Tips?? Advice???

[ja****]

So I’m looking for tips and advice for me and my daddy. We’ve been dating for a year, but I recently informed him on my DDLG “kink”. I explained to him how it wasn’t a kink but a lifestyle choice for me. He’s very onboard and very excited for this new chapter. Like I previously stated he’s new to this, and I’ve never had a dom. I just want to hear what works for some people and what doesn’t cause it could possibly work for us. Right now we’re working on my little rules and his daddy rules along with punishments, rewards, and aftercare. So again if you have any ideas, tips, advice, or things you wanna add feel free <3 have a blessed night!
-Big me

[Deleted Member]

Some examples I've had in a previous dynamic with a little:

-Make sure her room/the house is tidy

-(if she has stuffies) align them nicely on the bed for you to see.

-Draw you/colour me a picture.

-Write me a note

-Dress up in something cute for me during our sessions.

-Bake something for me

-Make sure all her sippy cups/bottles are labelled or clean. 

-Exercise in a fun way! (Dancing to her favourite music)

She has goals that we would work on together to help her achieve them. They are simple ones like get healthier, stop swearing, help her find a way to calm and relax when she gets angry and crabby. With those goals, what you need is more structure and have accountably for when you do/don't complete a task cause my little liked it when I assigned her tasks. So you need to agree on tasks for you that your daddy will be able to keep you accountable on.

[Deleted Member]

Or you could even have a set schedule for certain tasks, eg.

7:30 Wake up, brush teeth.

7:45 Eat breakfast

8:00 Watch favourite cartoons for a while.

9:00 Make sure bedroom is tidy and bed is made.

9:30 Play with stuffies/colour/make you things.

And so on and so forth ;)

[Deleted Member]

What kind of punishments do you have? That's something me & my fiance are struggling with some. I wish I could help you with your question.

[Ow****]

Here’s some a little and I worked on a while back:
Rules for Princess

Princess should take care of herself, eat healthy food, drink two bottles of water a day, brush her teeth,
Princess will complete all homework or tasks assigned by Daddy/Sir each day or by their expected deadline
Princess and Daddy/Sir will meet as often as is practical and when they are together cuddles must happen and at least one movie, documentary or tv show episode must be watched together
Bedtime is when Daddy/Sir says it is unless discussed beforehand or if unable to due to prior family events, or commitments
Princess will check in with Daddy/Sir at least twice a day, a good morning message when she wakes up, to show off whatever she's wearing and include her plan for the day, so that daddy knows what's happening in her life when he wakes up
Princess will tell Daddy/Sir whenever she's feeling needy, and will ask for permission when she wants to play
When buying something that isn't essential (such as food, soap, big space clothes) Princess should seek Daddy/Sirs opinion
Princess must tell Daddy/Sir if she feels she is dropping you
Princess is allowed to use her safewords without *** of judgement or repercussions when she genuinely doesn’t want to do something or when something just doesn’t feel right
Princess will always be on her best behaviour and remember her manners
Princess is not to feel embarrassed or sad about her therapy sessions or adhd. If she does, she will talk to Daddy/Sir about it as soon as she is able.
Princess will keep swearing to minimum when big (allowed to use if having playtime or has hurt themselves accidentally)

But really you need to make them specific to your dynamic.

[lo****]

@OwnerOfUthose sound very very similar to the rules my last Dom had.

[Deleted Member]

In mu experience with Littles, the most important thing is to set rules. Like with my little, little space was sacred. No sex, no sex talk, just the freedom to be small and be little. We came up with a signal so that I knew when little space was over and it was time for big person play. But those rules are really important to maintain trust both ways. So make sure when you set the rules that you're both on board with all of them and understand how concrete they should be. Hope this helps.

[no****]

Good luck, I’ve tried to introduce two self proclaimed kinky (but really vanilla) partners into lifestyle DDlg & it hasn’t worked. Coming from a switch, it takes a huge amount of effort to be a DD/CG & if you don’t derive genuine joy from doing that work, the dynamic will fall apart.

