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Don't be that guy (What is consent)


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Posted
1 minute ago, zRyan_NY said:

Not saying it’s okay in ANY of my replies. Though Fet did when you signed up and didn’t read their terms of service. Sorry you can’t see that. I hope you have a better day. Cheers

I ask again - can you point me to the part of the TOS where it states it's OK and users have consented to it?

Posted
4 minutes ago, Taboofun21 said:

Yeah you definitely send dick pics and you probably think that all the woman that don’t respond to them are just in too much awe to reply. You are definitely that guy

You seem like the type that when you don’t agree with someone you simply insult without any second thought. I hope you feel better. Cheers

Posted
8 minutes ago, zRyan_NY said:

Oh I certainly understand and never once shamed you or said you were wrong. This is the last response I’ll give to this. Go and read all of the terms of service policy that you blindly agreed to while signing up. I am sorry this affected you negatively, truly. That’s all.

When it comes to IRL dynamics its a different story which is why things are discussed and not printed in fine print. So that comparison is irrelevant. Once again sorry this happens to the women who do not appreciate it. Some do and I hope in the future you know what you agree to when signing up. Hope your day gets better, cheers.

You don't understand the crux of my post at all. It doesn't matter if it's in the TOS. It is not about what is allowed on this site or others. It is about educating people on bdsm etiquette and safety. People join Fetish and other places looking to get involved in kink and power exchange. Consent is at the very heart of that, and new people need to understand. If you don't get my consent (or the woman in the pic...) to send graphic kink images, will you ask for consent to do x, y or z when I am bound and can't stop you? Getting explicit consent for actions is something that needs to become automatic habit.

Posted
7 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

actually - it's explicitly against the TOS to send dick pics.

which you'd know if you actually read it - instead of making excuses for what is a sex offence

You are simply speaking fallacy my friend. This was changed and now they add a blurred adult content warning so you in fact are made aware ahead of time. It seems nobody can actually accept a comment that’s on a controversial topic. I am totally unbiased one way or another. The group mentality here is strong. Cheers

Posted
4 minutes ago, zRyan_NY said:

Though Fet did when you signed up and didn’t read their terms of service

Hi there

Sending dick pics is against our terms of service

please desist from telling people otherwise

--

for anyone else. if you do receive an unsolicited dick pic - please hit report and end the conversation.   

Posted
4 minutes ago, zRyan_NY said:

You seem like the type that when you don’t agree with someone you simply insult without any second thought. I hope you feel better. Cheers

I love that you ignored the much larger paragraph that I wrote where I made good point and replied to this one where you didn’t have to argue your point. And to answer you I can disagree with someone that makes a valid argument without insulting them. But morons like you I feel I have to insult. Maybe if your parents and ***rs pointed out to you as a child that you were a moron then maybe you wouldn’t be how you are now and I wouldn’t have to explain it to you.

Posted
2 minutes ago, Char__ said:

You don't understand the crux of my post at all. It doesn't matter if it's in the TOS. It is not about what is allowed on this site or others. It is about educating people on bdsm etiquette and safety. People join Fetish and other places looking to get involved in kink and power exchange. Consent is at the very heart of that, and new people need to understand. If you don't get my consent (or the woman in the pic...) to send graphic kink images, will you ask for consent to do x, y or z when I am bound and can't stop you? Getting explicit consent for actions is something that needs to become automatic habit.

Oh hence the reason I expressed my apologizes this happens to women multiple times. Never once said it was okay. I have just come across too many of these posts lately. The crux is simple. This app is overloaded with inexperienced people and has gone downhill fast. It’s a shame truly.

Posted
2 minutes ago, zRyan_NY said:

Oh hence the reason I expressed my apologizes this happens to women multiple times. Never once said it was okay. I have just come across too many of these posts lately. The crux is simple. This app is overloaded with inexperienced people and has gone downhill fast. It’s a shame truly.

"This app is overloaded with inexperienced people"
Yes. Yes it is. A point you've made very well

Posted
9 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

I ask again - can you point me to the part of the TOS where it states it's OK and users have consented to it?

Go read it yourself. It’s not that serious of a thing. It has been changed recently so you get a blurred photo with an adult content warning. I have never said it’s okay and expressed my apologies as to what happened . I just think especially on a kink app where consent is key people should take the 5 minutes to read it…. The reason it happens constantly is because it is in fact allowed and people are not banned is enough of a citation.

Posted
In my profile, I explicitly say no men. I am a lesbian, however I get a lot of men. This is ok because most are respectful when I let them know I'm not interested, however if you send creepy or explicit messages and photos, I will not answer, simple.
Posted
3 minutes ago, Taboofun21 said:

I love that you ignored the much larger paragraph that I wrote where I made good point and replied to this one where you didn’t have to argue your point. And to answer you I can disagree with someone that makes a valid argument without insulting them. But morons like you I feel I have to insult. Maybe if your parents and ***rs pointed out to you as a child that you were a moron then maybe you wouldn’t be how you are now and I wouldn’t have to explain it to you.

