How to trust my feelings again?

[Deleted Member]

That's dating in general. Even if you meet in person they might not be what they seem. Even if they are honest they are still putting their best foot forward and sometimes we only see what we want to see. Meeting online just adds another layer to it.

[St****]

He may have some healing to do and hasn’t dealt with that

[ta****]

Hey Nena it sounds like he might be a narcissist in all honesty making it seem like you're using him in order to gain emotional co trol over you be careful cause some people will play the victim all while they're the ones using and playing you

[Deleted Member]

You are better off without him. I wasted too many years trying to love vanilla, so if he can’t give you what you need, then in a way…, he’s done you a favor. Because I wasted time in relationships (marriages) and I’ve only dated 3 dominant women through the years, so don’t waste your time on thinking you are wrong in anyway. I think I can say, we’ve all been there at one point or another. Like the gentleman said below, be careful who you let control you. 😊

[infenron]

Communication is the very basis of kink if you can't do that your a red flag and it certainly sounds like he has some serious self reflection to do.

[Fr****]

He is Gaslighting you. The exact tactics of a cluster B personality disorder. lovebombing - devalue - discard. You might find he tries to reel you back in again. My advice if he does…. Run and dont look back.

[PS****]

Never give up! Idid back when i was 23! Now im 51 with absolutely nobody in my life. That is a duel edge! On one hand, its peaceful as fuck but in the orher hand, its peaceful as fuck if i get any more peaceful Ill be eighty and single, thats an inevitability it seems at this point! Im a great guy but I actually . .. never mind what i thought, i thought wrong. Looking for at least a tenth grade read level, age must be at least 30. I will take it right down to 18, but with that sort of gap, its creepy on the younger side. It reminds me of a good Navy story, but its 3:20am. Time for an english muffin and and some. . . B.G.’s. More than a woman! Ha ha ha, fuck the neighbors! I feel like a little boogie!

[Vo****]

Monday at 04:09 PM, liverpool401 said:

If you do care for him then maybe try this on a phone call, say “from your point of view what is the issue and how do you think we can sort it?” Don’t respond just really let him talk himself out. Then ask for clarification *important* and deconstruct exactly what he says with him using the same words he uses and dont interject with your own opinions/thoughts . Try not to let any emotion creep into your voice and keep the tone neutral but caring. If he objects don’t be disheartened and just explain that you care for him and don’t want to throw away the connection you feel for him. Misunderstanding can often be the cause and people tend to shy away if they feel like they already know the outcome. This way is a slow but gentle way around that. Only after he has said everything then you can explain your point of view in the same manner and hopefully reach an understanding. Then at the end at least you will know where he is coming from and then you can make up your mind if You still want to pursue the relationship.

I care for everyone quite honestly, but he did it twice in the space of 2 days and there was just no need. I think the second time might have been because he saw I’d been onto fet but that was genuinely because I was going to put a forum post up for advice! So silly!

[Vo****]

6 hours ago, FrankieJay said:

He is Gaslighting you. The exact tactics of a cluster B personality disorder. lovebombing - devalue - discard. You might find he tries to reel you back in again. My advice if he does…. Run and dont look back.

Yeah I think this was the main reason I was doubting myself… I thought I was so good at spotting this nonsense! I’m feeling loads better now tho, I’m pretty strong :)

[Deleted Member]

Glad to hear you are doing better @voodoogirl

[ki****]

Good for you....onwards, upwards

[da****]

Know your self worth I was in a 247 d/s dynamic for 17 years