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Let me understand why?


Gb****

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Posted
I'll say it from the start, in my opinion, these things should be done for pleasure, whether you are dominant or submissive, not for financial benefits.



1)....I hope that the admins and those who don't like the truth being told to their face don't report this post, I understand that we all have different opinions but what I don't understand is why the submissive or slave man always has to pay tribute or whatever the amount of *** for the dominant person of the opposite sex? I mean, I can understand if you are a professional dominatrix, you work legally and pay taxes, but it doesn't seem normal to me that every girl between 18 and 30 years old or older expects you to pay for these services. And I call them services because both parties provide services the slave does his job and the mistress her mistress' job. When most people (submissives, slaves) are looking for a dominant person to match and satisfy each other's needs or pleasures and why the dominant female side always looks for the financial side


2)...BIG QUESTION: if the dominant woman has the right to demand *** from submissive men or slaves, why don't submissive or slave women pay tribute and *** for the services provided by the dominant male side? I say that it is not right for women to ask for *** for things that must be done for pleasure and both parties are looking for them. I think that women who feel obliged and do not do these things for pure pleasure should take courses to prove that they have the skills they need to be dominant, get a graduation certificate that proves they know what they are doing, then get hired as a professional dominatrix and pay taxes, don't come here and ask men for ***
Posted

as a side note

nobody on here should be asking for, or offering, *** or gifts *unless* they have a Dominatrix profile and even then they should be approached not vice versa.

If anyone other than this requests or offers *** or gifts please end the conversation and report it. 

Posted
Because you’ve hit the nail on the head… in spite of all it's pretentious posturing about being progressive and subversive, the BDSM scene is essentially propped up by the old fashioned chauvinistic norms, so the man has to pay whether he’s a Dom (sugar daddy) or if he’s a sub (pay pig) and if he complains then he’s obviously not ‘for real’.
Posted
I don't think this always is the case at all. To my knowledge none of the dominant women I know demand ***. They have dynamics/relationships built on their mutual desires for pleasure or gratification, not pecuniary reward. If this has been your experience then I think that you need to explore a bit more and meet some new people.

On your other point, I'd be intrigued to know where you think these Dommes should get their training and certificates from.
Posted
@LibrarianOok all due respect, I’m sure you know some lovely honest and passionate dominant women in person who you’ve built up a friendship with over the years, but the OP is talking about the vast swathes of women you encounter online, who don’t have a prior familiarity with you or have even met you face to face.
Posted
Is it Forget The Supply/Demand Economics of Sex Work Day already?
Posted
If I go to the hairdresser and they cut my hair, I have to pay for their time and service. No different to sex workers really.
Life is transactional.
Whilst FET doesn't allow sex workers, they are here until they get reported and set up a new account.
Posted
He’s not talking about ‘Sex Work’ he made that clear in his post
Posted
Okay, he talks a lot of shit about certificates
Agreed
Posted
2 minutes ago, vicvega said:
He’s not talking about ‘Sex Work’ he made that clear in his post

And yet he's used the word 'service' several times
I mean he also used the word 'girl' to describe women so, let's assume it's a language barrier

Posted
I’m excluding Dominatrixes from this. It’s a noble and worthy trade. The bigger picture is non-professional women just expecting the man to assume the old fashioned role whether he’s D or s
Posted
I REPEAT BEFORE I GET A SHITSTORM OF REPLIES: I don’t endorse what this dude is saying about pro Dommes, but I think he’s accidentally made a point about the broader scene
Posted

one of the big solutions is to not just focus all your energy online.

Posted
10 minutes ago, vicvega said:

@LibrarianOok all due respect, I’m sure you know some lovely honest and passionate dominant women in person who you’ve built up a friendship with over the years, but the OP is talking about the vast swathes of women you encounter online, who don’t have a prior familiarity with you or have even met you face to face.

Fair point, but what I was trying to suggest is that he maybe needs to try to build up that kind of friendship/relationship with people. So seek a deeper interaction than the kind he seems to be having currently. 

Posted

on point 2

there are female submissives who pay - although it's being very heteronormative, because a lot will pay Female Dominants - however, Male Pro-Masters and 'Cash Masters' are a thing.

Posted

On point 1.

It's certainly not a case of 'every' woman - but there's a bit here where men tend to tell on themselves.

If you send excessive messages - so in the case of the OP he has sent 11,000 messages and received 6,000 replies - while in the 5,000 difference there is possibly a couple of times where he's replied 2 or 3 times before the other person - a gap of 5000 messages is excessive.  It suggests that the OP has been mass messaging a lot of women

Now this strategy is one that is off putting to 'genuine' women - but - the scammers will always reply, the people thinking he wants to pay for their time will always reply and some who might eyeroll and go "sure, pay me" will always reply.

If someone puts little care into who they contact and the messages they send out, they're not going to get the messages they want back.  

