Reasons Many People Crave Being “Little” and the Caregiver/Little Dynamic

[Deleted Member]

Well said love this

[uk****]

Perfectly said

[Tiger_Lily]

On 4/16/2023 at 5:52 PM, Time-Lord said:

• This is a brief reminder to all of the CG/L or daddy-doms/mommy-dommes there! It’s meant to briefly remind you that sometimes, the kink relationship that the caregiver-little dynamic brings…isn’t always just about sex. And even if it is a sexual dynamic, that in no way means that it doesn’t include a little more to it than just the sexy fun times. And a major point…this won’t be all-encompassing or deal with everyone and every situation. This is just what I see fairly often…

• Many littles need comfort because they really feel they lost out on it somehow in some parts of their life, whether when actually *** or just in their life as a whole…and in a regressive or more innocent mind-space, they’re far better able to accept it without the *** of being weak or ashamed or needy…their regressive mind-space genuinely enables them to accept love without as much of the ***, guilt, shame, or self-doubt that are a serious problem for a lot of people into this kink scene.

• Doubt and trust…: Doubt that if they let themselves go that someone will be there for them…and trust that they can give up that control without danger to themselves, physically, emotionally, or mentally. It’s the ultimate and sometimes overwhelming feeling of trust that a lot of littles crave. Because if they can surrender their adulthood, their serious responsibilities, and they STILL are cared for and loved…that proves, in some way, that their partner is truly there for them, completely and deeply. IN MANY kink relationships, that’s a defining feature of submissiveness…being able to surrender control and trust that even if it hurts or you’re scared or something COULD be frightening…you don’t need to doubt, because you have to completely give up trust and have faith.

• Simplicity: When you struggle with life, or are someone who is feeling overwhelmed by the ten thousand ***s and frustrations every day can bring, to be able to take a step into a simpler, kinder mindset is amazing…and it’s rare. But lots of littles crave that. And that is not often sexual…it’s actually kind of deeper, because that is a way for them to say that their ***s, doubts, ***, frustration…all of it isn’t truly meaningful to them when they have a caregiver to help them through.

• Love…in a deep, sincere, almost pure form it’s about love. It’s the idea that love is complex and deep and varied…it can come in a thousand forms and a million trillion strengths…and yet when they strip away all the complex crap, all the words that modify its meaning, all the details, they can give love in a pure and simple way that might mean even more because it IS so pure. And feeling loved LIKE that…the love a caregiver expresses when they care for, protect, help, nurture, and lead their little…that’s an intense thing. It’s like seeing for a moment that the whole world of your partner is focused on you..even if you know it can’t be because of their real-world concerns, that impression of intensity of love and focus and giving…it’s intoxicating in a way no drug will ever quite manage.

• Because they missed out…and need it now. It’s not a shock to realize that littles are more likely to come from families with manipulative, abusive, or neglectful environments, at least in my personal experiences. That doesn’t mean ALL do, and it’s true that many happy and healthy people still feel little…but for some it’s about replacing that feeling or replicating that feeling that was not there quite enough in your younger development, in the time period when you build your comprehension of the world and better understand how you feel about others and how they feel about you. And as a result, trying to replace that…trying to find comfort that you might miss or have missed out on, trying to remind yourself that those issues of the past can still be fixed and aren’t just going to be a hole in your heart and an ache in your chest for the rest of your life without fix or resolution…that’s heavy. That is HEAVY.

• Just my opinion…and I’m not therapist or psychoanalyst or trained professional. I’ve just seen a lot of patterns in this community, and read a lot of theoretical discussions to arrive at my own opinion…and if you agree, disagree, or are uncertain, I’d love to know. Do you think it’s true? What about your partner, if you have one? This can be a seriously important discussion topic…so I hope it works well to discuss it from here.

• Be well, little and big friends!

Being a Little is stressed relief, and fun! I have really hard time to express my feelings, and emotions for being autistic and ADHD.

[Tr****]

I agree whit this … I’m a little Myself and I Just wanna be Understood, Loved, Respected and Appreciated by My Care Giver … Don’t get me Wrong my Care Giver does Wonderful but I’m having Trouble communicating with Mine … Any advice???

[ba****]

Because I have autism and I also work in the healthcare field and I care for others all of the time. So I need a safe space to be loved and cares about and cared for.

[Hezzair]

Yeah wow. Heavy topic. I id as a middle and my parents separated when I was a ***. But yeah definitely tons of parental issues before that so makes total sense. And I'm also a Healthcare professional who is a caregiver, so just like barbie kitty above me, being cared for is nice for a change.

[Chloe-3457]

I'm a middle and I related to this so much. I feel like I need extra love, extra care and cherished. It's not just sexual but a deeper connection that's often extremely hard to achieve. Loved reading this and other people's perspectives too 🩷

[Krankykathy]

I'm new to this and for yrs thought I was too broken to trust anyone and wasn't worthy of being loved...thanks to a very caring and understanding dd I'm learning to heal and that not only am I worthy but I deserve to be loved and that I'm a special.. intelligent smart and beautiful bg. I'm so greatful to have been found and exposed to this link I never knew I had or needed. Thanks for explaining and helping me understand.

[Fe****]

true tat

[li****]

I'm a little scared how on point this is...
I use my little Space to cope with the stress that I deal with everyday.
For whatever reason, having the ability to just shut down and not worry about anything is amazing and I wish I had a CG to help make it easier to unwind.
It also helps to feel closer to my partner when cuddling and doing an activity or just watching TV or whatever.
It's also so refreshing to be able to feel safe/comfortable enough to get 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep without waking up randomly or feeling afraid of something happening if you sleep too deep (I'm a very light sleeper and it sucks).
Frankly I think I'm just missing the love and care in my life that I don't have, so having someone to be my rock and give hugs is amazing.

[Fa****]

Op was on point. A lot of the time thats how I feel. I do so much for others but I barely feel them reciprocate. I want to be able to feel affection, attention, safe, and loved.
I need it more than the people around me understand.

[Bi****]

Thank you for the explanation of so many things. I was totally wrong in my understanding of big and little. Amazingly, it does not change how I practice being a Big or CG. I have always been a protector and pillar for not just Littles but anyone who is unable to defend themselves. And anyone looking for a little respite or solace from their usual chaotic lifestyles.
Almost always, it is a mandatory rule in my house. Both people need to be relaxed and feel comfortable with each other before anything of a sexual nature can commence. With the exception being when the other person has a fantasy involving spontaneous, instant sublimation or dominance. But even that is agreed to beforehand and understood by both parties.
But, unknowingly I have allowed people to just come over and hang out because it just felt like that was what they needed at that time. Little did I know I was still in the capacity of my roll and didn't even realize it.
Thank you again. Things are a lot more clear now thanks to your explanation.

[Cr****]

What a beautiful and heartbreaking message... you've summarised how I feel so accurately in the paragraph of "because they missed out" 💔.