Help with sinking feeling after a sub under contracted cheated and left me for another Dom

[Zack_W]

I had a sub, who was my longest contracted, but also longest known and seemingly most loyal, but only a few hours ago I found out that they had cheated on me and left me for another Dom. Now it feels like a part of has been ripped out. Can anyone help?

[Deleted Member]

I spent about 4 months training a Submissive. We were so good with each other that we were referring to each other as kindred spirits. Then she stopped talking completely without so much as a goodbye. Literally just no replies at all. All I could do was wait for time to heal the wound. Perhaps not what you want to hear, but that is all I can say. That and do not let that Submissive back into your life.

[Zack_W]

Hey Dante,

Thank you for replying, and thank you for sharing your own experience. You're right, I won't let her back into my life nor will I let her ruin it. Still hurts though.

Kind Regards,

Dan Marko (DanM)

Edited April 3, 2019 by DanM

[Deleted Member]

Some people can just never see when they have something good going on. As with ANY relationship ending, it takes time, just remember it is ok to be annoyed, frustrated and upset over it. Also remember those emotions will fade with time, just dont let this experience stop you finding someone else. As hard as they can be to find decent people are out there. Good luck xxx

[Deleted Member]

the longuest it is, the more attached you get, and also emotions are more raw. Did you noticed anything strange, any signs? 

communication is always the key to notice this kind of things.

You should always be prepared for this to happen, subs change their mind or need a new challenge sometime. Maybe you didnt give her what she wanted ?

 

[BigPolly]

Allow yourself to hurt then move onto bigger & better things. Maybe use this alone time to just have fun & some play partners. Each Dom/sub is very different so each one will bring new experiences. We’ve all been there & although you feel shit now everything is temporary you won’t feel this rubbish forever 🌞

[Be****]

hi DanM, you need to grieve that relationship, so let yourself be upset, treat yourself kindly, and remember it's going to take time x

[Deleted Member]

Like many others have said below. Give yourself time to heal, I can imagine this being very ***ful and certainly unfair. Nothing warrants completely bailing on someone with no explanation - especially in the context of BDSM where everything is about honesty and being forthcoming with how you feel. Sorry you’re feeling low and I truly hope you feel better soon. Plenty of people on here who are happy to support you until then xx

[ey****]

I don't want to hijack with my own experiences too much - but I'm currently going through a similar *** after being (almost) unexpectedly dismissed by my Mistress - a cited reason being that she simply didn't have the time - and she announced a new sub the day she dismissed me and another one a few weeks later :/ 

so, I'm still going through the hurt and the processing

however - I've found there are so many people there for me - that it's reassuring.  there are good folk there - and you'll get through it

[Deleted Member]

My sympathies, I too had a slave whom I thought was loyal  and devoted.  I trained him from the start and respected him always and treated him like a friend, but in the end he not only betrayed me as a slave but as a friend too. I realize it’s little consolation but somethings just have an ending that must be accepted even if  it’s not easy to understand. 

[Deleted Member]

sorry about your situation eyem, I am sure you wont stay uncollared long knowing your pedigree. 

As I said before some subs or Dom need change, don't forget its suppose to be fun and pleasurable, and some have more selfishness into it them. This is why you need to reassess regularly the relationship, what need to be changed, revigorate, new kinks input, pushing limits. 

I had a sub who never thought about including knves into play, as I introduced it slowly once she loves it now. Its still scare her but she accepted it now

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, maitresse14 said:

comment tu vas et que recherche moi je suis une dominatrice qui recherche un soumis ou alors laisse moi ton adresse hangouts pour bien fait no connaissance et ou Ajoute moi suis mon hangouts;[email protected]

il est interdit de faire de la pub sur les forums, en plus il parle pas francais ahah

[Deleted Member]

16 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I don't want to hijack with my own experiences too much - but I'm currently going through a similar *** after being (almost) unexpectedly dismissed by my Mistress - a cited reason being that she simply didn't have the time - and she announced a new sub the day she dismissed me and another one a few weeks later :/ 

so, I'm still going through the hurt and the processing

however - I've found there are so many people there for me - that it's reassuring.  there are good folk there - and you'll get through it

hey eyem do you fancy moving in France lol that mistress looking for a sub 

[MistressMFF]

I can relate to your experience when you had a contracted sub who you thought you had created a long trust worthy lasting Dom sub relationship and of a blink of an eye they just disappear, it does crush you a bit but I had to remind myself that contracted or not they are just human being who will just follow their mind to do as they wish and I always repeat to myself ...1 lost...10 more found (It's a French saying = plenty of subs in the sea) . I know it is not nice but there are other subs out there looking for a Dom like you 😉

[Zack_W]

Thank you all so much, you have all helped me. It still hurts but I will come back stronger from it.

[Naked247]

I know how you must feel , I had a situation where after weeks of talking and getting to know my sub and she getting used to me we were arraging for her to relocate and then it all turned to custard and she never answered my calls or mails ...It took months to get over it but let me say you will and i hope you find someone else. I am still looking but hope i might have a lead. Good luck

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Touch!!! Plus I hadn't really thought about the issue from this side around.....time energy trust=non refundible!!

[Deleted Member]

im the oppsite way round with you , when i had a DOM who was my also "partner" but left me for people on grinder or some other social media, it hurt like ton of bricks, it will do for a while i know this is a old old thread but , i hope good thing's have come to you. All best you can do is move on with your life best you can and find someone who is worthy of your time

[Zack_W]

I have moved on since then and have a new sub who is wonderful

1 hour ago, MasterAlex101 said:

im the oppsite way round with you , when i had a DOM who was my also "partner" but left me for people on grinder or some other social media, it hurt like ton of bricks, it will do for a while i know this is a old old thread but , i hope good thing's have come to you. All best you can do is move on with your life best you can and find someone who is worthy of your time

 

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Had no idea that this could happen 🤔 thought good reliable  Dom's were so rare that no-one would just up & leave without very good reasons.....