Visitation realization

[ph****]

At any given moment at least half of my visitors are men. I never went to a profile because I assumed they are gay or bi and I wouldn’t want to imply anything and get someone’s hopes up. But it has been a running joke between me and my girls that I’d get more ass if I went to the other team.

So, once again, I showed them my visitors and one of my girls said, “They might not be gay, they may be trying to learn.” I wasn’t buying it. What could they possibly “learn” from me? If they are trying to learn, they aren’t messaging me and my filters are wide open so anyone should (barring FET hiccups) be able to reach out.

“They don’t have to ask, look at your status updates, look at your relationship history, look at your posts. They can learn a lot just from being on your page.”

Ok, I’m game, I tell her, I’m going to go to all the guys pages that visited me and see what’s what. If they’re straight, you win… if not, well, we’ll leave it at that for the thread.

So I go to all the pages and mothercuss me!, 72%… straight as an arrow. Mind blown. She’s all giggles, and laughter, and a bunch of cheesy grinned I told you so’s and maybe some prancing and dancing. But me, my whole world changed. Why?! Why are straight guys coming to my page?

“I told you they’re trying…” I throw her that stfu-for-a-second look. “Sorry.”

So I ask myself, “Self, when are they visiting?”

It’s typically after a status update or when I reply to a post. Ok, what about them brings…

“You have girls… Plural… Us.” I throw her that I-didn’t-tell-you-to-stfu-but-I-know-I-threw-you-the-I’ll-get-my-point-across-look-but-you’re-prolly-onto-something look so… Come put your head on my lap, sugar. “Thank you Daddy!”
…

My girls show me their DMs, they laugh at the lack of game, or lack of respect, or lack of knowledge or experience that most guys approach them with. They know most aren’t making it past their pics. Let me reiterate this—MOST—so sorry if I’m not sorry, but, if I’m not agreeing verbally, I’m shaking my head.

If you think you’re original or impressive sliding in with dick pics or “I’m here, call me Sir, slut!” Or my favorite, “Mmmmm.”
Just.
Cussing.
“Mmmmmm.”
What, the entire, cuss?!
That’s your in?!
Whatever.
If this is how you think you should hit up most people, not only are you wrong…

“You’re creepy and you look funny!” They do don’t they, sweetie? Shhh, let Daddy type. “Yes Sir.”

I get it, if you’re looking for a quickie, sure, grab a fistful of darts throw ‘em at the wall and see what sticks. Congrats, mission accomplished. But, if you’re struggling to get one that’ll stick around…

“Game recognizes game, and you ain’t looking very familiar.” Gimme that! “High five!”
…

Here’s the rub. Not only are you getting laughed at by more potentials than just my girls, the fact that I felt the need to post this is probably going to get more people coming to my page than you’ll be able to go to.

“Daddy’s having company! Let’s get ready!” You’re such a cutie. “Thank you.” You’re welcome, go get dressed.

Look, you do you. Be the most authentic you you can be. I’m not really gonna judge. But if you’re wondering some whys, maybe there are some answers in here for you. Maybe they’re why-nots. Either way…

‘Preciate the time. Good luck. You’ll need it.

[ko****]

its very simple. its not clear from your tiny pic what you look like at all. so people investigate.

[Deleted Member]

Yes definitely not clear from your pic

[ja****]

I get lots of gay stuff too idk why I can’t turn it off

[DaFetts]

I cant see the smaller tiles profile pics clearly. Sometimes I mistakenly hit a guys profile. Lookin at your pic in smaller tile..you got some nice titties 😉

[Deleted Member]

You post a lot, the platform is likely heavily skewed to straight men, your profile pic is tiny, and default behavior for the app is to not filter anyone. You’ll get a lot of visitors simply from accidental clicks (it’s really easy to hit a profile while trying to swipe to scroll on mobile), and even more from those hitting the profile pic on your text comments where all they see is that.
=
The guys who need advice the most definitely aren’t looking at your profile for advice, they’re busy sending the low effort messages you highlighted.

