Traditions kept

[Sire_Osiris]

Tell me if placing value on traditions matter. As a sub, do you prefer a Dom who makes up his own type of play or would you prefer a Dom who was taught traditionally from another Dom?
How much does experience matter?
Which is most suitable for you, measuring experience in time or number of partners, or some other value?

[ge****]

The thing about "traditions" is they tend to lean towards suggesting there's only one way to kink/BDSM when we all know that individual dynamics are precisely that....individual.
.
Now of course there are some general high level things that should be constants such as trust, respect, knowledge etc but they're just building blocks.
.
So for me it's very much about the individual dynamic formed with any dominant and that has it's basis in connection, chemistry, mutual trust and respect and so much more.
.
Experience comes into it, but it's more to do with the person, their levels of knowledge and understanding etc than "time served".

[Ha****]

The traditional BDSM with the old rules, norms and values vs the new generation of BDSM. This is gonna be fun 🤣

[ey****]

Ultimately - it doesn't matter if a Dominant either was "taught" from one person, from group learning or self-taught (which, to be honest, is still probably have involved a lot of learning from others)

if their style doesn't work for the partner

not compatible

if it does

potentially compatible 

---

ultimately if someone has learnt directly from one person - it all depends, really, on the style of that one person, the quality of the training, etc

[Je****]

1 hour ago, Sire_Osiris said:

Tell me if placing value on traditions matter. As a sub, do you prefer a Dom who makes up his own type of play or would you prefer a Dom who was taught traditionally from another Dom?
How much does experience matter?
Which is most suitable for you, measuring experience in time or number of partners, or some other value?

For me, I don't mind if someone is Old School or New and inexperienced. If I were to get into a dynamic the main factors for me, is age and maturity levels. 

If someone is old enough (for my preferences) and has a mature head on them, to have time and patience, research and explore, as well as dealing with the bumps in the road, how they manage mistakes and upsets, or behave overall... that's a big turn on for me. 

If the connection is right, inexperienced or seasoned, then I am happy to take that step and see where it takes us. 

[da****]

I think everyone is different to be frank, I like a loving and caring dom, but I also like to be punished and love a possessive dom. Experiences doesn't matter you can learn together and some are fast learners.

[My****]

There’s no exact method. All subs are different in their own special way. Some subs like to have an experienced dom, while others want to experiment first time experiences together. I’ve been to some kinky event and talked with some very experienced doms, and what I learned was most of the men in their 50s never had a committed relationship, talked about girls like they were a piece of fuckmeat, egotistic and have zero respect. They got really defensive when I said “women give us the power and control, we don’t just take it” so experience imo doesn’t mean shit. What subs really want, is a dom who is patient, kind, strict when they need to be, caring and trustworthy. If you have those, your father ahead than you might think.

[MasterP-6801]

This isn’t a serious question is it

[Ha****]

4 minutes ago, MasterP-6801 said:

This isn’t a serious question is it

Yes, this is a really a serious question.

[Li****]

To me, a Dom doesn't need taught another Dom's ways of how's just to copy and paste a lifestyle.
Yes, by all means, learn from others (including other roles and genders), but don't let someone else's fix be determined as yours.
I care that a Dom is respectful, kind, considerate, has instilled values, etiquette, is mature, emotionally available.
As far as experience goes, I only wouldn't want brand new.
Experience in time, effort, commitment, not having millions of partners. That's a huge no for me.

[CopperKnob]

It will depend on what the individuals in the relationship want from it won't it.
If its a long term relationship then what matters for me is that I like the person ratger than what they bring to the kink table. If the foundations for a relationship are present the kink aspects can be built on
I personally don't want someone to tell me, "this is how we kink because it's what I read was taught/want/" it's something that we'll discuss and agree on, together. Because that's what relationships are all about

[Sire_Osiris]

This was a serious question. And now it would be truly informative to hear from subs what they prefer; learned Doms with a sense of tradition or Dom who are self taught.