I am being bombarded with so much hate that I am sorry if I missed that. Sincerely, I am not trying to insult or demean anyone here at all it got out of hand too quickly.

Posted
2 minutes ago, zRyan_NY said:

this happens to women multiple times.

Although it generally happens more to women, it happens to guys too - lord know's why!

Posted
2 minutes ago, zRyan_NY said:

Go read it yourself. It’s not that serious of a thing. It has been changed recently so you get a blurred photo with an adult content warning. I have never said it’s okay and expressed my apologies as to what happened . I just think especially on a kink app where consent is key people should take the 5 minutes to read it…. The reason it happens constantly is because it is in fact allowed and people are not banned is enough of a citation.

Hi there
Sending dick pics is against our terms of service
please desist from telling people otherwise
--
for anyone else. if you do receive an unsolicited dick pic - please hit report and end the conversation.

Posted
2 minutes ago, zRyan_NY said:

Go read it yourself. It’s not that serious of a thing. It has been changed recently so you get a blurred photo with an adult content warning. I have never said it’s okay and expressed my apologies as to what happened . I just think especially on a kink app where consent is key people should take the 5 minutes to read it…. The reason it happens constantly is because it is in fact allowed and people are not banned is enough of a citation.

It is that serious
You've literally just had a Mod correct you and you're continuing with your nonsense.
DICK PICS ARE NOT ALLOWED
The adult content warning doesn't negate the need for consent to be given before you send explicit content to another member.

Posted
3 minutes ago, zRyan_NY said:

I am being bombarded with so much hate that I am sorry if I missed that. Sincerely, I am not trying to insult or demean anyone here at all it got out of hand too quickly.

Getting bombarded with the hate is too much for you? Are dick pics okay the ?

Posted
8 minutes ago, zRyan_NY said:

Oh hence the reason I expressed my apologizes this happens to women multiple times. Never once said it was okay. I have just come across too many of these posts lately. The crux is simple. This app is overloaded with inexperienced people and has gone downhill fast. It’s a shame truly.

The vast majority of the posts in response to yours haven't suggested you say it's OK to do so - what people have taken issue with is your attempts to waive it away when others do it, and effectively victim blame, by saying the site TOS say it's OK, so people have to accept it.
.
I've now asked three times for you to point me to the part of the TOS that indicates consent is given to be sent obscene images and you've failed to do so - and now a Mod has confirmed it's against the TOS and should be reported - so the only "fallacy" around here appears to be your continued attempts to suggest otherwise.
.
I'll agree that inexperience comes into it, as does a sadly shocking degree of men still thinking that kind of behaviour is OK, but then it hasn't changed in over 25 years of me using the Internet and adult sites - so it's not a case of going downhill fast, it's always been the way and shows how far men still have to go in learning basic moral behaviours on-line.

Posted
3 minutes ago, Taboofun21 said:

Getting bombarded with the hate is too much for you? Are dick pics okay the ?

I’m sorry but I don’t see the logic in the comparison? Me apologizing for not fully replying your comment is not the same at all lol. At this point this is just finding any reason to make this into me being such a horrible person simply for pointing out the TOS while expressing apologies to the OP for what happened. No condoning or attacking anyone has come from me. Only the witch hunt party that has gathered.

Posted
1 minute ago, zRyan_NY said:

I’m sorry but I don’t see the logic in the comparison? Me apologizing for not fully replying your comment is not the same at all lol. At this point this is just finding any reason to make this into me being such a horrible person simply for pointing out the TOS while expressing apologies to the OP for what happened. No condoning or attacking anyone has come from me. Only the witch hunt party that has gathered.

There is no witch "hunt" what there is is many people (including a Mod) telling you that you're wrong about the TOU's. At what point will you stop arguing and say "you know what? I was wrong. I'm sorry"

Posted
10 minutes ago, zRyan_NY said:

Go read it yourself. It’s not that serious of a thing. It has been changed recently so you get a blurred photo with an adult content warning. I have never said it’s okay and expressed my apologies as to what happened . I just think especially on a kink app where consent is key people should take the 5 minutes to read it…. The reason it happens constantly is because it is in fact allowed and people are not banned is enough of a citation.

As I said, I've now read it twice and nowhere do I see anything that suggests consent is given to be sent obscene pics - and a Mod has corrected you and asked you to desist from stating otherwise. So either put your *** where your mouth is and show us the relevant section, or quit with repeating it.
.
The reason for the blurred photo with an adult content warning is far from what you suggest and all about protecting users from things they neither wish to see nor consent to seeing and giving them the choice to do so or not.

Posted
7 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

The vast majority of the posts in response to yours haven't suggested you say it's OK to do so - what people have taken issue with is your attempts to waive it away when others do it, and effectively victim blame, by saying the site TOS say it's OK, so people have to accept it.
.
I've now asked three times for you to point me to the part of the TOS that indicates consent is given to be sent obscene images and you've failed to do so - and now a Mod has confirmed it's against the TOS and should be reported - so the only "fallacy" around here appears to be your continued attempts to suggest otherwise.
.
I'll agree that inexperience comes into it, as does a sadly shocking degree of men still thinking that kind of behaviour is OK, but then it hasn't changed in over 25 years of me using the Internet and adult sites - so it's not a case of going downhill fast, it's always been the way and shows how far men still have to go in learning basic moral behaviours on-line.