[ge****]

Firstly people look at profiles for many reasons not just because of an interest in meeting/contacting that person, I just looked at yours because I wanted to see the person behind the thread and get a gauge of them, others might look because, as you suggest, you posted a status update or a new pic or whatever and yeah some may look to see if you're bi/gay whatever (because you can't see that information without looking).
.
In fact there could be a whole heap of reasons people look and, unless they contact you, you'll likely never know why.
.
Secondly on sites like this many guys will put their orientation as straight, even though they're bi, in the mistaken belief that people won't meet them if they're bi - so someone identifying as straight doesn't necessarily mean that they are.
.
As for how many men approach women on sites like this, yeah you're right they have it completely wrong, but sadly it'll never change and whilst it should always be called out, they'll never learn - and will probably never pay attention to threads like these - ultimately they're the losers though.

[Se****]

Great thread. Mainly because so many times I have almost written the same thing but knew that it wouldn’t do any good (in relation to how many guys approach the ladies on this site) - it is truly horrific. As an ex cop, I’m no stranger to unpleasant behaviour but almost every lady I talk to hear has had an unpleasant experience. Ranging from inappropriate honorific’s, unsolicited dick pics (when has that EVER worked as a pickup line), those who can’t handle rejection and get abusive, I see and hear about so many red flags associated with domestic ***, guys creating new account to *** someone who blocked them and in one extreme case a sub told me about a case of blackmail and attempted ***! This behaviour DOES need calling out in my opinion.

[ey****]

the assumption that folk make is "If people visit my profile they must be interested" but "interested" doesn't mean wants to bang you.

there have been threads in the past which is like "people visit my profile but don't message me!" and there's actually lots of reasons someone might visit your profile.

I, umm, I don't actually see when men view my profile as I've got my filters set to only women, but even then a reason for visiting me might just be to find out more - especially if I've posted in the forum or something

[Je****]

With Eyem, on this one. 

Guys can visit profiles at any point in time that they wish, without any sexual attraction. Same as anyone can. A lot are straight yes, but sometimes profile pictures aren't clear, they see things on newsfeed and want a further look. Sometimes if you have a partner linked they may have checked her, then checked you. 

It can be for forum posts and other picture ideas. Maybe what to write in bios. 

I agree some men do approach women with 0 respect intended, and haven't gotten to the bio due to only seeing the pictures and thinking with their "other" brain, but those people are very easy to spot. 

Most of mine, send me fet ice breakers, which is the first line on my profile of what not to do. So knowing this I just block them. As my profile says I would if they dm and not read. 

I see common complaints from guys though.... "men always check me out I'm sick of it!"

Why? What's wrong with that? Are some people uncomfy that other guys view them and their possible nudes, that are intended for other audiences? That's their problem. 

Some guys who get upset by male visitors honestly makes me wonder if they're that% uncomfortable in their own self and sexuality who get so offended that a man has checked them. Believe me, although uncommon, it happens.

There is a massive lack of consent, courtesy and respect towards "most" women on this site from males. Not all the time but a good lot from what I have seen, but you're right, they are doing themselves no favours. 

Just this morning (perhaps late last night) I had someone 1200km away send me a dick pic, and asking me if that's what I want.... Um. No.

Never in the history of anything have I seen a man be successful this way. Sure if a woman is into that, she will likely say on the profile. But let's face it, most don't even know if she is because they don't read. maybe they'll spam the dick pics to 50% of women and only 2% actually like random stuff like that. 

Perhaps some are exhibitionists and want to show off, but, that's not ok as they don't have consent to throw their manhood in someone's face. Some could be spammer bots who just don't care, some could be into ***. 

Some could be doing the same to men also, out of curiosity, to flaunt it, perhaps make other men jealous, to gain reactions. Any number of reasons. 

But men  do view men almost as much as they view women sometimes. It's not always clear by a username, so they ***p and see what or who they're looking at. Be it to learn, kinks, dressing up. education via forum posts, even how to present photos, or some may simply just think you're a good looking guy. It can be any number of things tbh. 

I feel it's a bit cruel to laugh at people. I guess I mostly put my energy into being sensitive and getting offended (hahaha) when people are being trassholes in my inbox but it's soon forgotten about. 

Women view women, T view T, NB view NB. Just the way of the internet. 

Just take it as a compliment

[Da****]

Lots of great points made by the OP and in comments. Phantum there is a God. It isn't you though. 😜 But you are funny you've got a particular style which can be charming, and you've got stuff to teach. I'd follow you for sure.

Here's what I've taken away. Men can help men. Men should help men. But most of all men should be able to sit comfortably in the company of other men straight or not and be comfortable just being. Just belonging. Come on chaps let's do that!