---

folk asking for payments online is a bit of a web but is also nothing new.   This particular site isn't tolerant of it but there's always those who will slip the net and if you message every bugger that signs up (which is quite predatory behaviour) you're going to get hit before people get caught

 

Posted
In my 18 months or so of being here OP I've never once been asked for payment or tribute yet have chatted to many women from the site - so I think your suggestion that *all* women expect it is somewhat wide of the mark.
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I don't deny it happens and have seen profiles that allude to it or in some cases outright ask for it - and those I report.
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I've also received messages that I can pretty much immediately tell will head that way if I engage with them.
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The key here as eyem suggests is being aware and selective enough to avoid the type of profile you're referring to, and part of that is not blanket bombing every woman within a certain radius yourself, as you're likely going to come across those that will be out to take your *** from you.
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However please don't suggest all women are like that - that does a disservice to the many genuine women that use the site and who most definitely don't expect payment or tribute.
Posted
10 hours ago, slboy said:

I understand that we all have different opinions but what I don't understand is why the submissive or slave man always has to pay tribute or whatever the amount of *** for the dominant person of the opposite sex? I mean, I can understand if you are a professional dominatrix, you work legally and pay taxes, but it doesn't seem normal to me that every girl between 18 and 30 years old or older expects you to pay for these services.

They don't. Any of of them. No "sub or slave man" always has to pay, and every girl (woman) doesn't expect you to.

I've been here for - I think - over four years, and of the many hundreds of women I've met/engaged in conversation with/who have reached out to me (via inbox, photo comment or any other means) only a scant handful have ever wanted ***, and these are often easily portable scammers from the last category. I'm not, of course, including the non-Pro profiles blatantly advertising financial interests which should not be on the site anyway.

Posted

in all my years - I've only ever had back one "sure, pay me" and that wasn't on this site.  

I have had some questionable contacts but it's rare.  Ironically I had one over night and the site caught it so the profile is already removed.

I understand it's frustrating for sure - but meeting someone, connecting with someone, is not a race.  If you only reach out to those who genuinely interest you it's a much better experience.  
I say that, maybe my own anxiety of "she would never be interested in ME" puts me off messaging people save for 2-3 times per year 

Posted
41 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

...of the many hundreds of women I've met/engaged in conversation with/who have reached out to me (via inbox, photo comment or any other means) only a scant handful have ever wanted ***...

Clarification; I don't mean at all that I've met hundreds of women here 🤦‍♂️ should probably have put "engaged in conversation" first 🤣

Posted
2 hours ago, LibrarianOok said:
I don't think this always is the case at all. To my knowledge none of the dominant women I know demand ***. They have dynamics/relationships built on their mutual desires for pleasure or gratification, not pecuniary reward. If this has been your experience then I think that you need to explore a bit more and meet some new people.

On your other point, I'd be intrigued to know where you think these Dommes should get their training and certificates from.

There was a post today.. that stated a femdom who dhoukd be worshipped and paid for the priviledge.

Posted
56 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

Clarification; I don't mean at all that I've met hundreds of women here 🤦‍♂️ should probably have put "engaged in conversation" first 🤣

Whore hahahahah

Posted

Ok so yeh, it's not all women. 

There are some who would chance it and you can tell right away from the profile detail or lack thereof that they are solely here to ask for ***. I always report these and the proof is in the username a lot of the time too. 

I find (in my own experience) that most of the "fake *** grabbers" are people (women) ages 18-23 from USA, on this site who come on and "advertise" though they don't have a dominatrix account, or they try to sell content/OF etc. 

Which I don't agree with as this site is a community and for fetishes and kinks.... not an easy hole to extort peoples likes. 

 

But there are also male scammers. The "sugar" daddies who offer you email addresses and numbers to contact, which I have come across a fair few times in my (almost 3yr) on here. (I ofcourse have reported these). 

 

There are real dominant women on here though, and a lot won't give the ordinary lacklustre profile joe any time or attention as there's no draw in for them to message or respond. Plus most just message because they've seen pictures they like, they know nothing of what the dominant woman is about because they don't bother reading her profile. Sad reality but as someone above mentioned, if someone does message and there's a possible interest, women (and men alike) check profiles in thorough detail, and they DO notice if someone has sent 117 messages that day, and that (for me anyway) is enough for me to be like nah, I'm not going to be someone's hopeful catch amongst a big giant net. 

But there are some who do want to connect with guys and will message first, because they've read the profile and think they seem compatible. But I can guarantee no genuine woman or domme will message someone first without an apt profile and bio, pictures and some sense of maturity to draw them in. And if someone does message a guys profile lacking the above, you will probably find they're the ones who are taking the *** and want ***.

But don't generalise. Not all 18-30 and above, is like that. We dislike negative generalising on here.

Posted
If she’s not a Pro Domme then you don’t have to pay. Simple as that. For the others it’s really easy to understand, most men are so desperate they will pay for anything. Stop paying and you will see a reduction of profiles asking for ***. But that will never happen.
In your post you forgot that for some it’s a kink, being a paypig, financial domination, blackmail etc…
And finally nobody stop a Dom asking for tribute, some subs bought me presents in the past, I didn’t ask but subs can have that gesture too.
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