This is the first coherent response I have received so thank you. I once again never said they HAVE to accept anything. I was simply saying EXPECT it. It’s the reality we live in. Any app for that matter.. instagram, tinder etc. I am not sure why you can’t simply look yourself? Though I agree it’s downhill nature of this very unmoderated app. If I wanted to just spam pictures of my dick to people I wouldn’t use a kink app. In reality penetration really isn’t used as a “kink” in the usual sense that is. The dynamic is why I am here. If it was indeed a fallacy why has nobody ever been banned?

I’m sorry that instead of looking for yourself you want me to and at this point with all these replies I will in fact find it. And make a dang bibliography.

Posted
5 minutes ago, zRyan_NY said:

I’m sorry but I don’t see the logic in the comparison? Me apologizing for not fully replying your comment is not the same at all lol. At this point this is just finding any reason to make this into me being such a horrible person simply for pointing out the TOS while expressing apologies to the OP for what happened. No condoning or attacking anyone has come from me. Only the witch hunt party that has gathered.

You said like three time “this will be my last response” and yet you keep talking. Even after you have been proven wrong. Maybe is you stopped talking, the “witch hunt” would go away. You’re the reason this discussion is still going on.

Posted
13 minutes ago, 4RCH said:

Although it generally happens more to women, it happens to guys too - lord know's why!

Agreed. I could have brought that up as well because trust me we get just as many. Though my whole original comment wasn’t even an argument of whether it’s acceptable or okay. Simply it’s expected and everyone on this thread has agreed to this possibility during signup. Have a good day mate. Cheers!

Posted
4 minutes ago, zRyan_NY said:

This is the first coherent response I have received so thank you. I once again never said they HAVE to accept anything. I was simply saying EXPECT it. It’s the reality we live in. Any app for that matter.. instagram, tinder etc. I am not sure why you can’t simply look yourself? Though I agree it’s downhill nature of this very unmoderated app. If I wanted to just spam pictures of my dick to people I wouldn’t use a kink app. In reality penetration really isn’t used as a “kink” in the usual sense that is. The dynamic is why I am here. If it was indeed a fallacy why has nobody ever been banned?

I’m sorry that instead of looking for yourself you want me to and at this point with all these replies I will in fact find it. And make a dang bibliography.

I wait, with baited breath, for you bibliography

Posted
4 minutes ago, zRyan_NY said:

This is the first coherent response I have received so thank you. I once again never said they HAVE to accept anything. I was simply saying EXPECT it. It’s the reality we live in. Any app for that matter.. instagram, tinder etc. I am not sure why you can’t simply look yourself? Though I agree it’s downhill nature of this very unmoderated app. If I wanted to just spam pictures of my dick to people I wouldn’t use a kink app. In reality penetration really isn’t used as a “kink” in the usual sense that is. The dynamic is why I am here. If it was indeed a fallacy why has nobody ever been banned?

I’m sorry that instead of looking for yourself you want me to and at this point with all these replies I will in fact find it. And make a dang bibliography.

We don’t even have to look. The MOD posted it in this very topic. Just scroll up. Fuck you are stupid

Posted
37 minutes ago, kree90 said:

A woman is allowed to rant when she receives her 100th dick pic in a week. We aren't talking about one or two. Yes, we often just ignore or block, but we are allowed to ask: what the hell?
And just because we are on a kink site, our opinions of what the opposite sex does to us doesn't matter? That's what I'm afraid of new people thinking.

I love your post .

 

I actually  got told the other day by a gentleman that I should not moan or be angry at him because he started asking sexual  questions an being x rated.

 

Because 1 we are on a kink site an that's what kink is it's sexual an he should be allowed to ask me sexual  things.

 

Also on my profile I say I would love to learn more about the sub side to kink. Apparently being a submissive is all.about sex an letting  a domminante ues me for sex.

 

I said not every sub is into sex or sexual things. There are all sorts of different ways you can be a submissive an they do not all involve sex .

There are lots of things I do fo my master that are not sexual  in any shape or form. Shocking lots of things I do for him I'm even fully clothed.

 

I pointed out to him that I had in fact in capital letters said I would not talk about anything  sexual and I do not wish to receive dick pics. I added these words years ago because I was getting  at least 5 guys a day sending me dick pics. 

 

He said there was no such words on my profile.  There is I had others check .

 

Also because  there are pictures  of my boobs on my profile I must want to talk about sex. I pointed out that you can see topless women on beaches all over different countries and there are also nudist  beaches. But they are not there to have men talk sexual  to them.

 

For me anything  I do sexual is personal an private an it's for my master an I only .

 

Sorry for the rant

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