How to submit

[Se****]

1 hour ago, LucianCastro said:

Women ignore 99% of men. What was so special about this one? Doe’s he provide for you? Doe’s he treat you well? Are you better with him than without him? You need to ask yourself some serious questions. Submission is natural not selective. A man is judged at face value and you should too. You don’t get endless try’s at being in a kink relationship. At some point you will pick up bad habits other D’s know how to tell. It’s like a weak uncomfortable man. If a woman is strong and secure it is impossible for her too be submissive. It’s an oxymoron. I
Here too help not bash. I would like to see our community be healthy not trashy or dangerous.

Okay 1 point at a time:

1/ “women ignore 99% of men.”

Not true and don’t make up random facts to suit your narrative. 

2/ “what was so special about this one?” 

Not really any of your business unless the OP wishes to divulge, they clearly felt a connection of some sort to this person and that is all we need to know. However your subsequent questions seem to speak rather sharply to saying that if this Dom provides/treats well/makes her “better” then she should put up and shut up. I sincerely hope I’m misinterpreting what you’ve written?!

3/ “Submission is natural not selective.”

Yes, I agree. WITH THE RIGHT DOM. You are not surely of the mindset that every submissive person ought to bow down and submit to every person claiming to be dominant, are you? That would be ludicrous, imagine if we were to say that in role reversal. Dominance is natural not selective!! So a Dominant person is always dominant to every other person they met and expects them to submit - utter codswallop. 

4/ “You don’t get endless tries at being in a kink relationship”

 Actually… do I even need to say this? YES, SHE DOES. If a relationship doesn’t make the person happy or fulfilled then of COURSE they have the right to move on and look for something else. To claim otherwise would mean NO kink relationship ever ended and we all know that isn’t the case. 

5/ “Bad habits…”

I would love you to elaborate on this one. Please. Bad habits are surely things like smoking, drinking, eating unhealthily etc. Bad habits in a D/s relationship - 🤔 tenuous. Perhaps things that are frowned upon by “those who know best”, or things that one person likes done one way and another a different way. But hey, the beauty of communication right?

6/ If a woman is strong, secure… impossible to be submissive.”

Are we actually going here. Wow. Just wow. ANYBODY and I mean ANYBODY can have submissive tendencies. In fact some of the strongest women I know are submissive (sexually). I know this because I am one of them. Please, please, don’t continue to spout this propaganda. 

X

[FETMOD-TF]

Hi all, we have done some house keeping on this thread and removed certain comments as insults and name calling doesn't fly with us, nor does trolling.  

Please remember to play nice or we will have no hesitation in locking this thread. 

Thank you to those of you that have stayed on topic.

[ru****]

1 hour ago, FatefulDestiny said:

Okay 1 point at a time:

1/ “women ignore 99% of men.”

Not true and don’t make up random facts to suit your narrative. 

2/ “what was so special about this one?” 

Not really any of your business unless the OP wishes to divulge, they clearly felt a connection of some sort to this person and that is all we need to know. However your subsequent questions seem to speak rather sharply to saying that if this Dom provides/treats well/makes her “better” then she should put up and shut up. I sincerely hope I’m misinterpreting what you’ve written?!

3/ “Submission is natural not selective.”

Yes, I agree. WITH THE RIGHT DOM. You are not surely of the mindset that every submissive person ought to bow down and submit to every person claiming to be dominant, are you? That would be ludicrous, imagine if we were to say that in role reversal. Dominance is natural not selective!! So a Dominant person is always dominant to every other person they met and expects them to submit - utter codswallop. 

4/ “You don’t get endless tries at being in a kink relationship”

 Actually… do I even need to say this? YES, SHE DOES. If a relationship doesn’t make the person happy or fulfilled then of COURSE they have the right to move on and look for something else. To claim otherwise would mean NO kink relationship ever ended and we all know that isn’t the case. 