[Je****]

11 minutes ago, DanTienDomD said:

Here's what I've taken away. Men can help men. Men should help men. But most of all men should be able to sit comfortably in the company of other men straight or not and be comfortable just being. Just belonging.

Love this so much. Sadly I don't think it'll ever be. 

[Deleted Member]

Men do message women on here horribly. I don't mind being called names when I'm in that sub/dom relationship and we've built up trust etc. But to just "hey slut" it ***es me off.
I had to change my bio because of the way people were messaging me and that's not right!

[QXX666]

Not sure why you are concerned if you have many gurls under your natural dominance. If you are so comfortable with your sexuality you shouldn’t raise issues and tarnish your natural confidence.
And as mentioned below if you don’t want the attention just like us then use settings to avoid men visitations…

[Deleted Member]

Bit of a long thread for something so trivial. I guess it depends on your makeup as to how it affects you. It doesn't bother me that men look at my profile. I have no reason to be concerned with regards to my masculinity and whether by accident or intent I don't care if a guy looks at my profile. If a guy wants to interact with me that's cool I have no objection. I am a straight guy as it says on my profile but first and foremost I'm a human being. Yes, clearly that means anything BDSM and sexual would be with a female from my perspective but a discussion about other topics is not a problem, akin to chatting in the pub. Let's not get too heated about people looking at you, it happens all the time in all walks of life. It doesn't mean they want to interact. Keep it simple and be kind

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, DanTienDomD said:

Lots of great points made by the OP and in comments. Phantum there is a God. It isn't you though. 😜 But you are funny you've got a particular style which can be charming, and you've got stuff to teach. I'd follow you for sure.

Here's what I've taken away. Men can help men. Men should help men. But most of all men should be able to sit comfortably in the company of other men straight or not and be comfortable just being. Just belonging. Come on chaps let's do that!

With you man, all the way!

[ph****]

7 hours ago, konseannery said:

its very simple. its not clear from your tiny pic what you look like at all. so people investigate.

I’ll take that. I’ve been thinking of using another one but it’s prolly too tiny as well.

[ph****]

6 hours ago, jaylovesthemcurvy said:

I get lots of gay stuff too idk why I can’t turn it off

Most of them aren’t gay, even if they were I wouldn’t turn off, or shut down, anyone that wanted to talk.

[ph****]

6 hours ago, DaFetts said:

I cant see the smaller tiles profile pics clearly. Sometimes I mistakenly hit a guys profile. Lookin at your pic in smaller tile..you got some nice titties 😉

My man boobs are aren’t bad at all if I do say so myself. I mean at my age and I still don’t wear a bra, I’ll take it!

[ph****]

6 hours ago, AnAlterEgo1 said:

You post a lot, the platform is likely heavily skewed to straight men, your profile pic is tiny, and default behavior for the app is to not filter anyone. You’ll get a lot of visitors simply from accidental clicks (it’s really easy to hit a profile while trying to swipe to scroll on mobile), and even more from those hitting the profile pic on your text comments where all they see is that.
=
The guys who need advice the most definitely aren’t looking at your profile for advice, they’re busy sending the low effort messages you highlighted.

I actually started messaging the guys that visit me and there are a good chunk that that wonder how they got there themselves.

[ph****]

5 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Firstly people look at profiles for many reasons not just because of an interest in meeting/contacting that person, I just looked at yours because I wanted to see the person behind the thread and get a gauge of them, others might look because, as you suggest, you posted a status update or a new pic or whatever and yeah some may look to see if you're bi/gay whatever (because you can't see that information without looking).
.
In fact there could be a whole heap of reasons people look and, unless they contact you, you'll likely never know why.
.
Secondly on sites like this many guys will put their orientation as straight, even though they're bi, in the mistaken belief that people won't meet them if they're bi - so someone identifying as straight doesn't necessarily mean that they are.
.
As for how many men approach women on sites like this, yeah you're right they have it completely wrong, but sadly it'll never change and whilst it should always be called out, they'll never learn - and will probably never pay attention to threads like these - ultimately they're the losers though.

The “secondly” part has me curious, the “people that won’t meet them” you’re referring to, I assume are women, which, yeah, I get, but… There’s a level of dishonesty in that, while I can wrap my brain around as forgivable if someone isn’t out, seems like not a good starting point, anyways.

