Vetting multiple partners at once isnt bad

[Deleted Member]

I know it sounds bad but here me out. I’ve done the whole vetting one partner at a time not having other options open before deciding that this person is the one. Only to be hurt and having to start over again…finally i thought to myself if guys can have multiple girls they see why can’t i do the same. I do this to one keep my options open and see who i vibe with. So far I’ve dropped a few potential partners and had let them know it’s not that i didn’t enjoy their company it was more that we wanted different things and happy just being friends. My point is don’t settle just because they are saying all the right things doesn’t mean they mean it.

[vtplay44]

Very true good luck with your search

[Deleted Member]

Completely agree

[littlemiss37]

I totally get it . All the best x

[mo****]

Why by the book when you can go to library works for me

[Le****]

I'm a guy but I totally agree. I've dated two absolute stunners in the last few months and both times I cut off any other potential women only to be left having to start again from scratch when it doesn't work out. This time I'm doing what you are and keeping my options open and dating/speaking with multiple, until I'm certain they either are or arent 'the one'....Good for you.

[Deleted Member]

I completely agree until your in a committed relationship!!!! No need to be committed to everyone!!!!! Get to know them and see if you connect!!!! Great idea!!!!!

[do****]

Totally agree. No one should put themselves in a box unless they want to. As long as you are upfront and honest, do you. Your LS must be respected as others would like their LS to be. They have the option of continuing the engagement or not. You did your part and provided informed consent. Gender has no say so here. It goes for everyone

[x2****]

Thats exactly the way it should be.

[Ma****]

Well just don't be to honest I guess. It's blows up in your face

[Deleted Member]

It's refreshing to see someone here even mention vetting. I seem to only get messages from horny dudes who don't know or care about an actual dynamic or how one's role plays into it. I think it's smart you're vetting multiple people to widen your chances at finding a good match.

[Be****]

8 hours ago, Serenity7 said:

It's refreshing to see someone here even mention vetting. I seem to only get messages from horny dudes who don't know or care about an actual dynamic or how one's role plays into it. I think it's smart you're vetting multiple people to widen your chances at finding a good match.

It is kinda hard to know how a conversation has to go.. i really prefer more openes in the profile about expectations in treatment. Some matches will put you on ignore when you take a vanilla approach being interested in them as a person, while others dont like a guy who's first message is how they would like to play with them. Sometimes it kinda feels like there isn't a correct way and it's just pure luck.. Especially when the match isn't that open to begin with.

[Go****]

If they are not clear in their profile of how to approach, then maybe they are not for you. The vetting process.is.good for all in volved. Let's face it. Another of us have lives outside of this. My time is valuable and my patients is thin regarding the wrong approach.

[ey****]

I think, honestly - like providing everyone is being honest (or, not being dishonest) there's no harm talking to multiple people at once.  you're talking to multiple people, not promising them each the world

mind, of course, the downside of this to a degree is, a little, there may well become a point where you choose to pursue something properly with one person which may make others feel they were played.  Also a risk you could go into a date having already got preferences for someone else, meaning the other person could felt used.

I'm not against this approach, mind, but... managing expectations is a juggling act

[li****]

I vet more than one Dom, you have to narrow them down to the one that fits you best, I have yet to find him.