5/ “Bad habits…”

I would love you to elaborate on this one. Please. Bad habits are surely things like smoking, drinking, eating unhealthily etc. Bad habits in a D/s relationship - 🤔 tenuous. Perhaps things that are frowned upon by “those who know best”, or things that one person likes done one way and another a different way. But hey, the beauty of communication right?

6/ If a woman is strong, secure… impossible to be submissive.”

Are we actually going here. Wow. Just wow. ANYBODY and I mean ANYBODY can have submissive tendencies. In fact some of the strongest women I know are submissive (sexually). I know this because I am one of them. Please, please, don’t continue to spout this propaganda. 

X

All of this again LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.

[Deleted Member]

@FatefulDestinyThe data from Tinder, Bumble, Hinged, and more dating apps have revealed that women only swipe right 5% of the time. This is a woman’s choice market. She chose him as her D because I hope it was done with consent. That being said I’m trying to help her identify a better match. I’m not trying to encourage an uncomfortable situation here I want her and the man she’s with to have a good happy relationship and if it can’t work then leave. However, without analyzing one’s own choices how can one make wiser decisions? This is why we need to have difficult conversations without getting caught in emotional arguments. I’m not here to fight with anyone.

[Ob****]

14 hours ago, Female_Sub_M said:

I have discussed my turn ons, limits etc. he is very respectful and open communication. However I don’t feel so mentally stimulated by him. There is no “spark”

If I didn’t have that mental connection with someone, I don’t think I could fully submit it either. I personally would see it as not fully clicking or having that ‘spark’. Though you can still respect and appreciate each other deeply.
I wouldn’t of thought you can cultivate that feeling… but if you figure out a way to let me know!

[Deleted Member]

I think all situations are different, in moments like this, I like to reflect on vanilla mindset.

I have dated girls before who on paper sre perfect m. Smart, funny, caring etc but there is no spark or chemistry. On a very rare occasion this might change over time but for me atleast 99% of the time faking until you make it does not work out because I feel I am not being authentic to myself or my potential partner.

It could be that you do not have chemistry or simply that you are still hung up on your ex and you are not ready for a new dynamic.

If its something worth fighting for you probably need to be honest with your partner to see if you can work it out or be honest that right now you are not feeling it and need space.

[CopperKnob]

Dear God, honestly!.
This is not a "womens choice market"
Dating is hard for all genders
All the above named apps have one thing in common, they are not real life. Even if they are, you do not want to have the inboxes we do. Just because women receive more messages than men does not make those messages ones we want to respond to. I mean, if men had it that hard, I can't help thinking that they'd try harder.
Check in with your female presenting friends who're online, not just dating sites, ask any of them to show you their inbox. You'll soon learn why we swipe right just 5% of the time.
You'll probably also know that men swipe left on 40% of women profiles. It has nothing to do woth potential connection and more to do with scarcity mindset which is, a huge fallicacy. Men literally set themselves up to fail.

[Ho****]

Communicate. Figure out what was different between then and now, if your current is maybe not being assertive enough or something like that. And talk to them. Tell them you aren't feeling as submissive as you've been in the past. If they can't fix that after a bit more tries🤷

[Deleted Member]

CopperKnob This is dominance speaking the truth even when people want to use shame, insults, guilt, and the need to be right. One is still standing on the ground they chose. I’m not here to *** you to do anything I’m just trying to help with the ladies original question. Which was about submitting and all that has happened is nothing short of being childish. You guys won I’ll give you that I will never post again. Those who lose are those trying to find answers to their questions instead of lies.

[CopperKnob]

2 hours ago, LucianCastro said:

CopperKnob This is dominance speaking the truth even when people want to use shame, insults, guilt, and the need to be right. One is still standing on the ground they chose. I’m not here to *** you to do anything I’m just trying to help with the ladies original question. Which was about submitting and all that has happened is nothing short of being childish. You guys won I’ll give you that I will never post again. Those who lose are those trying to find answers to their questions instead of lies.

And in doing so you made some very sweeping statements about a gender and a role you've no lived experience of and are simply not true of all women or subs

[Ar****]

21 hours ago, LucianCastro said:

The data from Tinder, Bumble, Hinged, and more dating apps have revealed that women only swipe right 5% of the time.

