Bondage (and kink in general) and EDS

[Nocturne]

Hello,

I'm new to bondage, and a person who is interested in exploring this with me once I know more and have some practice has informed me they have EDS; ehlers danlos syndrome. Do any of you have experience with bondage with someone with EDS? Are there additional safety precautions that need to be kept in mind besides those listed on The Duchy's safety list, as well as paying extra attention to the joints and possibly leaving a bit more leeway space? 

Evidently, it will be some time before me and this person actually will do anything, given I have much to learn, but I'd like to hear a bit about the specifics for EDS if people here have input on it.

Thank you and have a good day/night.

[CopperKnob]

No experience with bondage and ehlers danlos but some with the condition itself.
Given your reference to the Duchy webaite I'm assumung you're talking about rope bondage/shibari?
Primarily you'll want to avoid placing any pressure on the joints at all due to the potential for dislocation. The skin can sometimes be fragile and tear with the slightest pressure.
The person with ED should be in a position to tell you more about how they experience the condition specifically to them. What's their range of motion like. How frequently are they dislocating, if at all which joints are more prone. How much body awareness do they have. Due they have skin sensitivities, issues with sensation such as blistering, irritation or circulation. Do they experience muscle fatigue which will affect how long they can stay in a tie. Im sure there's more but really, they need to do their own risk profile which will inform you.
.
It's also not acceptable for them to simply say that they will "do anything". What happens when they get injured, will they be accepting full responsibility or will they drag your name through the mud? It's fine to educate yourself but they need to do the same.

[Deleted Member]

Sounds like you should have some heavy expectation-setting conversations between you both. No amount of research and readiness will ensure a smooth session initially - you’ll both need patience and a willingness to learn ‘on the job’ and communicate.

I don’t think it’s fair to put the onus on you beyond basics and safety readiness. You may find much of what you can learn won’t be applicable for her anyways, and likewise may learn there’s material considerations specific to her which can increase comfort - that should be a shared commitment.

[Se****]

I don’t have EDS but am hypermobile the biggest things for me would be to ensure that you don’t over extend any joints ie don’t go past where the joint ought to go naturally in someone without EDS. Also, I find it difficult to remain in one position for a long period of time as it’s a) ***ful and b) I have to either physically lift parts of my body out of a position or have help to move so regular checkins would be crucial. That said everyone is different so it would be a conversation about what they do/don’t struggle with.

As an aside (and hopefully you’ll never need to know) there is a link between EDS and local anaesthetic in that it ISN’T as effective in persons with the condition if indeed it works at all.

[Nocturne]

10 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

No experience with bondage and ehlers danlos but some with the condition itself.
Given your reference to the Duchy webaite I'm assumung you're talking about rope bondage/shibari?
Primarily you'll want to avoid placing any pressure on the joints at all due to the potential for dislocation. The skin can sometimes be fragile and tear with the slightest pressure.
The person with ED should be in a position to tell you more about how they experience the condition specifically to them. What's their range of motion like. How frequently are they dislocating, if at all which joints are more prone. How much body awareness do they have. Due they have skin sensitivities, issues with sensation such as blistering, irritation or circulation. Do they experience muscle fatigue which will affect how long they can stay in a tie. Im sure there's more but really, they need to do their own risk profile which will inform you.
.
It's also not acceptable for them to simply say that they will "do anything". What happens when they get injured, will they be accepting full responsibility or will they drag your name through the mud? It's fine to educate yourself but they need to do the same.

I'm indeed asking about rope bondage, though I'm also considering suggesting to get some bondage accessories that would be suitable to their specific needs, I've seen a suggestion of cuffs connecting the arms to the thighs to avoid difficulty from holding the wrists together, or cuffs connected to a spreader bar, though right now we're avoiding adding more expenses, besides one we already planned.

I'll be asking him those questions, he wasn't sure what information he needed so thank you for giving some direction in what questions are most important to ask.

I might not have phrased it clearly; when I said "do anything" I meant that it would take some time for us to dip our toes into bondage and actually do something. They did not tell me they agree to anything, though they do prefer me giving ideas, they have been doing some research on subjects we've spoken about as well. I definitely do expect him to do appropriate research too, while I'll be taking on more responsibility in some ways, he's still responsible for himself and what he informs me of.

Thank you for the information, I appreciate it, have a good day/night.

[Nocturne]

10 hours ago, AnAlterEgo1 said:

Sounds like you should have some heavy expectation-setting conversations between you both. No amount of research and readiness will ensure a smooth session initially - you’ll both need patience and a willingness to learn ‘on the job’ and communicate.

I don’t think it’s fair to put the onus on you beyond basics and safety readiness. You may find much of what you can learn won’t be applicable for her anyways, and likewise may learn there’s material considerations specific to her which can increase comfort - that should be a shared commitment.

That's true, I believe that we have the willingness to be patient and figure these things out.

I'll definitely share the commitment and responsibility with him, thank you for your advice.

Have a good day/night.

[Nocturne]

1 hour ago, FatefulDestiny said:

I don’t have EDS but am hypermobile the biggest things for me would be to ensure that you don’t over extend any joints ie don’t go past where the joint ought to go naturally in someone without EDS. Also, I find it difficult to remain in one position for a long period of time as it’s a) ***ful and b) I have to either physically lift parts of my body out of a position or have help to move so regular checkins would be crucial. That said everyone is different so it would be a conversation about what they do/don’t struggle with.

As an aside (and hopefully you’ll never need to know) there is a link between EDS and local anaesthetic in that it ISN’T as effective in persons with the condition if indeed it works at all.

Aha, that makes sense, thank you! I'm glad to also have some information from someone who has a similar condition, I'll keep it in mind and check whether he has similar experiences.

Have a good day/night.