The Spicy Sads

[funsized_ang]

18 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

I think whilst most of the comments are well intentioned/coming from a good place I sometimes think that telling someone who is experiencing depression to, do exercise/spend time with friends etc is like telling a double amputee to tap dance.
A couple of years ago, I experienced low mood due to stress, disrupted sleep and a couple of other factors and the most simple things like walking the dogs was too much to even think about let alone do. The most I could do was to get dressed and show up for work, present myself to others that I was OK even though I wasn't.
What works for one person won't work for everyone. The brain and mind are too complex for blanket responses and I think what it boils down to is the cause. If you can identify that, then that will likely identify the road to 'recovery' whilst acknowledging that recovery isn't always about returning to the person/functional ability/state that we were previously

This one made me feel very seen and validated. I’ve been struggling with the bare minimum for the past few days and I just keep trying to drown everything out, binge reading to get by. But honestly I can’t keep it up anymore and I feel like that 4 hour cry is gonna come around tonight. Thankfully I’m in a safe space and I know I won’t do anything to harm myself or anyone else, but I feel the pieces starting starting to crumble deep in my chest. I’m disappointed that this hit me when I was just starting to get somewhere within the vetting process, and I feel completely alone even if I know that’s not the case. So thank you for validating me💜

[Re****]

Self inflicted ***

[Il****]

Tuesday at 02:04 PM, undeaddom said:

in the reverse role but i let them know i’m going to be gone for awhile get my brother grab a bottle and drink until i no longer feel like adding to certain statistics. yes it is FAR from healthy but it prevents it at least temporarily but i deal with whatever the root cause may be after i don’t feel like adding to statistics it works surprisingly well

The important thing on your comment is that you found a way not to add to the statistics, AND that you deal with the problem. You are right that falling into alcohol isn't healthy, but if it's for a short time and that you are going to the root of what brings you there it's not the same as wallowing and just always drink to avoid the problem.

[Il****]

Op, when I was younger, the deeper I went into depression, the more I reached to virtual people instead of real person in my life, than, when I hit the bottom, while leaving in a different country, I stopped to reach anybody. Now, I too tend to disappear when I don't feel right.

One of the things that help, was seeing a therapist. I didn't have the *** to do it, so I went to a university to see a student in his last part of his doctorate. 35$ for an hour instead of 120$. It helps, a lot!
Another ressources I used, was a woman shelter. I know in Canada, some are for women victims of domestic ***, and some are just for women needing help.

About the executive dysfunction, I have it, my daughter have it too. My only advice is to do a list of things that need to be done. Add as much as you want. You can do a list of self-care too. Than when the day is too much, do what you can and skip the rest. It's an open list, not for the day, the week, etc. Just ok, I need to have my tax done, to do the dishes, wash my clothes, to eat.
Than at the end of the day... Hey I've eaten thrice today! That's good!
Or, ok, I add 3 things to the list and didn't do anything on it, that's ok, I'm still there to try again tomorrow.

Last thing, I rejoin a lot of people telling about being honest with the one you are talking too. When you feel you beginning to downside... Just tell the Dom, hey, by the way, if I disappear for a while, it will be because of myself and my mental health not because of anything that you've done. I will think of you on that time, but I won't be able to reach out.
I hoped I help you a bit. Take care of yourself, and begin the list of self-care, because when you'll need it, you won't be able to do it

[br****]

I keep an open journal and often *** myself to write in it. Even if it’s just the highs and lows of my day. Every dom I’ve ever maintained a healthy relationship with has access to it — and it’s just a great way to check in on my mental health. And in all honesty, I think the last thing sir wants is me just crying on them for no reason.

[Nocturne]

7 minutes ago, brattymindgames said:

I keep an open journal and often *** myself to write in it. Even if it’s just the highs and lows of my day. Every dom I’ve ever maintained a healthy relationship with has access to it — and it’s just a great way to check in on my mental health. And in all honesty, I think the last thing sir wants is me just crying on them for no reason.

That's a great way to deal with it, I wish more people would have such open communication in this regard to keep things clear. I personally also keep a journal, never shared it however, though I did note down relevant things to talk about in important relationships if I couldn't address it at that moment.