[CopperKnob]

1 minute ago, Sire_Osiris said:

This was a serious question. And now it would be truly informative to hear from subs what they prefer; learned Doms with a sense of tradition or Dom who are self taught.

I think subs, and switches have responded in the main?

[h-****]

I don't understand what the tradition is in this instance? I've just play with fun, respectful people who I can have an honest conversation with.

[ge****]

42 minutes ago, Sire_Osiris said:

This was a serious question. And now it would be truly informative to hear from subs what they prefer; learned Doms with a sense of tradition or Dom who are self taught.

As CK says subs/switches have responded already, but the thing is it's not quite as either/or as you're making it out to be, which is why I was a little more expansive in my answer to explain my personal preferences which aren't based on either of your two options - something I'm sure you'll find with many submissives

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Sire_Osiris said:

This was a serious question. And now it would be truly informative to hear from subs what they prefer; learned Doms with a sense of tradition or Dom who are self taught.

but you can be self taught with a sense of "tradition" or be taught from someone else to be your own thing

these are not mutually exclusive 

[Sire_Osiris]

Thank you all for contributing your time and responses. I appreciate those subs who provided perspective.

[Cr****]

Traditional and preferably mentored. This newer style of self-labeled dominant men don’t have the skill-set to set up a scene, negotiate limits , or safety practices is very disappointing. To me without these traditional protocols, it’s just kink to me. Sometimes I play along, but my biggest kink is the TPE. If you don’t know what that is, then your just kinky. If I’m going to turn my power and control to a “Dominant”, in the bedroom or otherwise, I want to know that my Dom knows what the hell he’s doing; I.e., breath play. Experience matters and I don’t want to be the one educating as it will diminish my respect and change the dynamics. I would say, for me, it would be combination of time and number of partners reflects experience needed. Bonus for being mentored. If skills are acquired educationally, that’s okay too, just don’t want to be the first you use it on.

[Charms]

It does not bothe me . As long as the dom listens to me an we agree on everything. 

 

I am masters 1st sub. He as never learnt from any one he just knows what he wants an as learnt It himself.  He told me I was his 1st gf he'd had that would agree to do anything at all kinky.

 

We actually did not know each other was a kinkster when we started dating. I just thought I'd have to go back to being vanila after over 15 years of being a kinkster. Because yes he actually is worth going vanila for was then an always will be.

 

He didn't ask as he didn't think it was something I'd be into. Iv never played with anyone who as been trained by another kinkster.

 

[Charms]

On 4/27/2023 at 5:41 AM, CrazyMermaid said:

Traditional and preferably mentored. This newer style of self-labeled dominant men don’t have the skill-set to set up a scene, negotiate limits , or safety practices is very disappointing. To me without these traditional protocols, it’s just kink to me. Sometimes I play along, but my biggest kink is the TPE. If you don’t know what that is, then your just kinky. If I’m going to turn my power and control to a “Dominant”, in the bedroom or otherwise, I want to know that my Dom knows what the hell he’s doing; I.e., breath play. Experience matters and I don’t want to be the one educating as it will diminish my respect and change the dynamics. I would say, for me, it would be combination of time and number of partners reflects experience needed. Bonus for being mentored. If skills are acquired educationally, that’s okay too, just don’t want to be the first you use it on.

I think your wrong my master as all the tools he needs that a mentored dom has. Maybe not ever dom does but mine certainly  does. I'm extremely proud of my master.

[Deleted Member]

For me, it's better if the Dom was taught traditionally in the core rules by mentors and a community. Recently, I was so disappointed.😕 He was experienced in the bedroom, but no experience in Sub's emotions. You can read and research the importance of the Sub's emotions, but you really don't know the true level until hearing from many Subs. Hope you understand my meaning.

Edited April 29, 2023 by Deleted Member
Misunderstanding

[Cr****]

Thursday at 04:12 AM, Sire_Osiris said:

Thank you all for contributing your time and responses. I appreciate those subs who provided perspective.

This was interesting.

[Ha****]

19 minutes ago, CrazyMermaid said:

This was interesting.

Worrying fits better