And thank blazes they do... heavens forfend men might equally be so selective, whatever might that lead to?

Unless somebody is just trying to get a quick fix based on looks and not remotely interested in compatibility or what somebody is actually like, I cannot comprehend why people would take a look at forty strangers and want to express interest in many more than a couple of them.

[ey****]

On 4/10/2023 at 3:10 AM, LucianCastro said:

The data from Tinder, Bumble, Hinged, and more dating apps have revealed that women only swipe right 5% of the time.

the problem is less so that women swipe rarely (I mean looking at around 50 profiles and picking 2-3 you like the most isn't unreasonable) and more that men swipe so often

there's data that also suggests men swipe around 80-90% and part of this is NOT because the other person ACTUALLY interests them, but to try to *** matches.  This creates an uneven field in the sense that if there is a match then there's a good chance the woman was the one interested and the man was just fishing.   

So, it's then going to be a touch more difficult because the guy gets a match with someone he doesn't even know why he swiped on and then has little to offer in means of conversation.

I don't use apps like that these days - but, honestly, I used to and I was a lot more selective in who I'd swipe on so when I did get a match there was already a case of "oh wow, she also likes me" and there were starting points for conversation.

If you're seeing "women only swipe 5%" as being a BAD thing, you're missing a big picture. 

[Deleted Member]

@eyemblacksheep Can you point to where I said it was a bad thing? Because I never did. I don’t think it is a bad thing thing at all. Women risk more when entering a relationship with a man. It’s a good thing they are that is why getting back to the original post. I asked her why she picked him. If there is no reason why she should be with him then leave. However, if women pick then how can she make a better decision the next time? Can you help her with that bigger picture?

[Deleted Member]

*good thin that they are picky*

[8x****]

He's not naturally Dominant enough for you, everyone can watch some films etc and act it out, but true mental dominance is something that can't be trained. It's a natural thing you either have or don't, to me it just seems your previous dom was a lot more of a natural dom.

[Kirri]

My current dom, for me there was instant connection, and attraction. I felt like he dominated me, but I didn't Ness always feel submissive. However as time passed that intensified. And now I literally worship the poor man. But. There was that initial connection. You can always give it time and see if the feelings change. But if it feels really ***d. Then it may not be right. You need to talk to them though. Be honest and communicate.

[Kirri]

It's important you click first I think. It may develop over time. But if it feels really ***d...I would suggest you need to chat to your dom.

With my dom I felt connection. Attraction and trust initially. That developed into truly caring about them and now I worship the poor man and would do almost anything for him. While I always felt like he dominated me I didn't always feel as submissive as I do now. But it was there...from the start.

[Al****]

Well
The beginning it was new as
You were developing, it’s as what the other two said, you known enough now that you need more , and
Have grown beyond what he can provide, unless also as communicate , he can grow but my experience you need to find your level of need and fulfillment, you can’t or it would be more
Difficult with him if he’s still learning or unsure, his level of fulfillment may be where y’all’s re at,
Works
For him not you.

You sound like your needing well as you said more mental physical submission balance so you need to go and find it to see how much and where that lies.

[Al****]

As Kitty said, the bond or click Is
Important, and if he’s doing his job and the real deal, you should feel him and the desire and submission mentally and physically,

[SlavegrlSheri]

I’m with you chic, it’s not always you. I’ve been involved w/an experienced D & fetish fiend but it became more of a regular relationship with his rules on we only hooked up on his terms. Nope. That’s a bossy bf, not a D.  I’ve also seen where D’s are expected to come up with everything & they like to be supported by their sub. Do you feel the click? If yes I’d try this. Next time he’s still, just do something small like taking off just your top & get into a downward (arms down. Hands open on the floor, ears parallel to arms & you can sit on your closed knees or arch your back up)….just keep worshipping pose & say something like “Any new desires Sir?” Or tell him “I’m patiently waiting to be used for your pleasure Daddy/Sir”.