]

I was told by many of my previous subs and my current one, that they appreciate how authentic i am. And how they feel true submission with me. And that all their previous doms felt like they were all the same, as if they were all given the same script to go by. My point is, I feel like if you’re naturally dominant. You’ll be great at being someone’s dom. But when you “want” to be dominant, and you go online reading what every else tells you a dom is supposed to be. And everyone tells you what to do as a dom, and how to treat your sub. You’re going to fail miserably. I feel like this topic is just funny this point, because I see it like every week. A bunch of people saying what they believe a dom is. Everyone has their own style, and if your sub likes your style and you have a healthy, stable relationship with your sub. Then you are a dom. Regardless of what anyone else says.

[d3****]

This lifestyle goes way to deep to have people youse the word (real) and (fake) and thats what the ones that are so quick to throw out those words don’t seem to understand a more hardcore Dom’s can just as easily say that you are not a true sub because this ore that and that is the biggest problem that we all face some like the softest parts of the lifestyle sum only the idea of it then you have the 24/7 and the actual hard legal contract side of things but when someone tells another that they aren’t real cuz they don’t fit into the box that you want Thats just dumb this is a conversation that will go no where because everyone has there own beliefs on what this lifestyle means is to them so instead of having conversations that go nowhere get to know the different sides of the lifestyle and the people that make it and keep it alive

[Deleted Member]

I know I'm not

[do****]

I feel as though f I’m
A dom I have the full control of my sub she is a good girl however one time I was at her house and she did not know I was there. As I watched her play a game and only after thirty minutes I told her I was there. She freaked out and telling me I don’t have the ability to be in her house and watch her as she is alone, she now has to have the time to evaluate if she wants this in the future, a sub/dom relationship, she stated I lost her trust by being in her home watching her as she is alone. Please note I have keys to her home we have a 24/7 dom sub relationship, I’m a bit confused I can come watch her sleep with my access but I cannot visit her home being quiet as she finish a her Harry Potter new game release alone. Do I feel completely confused she gives me full access keys, bondage, blinds, paddling, any sex position without limits, but when I assume it my rights to come and go I loss the control of being dom not allowing her to know I’m in her presence As she was playing a game?

[Jo****]

I don't know if I'm a "real dom" but then I've never cared for other people's approval. I personally identify as a soft dom. I like to gently guide people through their desired experiences. I can be rough but for me my most important role is helping my partner be and feel safe while they experience their desire.

[Sa****]

I’ve been a lover of clay since kindergarten. Molding things to fit is one of the first things I learned to do patient and skill are the keys. An a willing participant and time are the lock 🔒 One can not rush perfection because neglecting even the smallest of details could end in disaster. Study your mark and plant your seeds deep for the journey is the pleasure and the destination the treasure you both get to keep. Just remember to enjoy pleasing just as much as being pleased communicating is a key 🔑 also trust me you can never have to many keys 🔑

[Deleted Member]

Some of us do
Some us have experienced it
Some of us know the the difference between dominant and domineering,though it is extremely rare

[Li****]

I may not be a domme, but things are not always so simple. If it is consentual and not a real danger then its personal preference to what happens.

I do however thing that it's built on trust and shouldn't be an imediate ask of a dom to give up everything as it can be too much of a culture shock. Its about feeling safe, but over time you make it what you as a couple or group (whatever the dynamic) want to make it. Be it soft or hard core 24/7. And there should always be an out (for the sub and the dom) if its needed. And should also be legal.

This is a subject that no matter how much you talk about it, you can only ever scratch the surface.

[Deleted Member]

I would like to comment from the other perspective, yes we've all encountered D who found out about D/s who have no idea what a D/s dynamic is.. to me what is more scary is the amount of subs on here who think being a sub means doing everything a D says without question..
Do people not earn their honorific ? I was mentored by a wonderful woman who was s for 10 years then slowly after her marriage became slave, they know each other inside out .. I took time to research what kind of sub I am.
Please both D/s , T/b, DD /lg and all the rest of you .. please please please researc the role you have decided upon .

[Deleted Member]

Nonsense. You speak like it’s a monolith or that you’re an authority. You’re not.

[AProperDom]

A Dom is the person that takes the Dominant role in a relationship. Everything else is what you make it.