[ph****]

5 hours ago, SensuousDom said:

Great thread. Mainly because so many times I have almost written the same thing but knew that it wouldn’t do any good (in relation to how many guys approach the ladies on this site) - it is truly horrific. As an ex cop, I’m no stranger to unpleasant behaviour but almost every lady I talk to hear has had an unpleasant experience. Ranging from inappropriate honorific’s, unsolicited dick pics (when has that EVER worked as a pickup line), those who can’t handle rejection and get abusive, I see and hear about so many red flags associated with domestic ***, guys creating new account to *** someone who blocked them and in one extreme case a sub told me about a case of blackmail and attempted ***! This behaviour DOES need calling out in my opinion.

‘Preciate it! For sure I almost didn’t post it, I was sorta challenged by someone and after a few rewrites, eh, here we are.

Maybe there is a bit of me “trying to point it out early”, but more so is the idea that etiquette is built in to kink, at least the way I was taught, and it’s apparent not everyone thinks the same way.

As long as it’s not abusive, the way you referred to, whatever floats the banana.

[Je****]

16 minutes ago, phantum said:

I actually started messaging the guys that visit me and there are a good chunk that that wonder how they got there themselves.

This sounds like an awkward embarrassed and dismissive reply. 

If someone messaged me why i ***ped id probably be like ... I dunno. 

 

However another thing to bare in mind..

 

The quick kink feature on here, anyone who uses it whether they spank or X... The feature leaves a "visit" on the persons profile

 

So if i used it and had settings to "everyone" any guys girls or otherwise that i X (not for me) will get a profile view from me. Even if i didnt click on their page myself. 

Just worth the mention. 

[ph****]

3 hours ago, Finally_Jen said:

With Eyem, on this one. 

Guys can visit profiles at any point in time that they wish, without any sexual attraction. Same as anyone can. A lot are straight yes, but sometimes profile pictures aren't clear, they see things on newsfeed and want a further look. Sometimes if you have a partner linked they may have checked her, then checked you. 

It can be for forum posts and other picture ideas. Maybe what to write in bios. 

I agree some men do approach women with 0 respect intended, and haven't gotten to the bio due to only seeing the pictures and thinking with their "other" brain, but those people are very easy to spot. 

Most of mine, send me fet ice breakers, which is the first line on my profile of what not to do. So knowing this I just block them. As my profile says I would if they dm and not read. 

I see common complaints from guys though.... "men always check me out I'm sick of it!"

Why? What's wrong with that? Are some people uncomfy that other guys view them and their possible nudes, that are intended for other audiences? That's their problem. 

Some guys who get upset by male visitors honestly makes me wonder if they're that% uncomfortable in their own self and sexuality who get so offended that a man has checked them. Believe me, although uncommon, it happens.

There is a massive lack of consent, courtesy and respect towards "most" women on this site from males. Not all the time but a good lot from what I have seen, but you're right, they are doing themselves no favours. 

Just this morning (perhaps late last night) I had someone 1200km away send me a dick pic, and asking me if that's what I want.... Um. No.

Never in the history of anything have I seen a man be successful this way. Sure if a woman is into that, she will likely say on the profile. But let's face it, most don't even know if she is because they don't read. maybe they'll spam the dick pics to 50% of women and only 2% actually like random stuff like that. 

Perhaps some are exhibitionists and want to show off, but, that's not ok as they don't have consent to throw their manhood in someone's face. Some could be spammer bots who just don't care, some could be into ***. 

Some could be doing the same to men also, out of curiosity, to flaunt it, perhaps make other men jealous, to gain reactions. Any number of reasons. 

But men  do view men almost as much as they view women sometimes. It's not always clear by a username, so they ***p and see what or who they're looking at. Be it to learn, kinks, dressing up. education via forum posts, even how to present photos, or some may simply just think you're a good looking guy. It can be any number of things tbh. 

I feel it's a bit cruel to laugh at people. I guess I mostly put my energy into being sensitive and getting offended (hahaha) when people are being trassholes in my inbox but it's soon forgotten about. 

Women view women, T view T, NB view NB. Just the way of the internet. 

Just take it as a compliment

I’ll never take it any other way.

And yeah, I started messaging them asking why, and a lot of them happen on me because they’re visiting one of the girls.

There a are a lot of figures of s***ch and narratives in the post, but to be clear, they do laugh sometimes, they have to. The icebreaker “Mmmm.” had us cracking up.

[ph****]

No doubt about the God comment, I said this before, I was sort of challenged with this and I’m still not comfortable with how much “me” is in it.

And the last part!, I’m all about it!