I hope your topping from the bottom experience is better than mine 💖

[ox****]

hey! so something that was huge for me, was coming up with pretty explicit boundaries for when this does/does not exist. for example: around family and friends: no; when we are discussing something important (social issues, personal issues about health, etc): no; etc. i think coming in with the clear understanding that boundaries and relationships evolve and shift, and what might be a yes now is a no later and visa a versa.

[ca****]

Littles making rules for daddy’s? Lol

[Se****]

Ew…. You’re supposed to be dominant, not dumb.

[Se****]

Look, this dude thinks being dominant means not recognizing us as humans. I feel bad for all the women that turned away from the life because they thought that BS he said was what this life was all about. SMH

[il****]

100% agree with sexyraven

[Fy****]

Setting boundaries is not the same as making rules. If you (general you) can't handle your little making boundaries, and you think they are "rules" you are not a safe person to be in a DD/lg dynamic, or any other dynamic for that matter

[il****]

So true.. even being a slave sub doesn't mean u can u whatever the h*** u want with him or her... There are still boundaries and safe space... Even a sadist Dom knows this ... A good Dom knows and respects the sub's safe space...

[ja****]

Saturday at 11:41 PM, SexyRavenManiac said:

Look, this dude thinks being dominant means not recognizing us as humans. I feel bad for all the women that turned away from the life because they thought that BS he said was what this life was all about. SMH

Look, you obviously are stuck in your own narrative. We asked for tips and advice cause it’s something new for him and he wants to learn. He wants to make sure this is something that is for him and something he enjoys and makes sure I enjoy. If you don’t agree simply keep scrolling. There’s no reason to be nasty cause someone asked for help.

[lo****]

On 4/15/2023 at 1:06 PM, cashman18 said:

Littles making rules for daddy’s? Lol

Your comment just made you, at the best, show ignorance. At worse someone not safe for any little to be with because you don't feel they need a say in what/where/when/how they feel safe.

[4R****]

On 4/17/2023 at 12:21 PM, jay563 said:

Look, you obviously are stuck in your own narrative. We asked for tips and advice cause it’s something new for him and he wants to learn. He wants to make sure this is something that is for him and something he enjoys and makes sure I enjoy. If you don’t agree simply keep scrolling. There’s no reason to be nasty cause someone asked for help.

@jay563 I think @SexyRavenManiac was refering to Cashman's coment and not to your original post. I haven't seen anyone here knocking you for asking for help.

[4R****]

On 4/15/2023 at 7:06 PM, cashman18 said:

Littles making rules for daddy’s? Lol

You clearly haven't read the OP correctly.

That said, I do understand what you're getting at as it does clearly state "daddy rules". However I suspect (and hope) that this is referring to what HE is agreeing to rather than her setting "rules" as such.

But as a Dom, he should set boundaries and agree to provide certain things and then stick to them. I think the issue is more with the terminology rather than the intent and again that is often simply down to inexperience and lack of knowledge.

Both should be applauded for seeking guidance. 

[ja****]

Thanks for clarifying!!! It’s usually a defensive subject to talk about when you say you’re introducing someone new. So much controversy!

[ja****]

3 hours ago, 4RCH said:

You clearly haven't read the OP correctly.

That said, I do understand what you're getting at as it does clearly state "daddy rules". However I suspect (and hope) that this is referring to what HE is agreeing to rather than her setting "rules" as such.

But as a Dom, he should set boundaries and agree to provide certain things and then stick to them. I think the issue is more with the terminology rather than the intent and again that is often simply down to inexperience and lack of knowledge.

Both should be applauded for seeking guidance. 

This!!! They’ve always just been called daddy rules for me. Princess has rules she has to abide by and so does daddy. Now they’re not necessarily rules for him but what I am and am not okay with. Which are rules for my body and my mental well being.

[lo****]

Those are commonly referred to as boundaries. That will help you with future discussions with others. Both your hard and soft "no" are the boundaries of which you speak.